Customer Reviews

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Richard and Kris Carlson have hit the vein of gold with this book. Each chapter is a polished gem of insight and truth. Pointing out the contrast between hurting behavior and loving behavior in such a way that you can't deny it, they give very practical, hands-on tips on how to be a better partner for life. My wife and I read a chapter aloud each day. We want it to stretch out as long as possible. It has already improved our relationship. If you have relationship troubles, order this book immediately!

By:Bree-Anna Mustad

When reading this book, "Don't sweat the small stuff in Love" by Richard Carlson and Kristine Carlson, I read a number of different stories which had really triggared a lot of emotions on the present relationship I was dealing with. I felt as though the book was dirrectly speaking to me, and I was just convincing myself it was just another one of those cheesy love advice books, when really it was two people who have been through the hardships in relationships and discided to right their experiences and thoughts down. When I started to read the first chapter, "Mostly, be pals," I put the book down for a couple moments, almost thinking in my head how it related to my situation, and then picked it up again going on to "Learning to laugh at yourself." The good thing about this book is it not only specified a certain relationship with the opposite sex, it took any kind of relationship you could have with anyone and showed you how to handle cercumstances with that person to make that relationship easier. One of the quotes I liked out of that chapter was, "It's quite remarkable to observe what happens to a potentially heated interaction when someone is able to keep their sense of humor. In most cases, the situation is diffused and simply melts away." And that is the kind of advice that helps you in any circumstance. One of the chapters I personally learned the most from was chapter 49, "Take responsibility for your own happiness." This was why I titled this book review "Everything I needed to hear but noone told me." This chapter helped me realize that you cannot base your own happiness on other people. It should'nt be that you get into a relationship or make a new friend in order for them to fulfill something missing inside of you. Just like it's so easy to think someday you'll fall in love and then the rest of your life will be perfect. This chapter allows you to see that if your not fully happy and content with the individual you are, then envolving another human in your life will just take your focus away from your unhappiness and put that pressure on someone else to fulfill that. Personally, before I read this book, I kept asking myself and wondering what was wrong with my boyfriend and why was he not making me happy all the time. But now when I look at it I question to myself what was missing inside of me that was'nt making myself happy. For anyone that struggles with relationships and has a hard time admitting the truths about how you are in them...pick up this book. It will definatly enlighten you on an entire new way of opening your eyes to the little moments you can aviod to make those relationships easier.

If there was ever a book that could help change your relationship in a week, this is the book. By applying some of the very simple techniques, you will see amazing results. This book will not only help you in your marriage or dating relationship, it will also help you to become a better friend in general.

"Ideally, our relationship is one part of life that feels like a sanctuary - a partnership that is mutually nourishing and enriching both spiritually and emotionally." ~pg. 106

I noticed that when I changed, people around me started to change. It was as if this book contains those secrets we have all been looking for to improve all our relationships. There is a simple reason. This is written from the heart and deals with those real life issues we all care about. We all have that basic need to be unconditionally loved. Just to be loved and appreciated for who we are.

However, we have all developed habits that break down our connection with those important people in our lives. It is those little annoying habits that limit communication, take us down paths we don't want to follow that seem to cause the most problems. We repeat these habits over and over again, each time destroying a part of a relationship we care about.

At times we feel as if we are going to have to end a marriage or a friendship because the problems seem insurmountable. That is exactly the time we have to start to look at what "we" are doing to hurt or help our relationships. Those rare and beautiful friendships with people we really care about are so unique, I can't think of any reason not to put away our pride and start to mend the hurt we may have caused. Sometimes it means we have to say we are sorry or maybe we have to be willing to forgive the hurt others have caused us. The feeling of letting it all go is immensely rewarding and freeing.

You will be amazed by the depth in this tiny book. In a few hours, you will gain an immense amount of wisdom. Putting the 100 tiny meditations into practice might take a while. We all resist change.

What my husband and I decided to do, was to read the book with a highlighter in hand. First I read the book and marked the ideas I felt were important to me. Now he will read it and mark the sections he feels are important. Then we are going to work on various aspects of our relationship together.

