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Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady! [Kindle Edition]

Birdie Jaworski
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)

Digital List Price: $3.99 What's this?
Print List Price: $12.95
Kindle Purchase Price: $3.99
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Book Description

For Birdie Jaworski, life as an Avon Lady was a bittersweet mix of embarking on gossip-worthy adventures, searching for Mr. Right, and making emergency lotion requests in the middle of the night... while managing as a single parent.

Birdie hawks Avon at a strip club, a bowling alley on Men's League Night, and of course door-to-door. She meets customers who answer the door naked, who want to buy wrinkle cream for their pet monkey, or who are harboring dark - and funny - secrets. She even sells Avon to celebrities who want to keep their zits a secret!

The book reveals a surprising and touching account of her personal life when Catholic Charities calls her and tells her the daughter she gave up for adoption is now an adult and wants to meet her. This book follows Birdie's journey during one summer while she decides whether to meet her daughter while selling Avon cosmetics door-to-door. A funny and beautifully touching read.

Birdie's stories have appeared in many online and print journals as well as on National Public Radio. Her blog on which this memoir is based, has been featured in the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Wall Street Journal, and Positive Thinking magazine.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"Her posts draw more than 1000 hits a day from readers fascinated by the woman who buys antiwrinkle cream for her pet monkey Hubert or by the wife who orders Bust-Sculpt Contouring ointment for her husband who ingests it as an alternative to Viagra." - Time Magazine


"What Birdie discovered about people - and herself - went more than skin deep." - Positive Thinking Magazine


"One reason for Ms. Jaworski's popularity: her unvarnished reviews of Avon products, which she tries before peddling to customers." - Wall Street Journal

From the Author

I still sell Avon, still have door-to-door adventures! I hope you enjoy my memoir!

Product Details

  • File Size: 896 KB
  • Print Length: 250 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1440464863
  • Publisher: Menendez Publishing (December 6, 2007)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0011E486G
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #211,106 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

It made me smile and laugh. Alfred Lima  |  11 reviewers made a similar statement
It's more like reading a diary or journal, not a book. Bailey  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HILARIOUS!! November 30, 2008
Format:Paperback
I have not laughed this loud, while reading a book, in years! Very funny accounts of this woman's tales of trying to sell Avon products in hilarious ways.

I am a businessman, but this book was referred to me by an Avon lady who just could not stop telling me funny stories from it. I figured I would read it and see what happened...It was great! I enjoyed every minute.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is in sales, or anyone who enjoys funny books! Have fun!
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed so hard! December 3, 2008
Format:Paperback
How absolutely hilarious! Who knew that selling Avon could provide for such gut-busting adventures? I generally do not read comedic-type books-- I'm more of a serious person by nature. But after reading a couple of excerpts from this book, I had to have it. The author's description of people and events is so vivid, so completely funny, that I felt like I was right there with her, such as during the chapter entitled: Below the belt belongs to Turkey!. And I loved the story of the "Bunion Lady". I won't say anymore, so as not to give anything away. There is also a touching, sensitive side to this book, wherein the author details how her past revisits her. But I can't stress how incredibly funny this book is, from beginning to end. If you love to laugh, then this is a must-read.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You'll Laugh, You'll Cry! December 7, 2008
Format:Paperback
You'll laugh, you'll cry -- I guarantee you'll want to hug the author! I bought this book first in hardback and savored every single page. Am ordering a bunch more copies in paperback to give as holiday gifts to friends who are sure to enjoy this poignant mix of real-life hardship and hilarity. I have never before read an author so able to convey unquenchable optimism and zest for life on every page as Ms. Jaworski. Without a doubt this is a "stay up late to finish and then call a friend to say 'You have to read this!' book. But you'd better buy two if you plan to share because you won't want to give your own copy away!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting
As a Tupperware sales woman myself and just starting out, this book actually inspired me and gave me ideas. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Laura Moranz
1.0 out of 5 stars VULGAR
If you love to read foul language and a book with no real flow, just a bunch of disjointed stories, you'll like this book. A lot of it made no sense. Read more
Published 3 months ago by PoohBear
5.0 out of 5 stars Different
This book is defiently different but in a good way. Gives you an inside look at the Avon lady, very interesting not to mention funny.
Published 4 months ago by Iheartlucy
3.0 out of 5 stars Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!
This book isn't as funny as what it claims to be. Instead it's a story of a single mother raising her kids, with plot lines that you wouldn't identify with being a salesperson of... Read more
Published 4 months ago by angelpeaches
3.0 out of 5 stars Had to work to finish it
I thought this book would be funnier. It wasn't that funny. Was hoping for more, I guess, and the book just took some weird twists and turns that didn't connect. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Mary-Leah Moore
3.0 out of 5 stars It's OK
I thought the book was funny in some parts. Mostly I thought it was a downer. I was looking for some inspiration to join the company but her story really doesn't cast a good... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Michele
3.0 out of 5 stars Nice Diversion
This is a good read for a diversion. Great for a quick getaway from reality, not necessarily one that I can't wait to get back to. There is a story in the background. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Curtains4U
5.0 out of 5 stars Bittersweet
This book will stay with you long after you finish. Birdie is a true writer and her style reminds me very much of Anne Lamott. Read more
Published 9 months ago by KiwiWriter
2.0 out of 5 stars Directionless Mix
This mishmosh can't decide whether it wants to be wacky comedy about the odd things that happen in direct sales, or the story of a woman reuniting with the child she gave up for... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Lynda in Oregon
5.0 out of 5 stars You don't have to sell Avon to love this story!
A really good read for any woman! I got it because I wanted to see what it was like to sell Avon today. I read it cover to cover because I fell in love with the characters. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Taxi
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More About the Author

Birdie is the author of the Avon Lady Memoir, "Don't Shoot! I'm Just the Avon Lady!" which was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. She is also the author of several books about Las Vegas, New Mexico, including "My Tiny Vegas," a collection of stories about the strange and wonderful cowboys, santeros, and bad boys that call Las Vegas home.

Birdie's life and stories have been profiled in the New York Times, Time Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal. Her articles and stories have appeared in many national publications.

Birdie loves salsa dancing, staring folks down with her left eye, yodeling, and making exotic crafts out of popsicle sticks.

You may visit Birdie on the web at birdiejaworski.com

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