Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady! [Kindle Edition]

Birdie Jaworski (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Her posts draw more than 1000 hits a day from readers fascinated by the woman who buys antiwrinkle cream for her pet monkey Hubert or by the wife who orders Bust-Sculpt Contouring ointment for her husband who ingests it as an alternative to Viagra." - Time Magazine

"What Birdie discovered about people - and herself - went more than skin deep." - Positive Thinking Magazine

"One reason for Ms. Jaworski's popularity: her unvarnished reviews of Avon products, which she tries before peddling to customers." - Wall Street Journal

Product Description

For Birdie Jaworski, life as an Avon Lady was a bittersweet mix of embarking on gossip-worthy adventures, searching for Mr. Right, and making emergency lotion requests in the middle of the night... while managing as a single parent.

Birdie hawks Avon at a strip club, a bowling alley on Men's League Night, and of course door-to-door. She meets customers who answer the door naked, who want to buy wrinkle cream for their pet monkey, or who are harboring dark - and funny - secrets. She even sells Avon to celebrities who want to keep their zits a secret!

The book reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life when Catholic Charities calls her and tells her the daughter she gave up for adoption is now an adult and wants to meet her. This book follows Birdie's journey during one summer while she decides whether to meet her daughter while selling Avon cosmetics door-to-door. A funny and beautifully touching read.

Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio. Her blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Format: Kindle Edition
• File Size: 925 KB
• Publisher: Menendez Publishing (December 6, 2007)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0011E486G
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,949 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  • #32 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Biographies & Memoirs > Specific Groups > Women
  • #68 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Specific Groups > Women
  • #87 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Biographies & Memoirs > Memoirs

More About the Author

Birdie is the author of the Avon Lady Memoir, "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She is also the author of several books about Las Vegas, New Mexico, including "My Tiny Vegas," a collection of stories about the strange and wonderful cowboys, santeros, and bad boys that call Las Vegas home.

Birdie's life and stories have been profiled in the New York Times, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. Her articles and stories have appeared in many national publications.

Birdie loves salsa dancing, staring folks down with her left eye, yodeling, and making exotic crafts out of popsicle sticks.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm an Avon Lady and I laughed so much!, November 27, 2008

By 

Bonnie Byron (Phoenix, AZ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Don't Shoot! I'm Just The Avon Lady! (Paperback)

I have followed Birdie Jaworski's "Beauty Dish" Blog for years, ever since she started selling Avon and got a call from Catholic Charities that the daughter she gave up for adoption wanted to meet her. This book is the real life story of Birdie meeting one crazy southern California Avon customer after another while she decides whether or not to meet her now-adult daughter.

The book is laugh-out-loud funny! Birdie sells Avon to a woman who wants to buy anti-wrinkle cream for her pet monkey. She comes up with outrageous schemes for pushing Avon - from attending "Ladies' Night" at the strip club to holding yard sales where her two little boys try to help her unload bottles of bubble bath to selling Avon to men during a bowling league championship.

As an Avon Lady, I can't tell you how many times I had to call up my upline and read her sections out of the book while laughing hysterically. I actually found some amazing sales tips in the stories, too!

Birdie's descriptions will make you believe you are right next to her selling Avon. Her heartfelt account of having a baby as a teenager and giving her up for adoption will bring tears to your eyes. Birdie has a lot of guts writing such a dear and personal book. At the end of the book, I really felt as if I knew Birdie in person, and I felt ready to tackle my Avon business with renevewed vigor. Birdie really gets across the point that Avon can help you meet new friends and help you overcome your own fears.

This isn't a book just for Avon ladies. It's a book for any human who is struggling to make his or her way in the world with a difficult job. It's a book that will make you laugh and cry.

You will want to find all of Birdie's other stories on the internet after reading this book! I really recommend that you do that. Her stories about her boys' love of Star Trek are also really funny and touching. I also love her stories about New Mexico, where she now lives.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed so hard!, December 3, 2008

By 

Kenny Parham "1KParham" (Rockford, Illinois) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Don't Shoot! I'm Just The Avon Lady! (Paperback)

How absolutely hilarious! Who knew that selling Avon could provide for such gut-busting adventures? I generally do not read comedic-type books-- I'm more of a serious person by nature. But after reading a couple of excerpts from this book, I had to have it. The author's description of people and events is so vivid, so completely funny, that I felt like I was right there with her, such as during the chapter entitled: Below the belt belongs to Turkey!. And I loved the story of the "Bunion Lady". I won't say anymore, so as not to give anything away. There is also a touching, sensitive side to this book, wherein the author details how her past revisits her. But I can't stress how incredibly funny this book is, from beginning to end. If you love to laugh, then this is a must-read.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars HILARIOUS!!, November 30, 2008

By 

Todd Hagopian "CEO of the Hagopian Institute ... (Michigan) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Don't Shoot! I'm Just The Avon Lady! (Paperback)

I have not laughed this loud, while reading a book, in years! Very funny accounts of this woman's tales of trying to sell Avon products in hilarious ways.

I am a businessman, but this book was referred to me by an Avon lady who just could not stop telling me funny stories from it. I figured I would read it and see what happened...It was great! I enjoyed every minute.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is in sales, or anyone who enjoys funny books! Have fun!