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When Terrence Real was studying to be a therapist, he accepted the notion that women suffered depression at rates several times that of men. Now he believes that conventional wisdom is wrong, that there has been a great cultural cover-up of depression in men. Real is convinced of the existence of a mental illness that is passed from fathers to sons in the form of rage, workaholism, distanced relationships from loved ones, and self-destructive behaviors ranging from stupid choices at work and in love to drug and alcohol abuse. Men reading I Don't Want to Talk About It will probably recognize themselves in every chapter, while women will recognize their partners--and, of course, both sexes will see their fathers in a new light.
Hidden male depression is the focus of this clear, compelling book by a Massachusetts family psychotherapist who specializes in working with dysfunctional men. Because our culture socializes boys to mask feelings of vulnerability, he says, they bury deep within themselves damaging childhood trauma and its ensuing depressive effects when they become men. This strongly reasoned study starts out with an illustration of the "toxic legacy" that is passed, often for generations, from father to son, with each chapter adding another piece to the complex face. The lucid exposition of ideas is made more vivid through dramatizing. Real uses "composite" cases, so no actual person is depicted except the author himself. One of the most arresting aspects of the book is the autobiographical thread that he weaves throughout. Real's central concern is what he calls covert depression, a pain-filled, inchoate state that may or may not eventually erupt into overt depression. The book is wise beyond its stated scope: in setting up a model for the nature, etiology and treatment of male depression, Real ends up offering-with some gender variants-an almost universal paradigm. BOMC, QPB and One Spirit alternates.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
This is Real's origional, and best, book. I learned a lot about how men think and feel (I'm a woman). Read morePublished 10 days ago by Amazon Customer
I stumbled upon the book seeking answers; I got answers. The book, these men, their stories resonated with me. I would recommend this book to all fathers and sons. Read morePublished 13 days ago by Chrysty Fortner
The most horrifying thing about this book is that there are multiple descriptions of sexual violence against women and children and every one is implicitly if not explicitly... Read morePublished 23 days ago by pistachio
I did not read this. I bought it for a relative. He liked it very much and he is not the self-help book type. Read morePublished 25 days ago by Sunlace23
Very thought provoking analysis of human behavior both male and female.Published 1 month ago by DoctorD
This is an absolute must-read. I would only say that about 5 or so books, but in terms of understanding men, depression, human nature, the role of Western culture in producing male... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Mike Jones
Depression is something that can affect anyone, but, for men, it's usually something they don't want to admit. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Cody
This is a fantastic book that is helping me understand the men in my life and myself. Very insightful and well-written with clear examples and very touching personal stories.Published 1 month ago by Nancy Hernandez