"I've yet to see an instance where becoming more loving wasn't an idea worth considering." ~pg. 16

One of the most important ideas is to commit to being a "kind" person. Some of the other ideas I thought were quite helpful included:

Thinking of what your partner is doing, instead of what he is not doing.

Avoiding the temptation to connect loving praise with things that are bothering you.

Be willing to say "I'm Sorry" and Be willing to Forgive.

Realize that being listened to is a profound human need.

Don't be too serious. Learn to laugh at yourself.

Eliminate defensiveness in your personality.

Don't make people feel like they are constantly disappointing you.

If you are experiencing any frustration in your present relationship, this book will give you fast, easy solutions to changing your own outlook. By applying the principles, you will be amazed at how empowered you will feel when you take charge of your own destiny.

What a beautiful gift to humanity. I can't wait to read the entire "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" series.

~The Rebecca Review

This book is extremely well written and offers invaluable insights on how to grow and evolve as a human being. The applications here are universal, so it would be a valuable asset for anyone who is interested in humbling themselves and looking within and seeing ways to avoid life's constant pitfalls and lead a happier life. Everything discussed in the book is sound in thinking and reasoning, however you might think that putting into practice his teachings are easier said than done. But they're worth giving it a try, since you run the risk of increasing your own level of happiness. This book is extremely easy to read and is broken down into many many tiny chapters (2-3 pages max.)and each chapter has as its title to the subject matter he offers a solution to. I highly recommend it.

I like the tone of the book almost as much as the content. The authors don't use psycho-babble, they approach the topic with a good sense of humor, and they share advice in a friendly and non-threatening way. The emphasis is on growth, not perfection. I immmediately found several areas where I had been getting caught up in self-defeating thoughts without realizing it. This is one book I will turn to first and often.

This cheerful book aims to make us stop and smell--if not roses--whatever is sitting in front of our noses. It is just like the other series of "Don't Sweat" books but with a love-minded twist. It offers meditations designed to make us appreciate our lives, keep our emotions in perspective, and cherish other people. I also highly recommend "Open Your Mind, Open Your Life: A Book of Eastern Wisdom" by Taro Gold. If we all followed the guidance in these books, we would be happier, more harmonious people.

this book has totally changed my life, I think of everything I read in that book everyday. I am way less stressed, and know how to deal with situations now. I am really glad that there are people in this world like Richard Carlson that care enough to help others. I have a whole new perspective on life. Thankyou so much.

The short essays are easy to read and offer friendly down to earth suggestions for maintaining a positive outlook. It doesn't matter if you are married 25 years or in a new relationship the book offers timeless advice that is easy to incorporate into the everyday communication that creates the tone of your relationship. Valuable for all.

In a place of midlife non-crisis, lugging baggage acquired with no regrets (baggage means, after all, that I have dared to live, to love, to risk my neck), I rather shamefacedly purchased this little book. I don't read this sort of... frivolous how-to nonsense, I don't! Why this, then? Small enough to hide inside my jacket pocket, short enough mini-chapters to take in with little disruption to my hurried life? Oh, that might be. But something caught my eye in browsing the pages. There's nothing preachy here. Nothing arrogantly wise. Indeed, in reading it, I experienced no epiphanies. I read the mini-chapters, frequently one to two pages long, between reading more serious stuff. But... I loved it. Really. Simple nuggets of basic good sense. Easily digested reminders of how to readjust my sometimes skewed priorities... and admit it, we all skew. A relatively painless bonk on the noggin from time to time to regain sharper focus on my perspective. Sometimes it is that really simple, common sense wisdom we lose... and this little book got it right again. Call it a tune-up to our human machinery. We could all use it on occasion for a smoother journey. My no regrets baggage felt pleasantly lighter as I added a little bounce to my step forward.

I've read Richard Carlson's other books and really liked them. He knows his stuff when it comes to emotions and helping people keep their cool. I was surprised with this depth and wisdom this book offers. I found it to be a lot more useful than the better known relationship books. Also recommend: The RoMANtic's Guide by Michael Webb and If Love is a Game, These are the Rules by Cherie Carter-Scott