Customer Reviews

Dr. James Dobson on Parenting

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(17)

 

 

Being a child psychologist, I often come across books that propose to give tips on raising strong-willed children and adolescsnts. Many of these books have been dissappointing. However, Dr. Dobson's book does, indeed, present effective strategies for managing very difficult behavior in these children. This is a well-written and easily understood book for parents who have may be at their wits end with regard to the "what to do's". These behavior management strategies are based in sound reseach and if followed CONSISTENTLY, should result in a better relationship with your children who are having behavior problems. I highly recommend it.

I've read this book as well as other Dobson books. He is on target here. Yes, it is VERY difficult to raise a bright and very stubborn child. Parents must learn to be in control or there will be chaos and the child WILL suffer if the parent doesn't find that control.

When you're a new parent, the advice is "don't spank and don't damage the child's self-esteem". Most children don't need to be corrected with spanking (and spanking is NOT abuse if it is done correctly and not in anger). If the new parent follows the popular advice with a strong-willed child, you'll find yourself controlled by your child and your child will grow up thinking there is no right or wrong (sociopath). My husband who is a psychiatrist and treats ADD/ADHD children on a daily basis recommends this book as well as others.

We have four children [one girl and three boys]. One of our boys was as strong willed as they come. This book saved our sanity and helped shape this son into a responsible christian community leader. He is loved by his community and they know his word can be trusted. All this, and more, from a child who never slept more than twenty minutes at a time [day or night] until he was 2 yrs old. He INSISTED ON DOING THINGS HIS WAY - or not at all. Our doctor recommended the book and we shall forever be grateful. Mrs. B. J. Bennett/First grade teacher [1956 and currently still teaching and loving it all]

I am so amazed that people would criticize this book and others written by Dr. Dobson. Every one has different children and different methods that work. This book tells the truth and gives you a way to feel in control, where a parent should be. Those who criticize obviously have not dealt with a very strong willed child who is young and with a high IQ. It is tough to do without help and understanding what to do, it can be frustrating. A parent who cares about their childs behaviour and the level of respect they grow with will buy this book. Children need to respect and know who is in charge. This is not without a great deal of love and explaining to the child, which this book encourages. Spanking is only for the willful defiance of a child, not for releasing anger out on them. It encourages many other methods and which times to use them. Dr. Dobson writes books that make we want to buy more, I have seen such an improvement in our childs behavior, now that we have taken control and have not given it away to our child.

I think Dr. Dobson is one of the most knowledgeable men out there about child rearing. I think far to often psychologists try to psycho analyze children's behavior so much that they miss the boat entirely, and believe me I worked (in a working environment)with psychologists and social workers for ten years, so I should know. I think Dr. Dobson's ideas are down to earth. Anybody who feels he advocates child abuse is being absolutely ridiculous. Discipline and abuse are two different things. Discipline is setting limits and boundaries which help children to be secure in their environment. I am raising two children a boy and a girl based upon his teachings. My children receive compliments from teachers, family and friends all the time on their helpfulness, courtesy and eagerness to learn. My children are ages 13 and 16 years.

Dr. Dobson, Please accept my appreciation for such a wonderful and helpful book. My son, which is 18 months old, inclined my mother to by this book for me in hopes that the relationship between son and mother would bring us closer together. AND IT HAS! Since my son was born, he had always cried for one reason or another and nothing I did would help. I would literally cry and have a drink at night to calm my nerves from his constant crying and whining. I would tell him to do something and it was like it would "go in one ear and out the other". As you can imagine, this did nothing for my relationship with my husband or my 3 year old daughter. After my mother purchased your book and I made an effort to read it every night, it enlighted me that I was doing the best I could as a parent, it was not me but my "strong willed child". I have literally taken every step you said to take with him and it has helped. My son that was a little monster is now this wonderful little man that has blossomed into a beautiful human being. I'm not saying that we still don't have bad days, however, after taking the steps in your book it has tremendously worked. My husband, friends and even my mother have noticed a change in him. For anyone having problems with their child, I would HIGHLY recommend this reading. Thank you so much, Dr. Dobson, for helping me get my family back and for the guidance that is given as well. Sincerely,

Kathy Martin

Dr. Dobson's main concept - that parents need to be in charge of their children - is right on. If more parents did this we would have less violence and disturbing behavior from our country's children. However, he can be a bit tough, so you have to temper his advice with your own common sense. I'd also recommend: Kid Cooperation (How to Stop Yelling, Nagging and Pleading) by Elizabeth Pantley

Out of curiousity we picked up this book as it was referenced. One of the things that struck me was Dobson relates an encounter with his dog (a dachshund named 'siggie') to illustrate how to maintain/regain control. After reading that, I would not take Mr. Dobson's advice on anything and especially on that involving the gospel, and certainly that of rearing a child. His disgusting display over beating his dog to 'gain the upper hand' and control is simply sick. (Not even one star material except you need it to post a review.)

In this age where too many parents don't have the backbones to stand up to their children, Dobson offers practical advice that encompasses God's teaching that "he that spareth the rod hateth his Son". Even though I fully believe God's advice on the subject, it is easy for my commitment to effective discipline to wear thin with a stubborn child. This book served as an invigorating breath of fresh air for me.

Our "easy" child has just started kindergarten and I am appalled at seeing the results of a society that has come to believe that discipline is child-abuse and that telling a child "no" is a bad thing. These parents think they are showing love for their children, but if they ever saw them in school they would realize just how much they are doing dis-service to their children.

For any Christian, I would recommend that you first read the Bible on the subject of child-rearing and secondly, Mr. Dobson.

My mil bought this book for me for Christmas because we have always respected Dr. Dobson. I was shocked at this book. I have been an educator for over 20 years and raised 3 children and these "tips" infuriated me. There maybe some good advice hidden in there somewhere, but I was unable to continue to read because I was so aggrevated at all the suggestions to whip and inflict pain on your child.

To the reviewer who stated that they had been spanking their child since it was 3 months old, you need to re-read the book. Dr. Dobson himself does not recommend spanking until at least age 15 months and then very sparingly. An infant does not understand a spanking. No wonder she is so quiet, she is scared of getting hit. What you are doing is child abuse.

That being said, I am not anti-spanking. I have spanked my own children. But this book says to use a switch or belt. It also endorses squeezing a child's neck to inflict pain. And as the reviewer who was spanking their three month old proves, any endorsement of spanking can and will be used by ignorant people who will site it as a green light to beat and/or abuse their children.

This is not Christian behaviour. The golden rule says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I wouldn't want someone hitting me with a switch. His methods might get your child to obey you, but not out of respect, only out of fear. I certainly don't want my kids to fear me. Do not buy this book!