Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man [Mass Market Paperback]

Tim Allen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 11, 1995

In a dual biography and humorous information guide, the star of Home Improvement discusses his prison term and successful television show while offering hints on how to deal with the opposite sex and recognize the parallels between golf courses and strip joints. Reprint.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Actor Allen's comic meditation on men and woman was a PW bestseller for 17 weeks.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

The spawn of Seinlanguage: shticky meditations by a stand-up comic who now stars in a top-rated television show. As Tim Taylor, Allen is the focal point of Home Improvement, but his manly-man persona plays off his wife, ``Tool Time'' cohorts, and other characters. Here we have Allen solo, closer to the stand-up mode, musing ``about many things I want to say about being a man.'' His short chapters mainly consist of riffs on his past, his humor safely in the middle American mainstream. Born Timothy Allen Dick, he learned to cope with his unusual moniker through humor and thus segues into observations genitalistic. Allen resents women saying men's cars are linked to their penises: ``What's an extension of the vagina--a purse?'' His life was transformed, he writes, by a Playboy centerfold, and he does have some wise thoughts on objectification: ``If we could have had sex with our cars and boats, it would have been a lot easier. But we'd be a smaller species.'' What should men ``look for in a gal? The answer is easy: breath.'' Allen balances such cheap laughs with some insights, suggesting that women, like men, seek glitz in a partner but eventually settle for ``the family station wagon.'' There's more: marriage, sports, and, of course, tools, leading to his innovative analysis of the impact of tool belts on butt cracks. He ends with some heartfelt sentiments on fatherhood. Allen only briefly touches on the traumas that have fueled his psyche: the death of his father in a car wreck when Tim was 11 and a prison sentence for selling drugs. (The lack of privacy in prison supplies the book's title.) More memoir and less shtick might have been a better balance here. For loyal fans, who should still be plentiful. (First printing of 500,000; first serial to TV Guide and Playboy) -- Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion; 1st edition (August 11, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0786889020
• ISBN-13: 978-0786889020
• Product Dimensions: 6.6 x 4.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #843,486 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #44 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Arts & Literature > Artists, Architects & Photographers

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Vulgar Humor, February 8, 2001

By 

hikingShoe "mattshoemaker" (Middletown, Ohio, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man (Mass Market Paperback)

I picked this book out knowing it was going to be great. I have seen one of his stand up acts on video and I knew what to expect. The first couple chapters are pretty much about how much he thought about sex when he was younger. That can really turn a reader off, unless you really wanted to know about that. This sticks out in my mind because it's full of some of his sexual experiences. The book is set up as like a stand up act, little short stories of life's lessons and things that just stick out in his mind. I got over the sexual humor and was able to enjoy this book thouroghly.

If you buy this book because you think you like Tim Allen on Home Improvement, you may think twice. This is a totally different kind of humor. Home Improvement is a family show with jokes that can apply to all ages. But books are uncensored, and this one you could say, took advantage of that. But don't let this scare you, it is full of some great jokes.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Funny, but thoughtful as well, August 8, 2004

By 

Andrew W. Johns "ResQgeek" (Alexandria, VA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man (Mass Market Paperback)

Here's another book that clearly is an attempt to take advantage of the success of a television show. I enjoy Tim Allen's humor and thought his show was pretty good, and was expecting more of the same in this book. There is a lot of very funny material in this book, and I frequently laughed out loud. I especially enjoyed the chapter entitled "The Secrets Men Never Tell Women" (no, I'm not going to tell--you'll have to read the book!). Surprisingly, though, Tim Allen also reveals a philosophical side here as well. Parts of this book are quite thoughtful and reflective, and show a surprising depth. I definitely can relate to much of the material in the chapter on fatherhood. This is a fun book that also provides a little food for thought.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The funniest book I have ever read, July 10, 2002

By 

Walter R. Moss - See all my reviews

This review is from: Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man (Mass Market Paperback)

I first saw Tim Allen on Home Improvement and thought he was great. Then I saw every movie he was in and they were great. I, unfortunately, have not had the chance to see his stand up acts (although i hope to shortly). I bought this book with a little hesitation because of the title. But once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. This book is very frank on his early sexual experiences. (I personally liked the part of the poster). I would not recommend it to the child fan of his tv show because the jokes are either too vulgar for little kids or they may not get them the way they were intended. Anyone else that enjoys uncut humor should buy this book. I guarantee you that you will not regret the decision.