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And I Don't Want to Live This Life: A Mother's Story of Her Daughter's Murder Paperback – September 29, 1996


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And I Don't Want to Live This Life: A Mother's Story of Her Daughter's Murder + Vicious: Too Fast to Live: The Definitive Biography
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 408 pages
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1st Ballantine Books trade ed edition (September 29, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0449911411
  • ISBN-13: 978-0449911419
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 5.5 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (195 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #117,356 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

For most of us, it was just another horrible headline. But for Deborah Spungen, the mother of Nancy, who was stabbed to death at the Chelsea Hotel, it was both a relief and a tragedy. Here is the incredible story of an infant who never stopped screaming, a toddler who attacked people, a teenager addicted to drugs, violence, and easy sex, a daughter completely out of control--who almost destroyed her parents' marriage and the happiness of the rest of her family.

"Honest and moving...Her painful tale is engrossing."

WASHINGTON POST BOOK WORLD


From the Paperback edition.

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Customer Reviews

When I first read this story I honestly had no clue as to who Sid Vicious or Nancy Spungen were.
Michele Durante Meyer
And despite everything that Nancy was, I felt a certain love for her, because I know what it is like to have to deal with uncontrollable emotions.
"-----------_-------------"
This book was so honestly written, the mother writing so truthfully about her love, fear, and worry for her daughter, only to end tragically.
LoLo

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

147 of 158 people found the following review helpful By Chuck Potocki on August 26, 2004
Format: Paperback
Fact-based novels don't come any more raw, honest and emotionally-charged as this one. I've read this countless times, and each time, I'm always left feeling completely drained after I finish it. The incredible pain, sadness and heartbreak that the Spungen family endured throughout Nancy's turbulent and tragic life, even continuing after her death, practically leaps from the pages and overtakes you.

The public only saw one side of Nancy Spungen, the fabricated image of her that was created by sleazy tabloid reporters who traumatized and exploited the Spungen family in their time of grief and loss. It's no secret that Nancy was disturbed and a heroin addict, but what most people fail to see is that underneath it all she was a sensitive human being who unfortunately could not find peace and happiness in life. Whatever fragments of these things she found in her relationship with Sid Vicious were also short-lived, as well as for Sid himself. He, too was searching for something that was missing in his life; he found it in Nancy Spungen and they were drawn together.

In nearly all of the negative reviews posted here (which all are completely undeserved), the reviewers foolishly point to Mrs. Spungen as a "whiny loser" and a "terrible parent"...did you people even READ the book before making such ridiculous comments? What would YOU have done if YOU were in her shoes? Unless you've gone through what she has, you have absolutely NO CLUE and don't know what you're talking about!

Every facet of Nancy's life from begninning to end is laid painfully bare and nothing is held back; with every word, you feel Mrs. Spungen's emotions as if they were your own. Following Nancy's death, Mrs.
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46 of 47 people found the following review helpful By LISA MURPHY on January 6, 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Great book. Really let you find the person behind what Nancy became and what her family went through with her. She was a tragedy waiting to happen which finally did. Must read this book to get the real story. The media never even touched the surface.
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48 of 50 people found the following review helpful By LoLo on November 24, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book was so honestly written, the mother writing so truthfully about her love, fear, and worry for her daughter, only to end tragically. I feel so much for her and her family. Every mother should read this.
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32 of 34 people found the following review helpful By Mozart'sConstanze on June 18, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Nancy was doomed from birth-or so it seems after reading her mother's devastating, pull no punches account of her deeply disturbed daughter's tragically short life. This book is just haunting. I had cousins very similar to Nancy-all from her age group and all now dead from drugs.

How do you help those who refuse to be helped? How do you keep loving someone who attacks you, steals from you, abuses the family, keeps the family under a virtual living Hell-at least until they are of age and you can finally, devastatingly kick them out? And even then they still keep the family under siege-until death parts them. That was Nancy judging from her loving mother's book. That was my long dead cousins too.

The title of the book comes from a poem titled "Nancy" written by none other than Sid Vicious.

This long-lost young man is now in the Rock N' Roll Hall Of Fame along with the rest of the still living, and reluctant Sex Pistols all of whom refused to attend the RNRHOF Induction Ceremonies.

If Nancy wanted to be remembered forever in the sphere of Rock N' Roll-for good or bad she will be. I believe The Sex Pistols will be remembered for all posterity-and Nancy will be too because of her affair with Sid. Those who continue to spit on Nancy's grave (and some even spit on Sid's memory-he was cremated) by making horrible comments about this young woman who has been dead for over 28 years and therefore not here to defend herself-those who show no regard for her family's feelings have all checked their humanity at the door. :(

I highly recommend this book. This is as close to Nancy's side of the story as you are ever likely to get.

The book has some surprizing insight on Sid who some believed to be mildly retarded. He was not.
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54 of 61 people found the following review helpful By Kat Ramone on April 22, 2005
Format: Paperback
Surprisingly enough, I first read an exerpt of this book that was published in a magazine back in the day, 1984, when the book first published. I was surprised to find this book in my daughter's room--she'd just purchased and completed reading it; I decided to read it as well. For the punk rock or informed music crowd, "Sid and Nancy" are synonymous with tragic folklore; for those unfamiliar, here is the basic summary of who "Sid & Nancy" are...they are the punk version of "Romeo and Juliet," they are an infamous couple built and transformed into myth and legend...they have been immortalized in film, books, music, merchandise, and as are most tragic figures, their legacy/legend and story has become larger in death than in thier extremely sad, short lives. Again, in the punk world, "Nancy" is not often mentioned without "Sid," and when "Nancy" is mentioned, rare is the kind word towards her. In fact, in punk circles, she was basically known as "Nauseating Nancy," or "That horrible girl, Nancy..." One will see "Nancy's" image in practically any book about the punk music scene...whether it is a photo, or an unflattering comment; she is usually a minor feature or at least mentioned in any documentary regarding the punk music scene and The Sex Pistols, again, often in quite unflattering terms...A very popular movie was made about "Sid and Nancy," which again, is quite the tragic and unflattering portrait of this individual; one can purchase t-shirts and posters of "Sid and Nancy," who are in effect, the definitive statements of "PUNK ROCK TRAGEDY." I believe it was an important move for Mrs. Spungen, Debbie, to write this book, and provide Nancy Spungen with a background, a history, and a face other than the bleach-blonde, junkie girlfriend of Sid Vicious.Read more ›
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