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Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like
 
 
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Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like [Paperback]

Rosalind B. Penfold (Author)
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 20, 2006
Rosalind B. Penfold is an appealing, successful thirty-five-year-old businesswoman running her own company when her parents, worried that she works too hard, invite her to a country picnic-party one weekend. There she meets widower Brian and is swept off her feet. Romantic and exuberant, with four loving children, Brian seems like everything a woman could possibly want, and Roz falls deeply in love. But soon Roz begins to notice troubling signs that Brian is not what he seems. A pattern of lies and petty cruelties begins to emerge that, over the course of their decade together, comes to encompass a litany of physical, mental, and sexual abuse appalling in its scope and malevolence. Often too traumatized and ashamed to admit the true extent of what she is experiencing, Roz instead pours her anguish into a series of graphic diaries that provide a touching, profoundly shocking, and completely original portrait of domestic abuse.

An extraordinary visual testimony,Dragonslipperspresents the many warning signs of abuse and offers a frank examination of the psychology of both abusers and victims. Above all, this is the story of a woman who fights for and finds the strength to break free.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this deft, honest work, writer-illustrator Penfold documents how she traveled from successful businesswoman to abused wife and back again. With a simple, naïve drawing style and matter-of-fact tone, Penfold illustrates just how a confident person can be seduced and dominated by another. Her story starts when she meets Brian at a party and he sweeps her off her feet. A widower, he's ready for a full-time woman in his life, and Roz rapidly becomes absorbed into his sphere, sharing outings and devoting her weekends to his four children. But warning bells start ringing even before they leave for their whirlwind wedding in Greece, and his Jekyll and Hyde routine begins almost immediately after. Penfold, a well-adjusted and compassionate woman, is at first confused by his behavior and reluctant to write off her husband as an abusive, possibly schizophrenic, probable alcoholic. She questions herself, and tries harder, sticking around because she feels deeply responsible for his children, even as his behavior becomes ever more erratic and horrifying. Penfold's simplistic art and direct style are nothing fancy, but they still enable her to tell a compelling story—readers will be relieved by the strength she shows to leave this doomed relationship. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Grove Press, Black Cat; 1 edition (March 20, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 080217020X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0802170200
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 7.2 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #802,582 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.8 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow., July 19, 2006
This review is from: Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like (Paperback)
Rosalind B. Penfold, Dragonslippers: This Is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like (Black Cat, 2005)

This is a stunning book.

Rosalind Penfold has created a piece of art that outlines, in the starkest and most blunt terms, domestic abuse. She drew most of it during a ten-year abusive relationship, and drawing in, or just after, the moment lends this book an immediacy, a power that cannot be overstated. Ninety, perhaps ninety-five, percent of it would land it at the top of my year's-best list. Rosalind Penfold's relationship is the stuff nightmares are made of, and she has done a perfect job of translating it into a nightmare that those of us who have thankfully never experienced these horrors can still identify with.

This makes the other five percent of the book-- all of it within the final few pages-- the more puzzling. It is when Penfold is out of the relationship and going through therapy, on the healing journey, where things fall apart. After the brutal, straightforward detail that comprises the bulk of the manuscript, life after the relationship is glossed over at best. Given the target audience, an argument can be made that this is, in fact, the most important section of the book, and it's neglected.

How minor a nit this is to pick depends on how important the reader feels it is that Penfold instruct the abused partner in what to do after getting out of the relationship. While I have to admit that the rather gaping hole in the narrative does nag at me, after mulling it over, it seems to me that the value there is to be found in the rest of the book well outweighs the problems with the end of it. The most important question to ask when judging a book is often "does it effectively get its point across without sacrificing its artistic integrity?" During the depiction of the relationship itself, Penfold succeeds perhaps better than any other writer about abuse ever has. A landmark achievement. It probably won't top my year's-best list, but it's a pretty good chance it will show up in the top ten. **** ½
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Powerful, July 25, 2006
By 
Edward Aycock (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like (Paperback)
"Dragonslippers" is terrifying. I put the book down feeling completely drained and angry. Angry that the author had to endure what she did and angry for the decisions she made and angry that the man seemed to get away with it. But this, as the subtitle suggests, is what an abusive relationship looks like. People don't always extricate themselves from situations when they should, there isn't always a happy ending of redemption and just desserts.

The spare artwork tells the story perfectly, especially in one terrifying moment when Penfold (not her real name) uses a gray wash to illustrate a dinner table blowup; my heart leaped and I wanted to rush into the story and save Penfold and thwart the evil dragon that was her boyfriend Brian. The lesson of this story, of course, is that there were no heroes and Penfold had to rescue herself; it took an impossibly long time but she does end up in a better place.

I have a few minor issues with the book: one is that the font used is rather ugly. I know this sounds silly but it makes the book look like a clinic hand-out rather than a personal tale. Another quibble is that somehow the first meeting between Penfold and Brian is either deleted or was never drawn. Penfold goes to a party, sits by the pool and this big guy (Brian) grabs her and jumps in the pool as she shouts, "You again?!" Again? When was there a before? I kept looking to see if the pages were misnumbered or stuck together but no, the first glimpse of Brian is never included. That's a curious omission.

Penfold's book should be read by everyone and I hope it is read by people in such situations who will recognize themselves and realize they need to do something before it's too late. A-.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Disturbing look at the anatomy of an abusive relationship, March 7, 2007
By 
Greg (Australia) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like (Paperback)
Domestic violence is a deep, subtle and largely hidden problem in society; perhaps effecting 25% of all relationships, domestic violence revolves around various kinds of abuse which occur in an intimate or family relationship, and can occur to both men and women in various kinds of relationships.

This graphic novel explores the experiences of one woman at the hand of an abusive partner. The story begins when the protagonist is in her mid 30's, and is divorced, but is a successful businesswoman. She meets a man, her future husband, who seems exuberant, successful, and full of life. But there is a dark side to him which is progressively revealed as the story moves on; manipulative, impulsive, abusive and rather horrible.

The story moves over a period of several years, as the woman endures constant abuse in various from from her husband including verbal, physical and psychological abuse, marital rape, infidelity, psychological manipulation and countless instances of petty and grand cruelty to the ones who love him. Slowly she comes to realise being with the man she loves is no different from being in hell, and she leaves him and begins the long and slow process of recovery.

This work is a painful insight into the trauma and suffering that abusive partners, like drug addicts or psychopaths, cause harm to everyone around them or connected to them. In the end we see the evident evil at the heart of such abuse, even if in the end we still do not understand what could possibly motivate anyone to be so senselessly cruel and heartless to what is most dear and precious to most healthy-minded people.
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