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Didn't "Connect" - Something Missing
on October 5, 2000
My therapist mentioned that I may want to read this book as my husband seems to be suffering from male depression, in an effort to help me understand him better.
As I read it, I just didn't feel like anything "clicked" when it came to my husband and his behaviors. A snippet here, a snippet there ... but in general, the book didn't help me understand him any better.
For instance, when the author discussed different types of father-ing styles, none of the "types" seemed to fit my husband's father. Maybe a little bit of one or two of the styles, but not enough to make me feel that the combination of these "bits" gave any helpful insight or true understanding of his father ... or my husband for that matter. The same held true of the author's thoughts on mothering styles. (which seemed somewhat chauvanist, bordering on misogynistic at times,)
Perhaps, as a woman, I couldn't "see" the things that men would see in this book.
When I spoke to my therapist later about it, he conceded that he had received similar comments from other patients (including men) regarding this book and said that "The Pain Behind the Mask", (another book on male depression) seemed more applicable and helpful.
In general, it made SOME good points, but something important was missing.
I don't reccommend it personally, but that is only personal experience and doesn't mean it wouldn't help someone else.