Customer Reviews

Dragonslippers: This is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like

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Rosalind B. Penfold, Dragonslippers: This Is What an Abusive Relationship Looks Like (Black Cat, 2005)

This is a stunning book.

Rosalind Penfold has created a piece of art that outlines, in the starkest and most blunt terms, domestic abuse. She drew most of it during a ten-year abusive relationship, and drawing in, or just after, the moment lends this book an immediacy, a power that cannot be overstated. Ninety, perhaps ninety-five, percent of it would land it at the top of my year's-best list. Rosalind Penfold's relationship is the stuff nightmares are made of, and she has done a perfect job of translating it into a nightmare that those of us who have thankfully never experienced these horrors can still identify with.

This makes the other five percent of the book-- all of it within the final few pages-- the more puzzling. It is when Penfold is out of the relationship and going through therapy, on the healing journey, where things fall apart. After the brutal, straightforward detail that comprises the bulk of the manuscript, life after the relationship is glossed over at best. Given the target audience, an argument can be made that this is, in fact, the most important section of the book, and it's neglected.

How minor a nit this is to pick depends on how important the reader feels it is that Penfold instruct the abused partner in what to do after getting out of the relationship. While I have to admit that the rather gaping hole in the narrative does nag at me, after mulling it over, it seems to me that the value there is to be found in the rest of the book well outweighs the problems with the end of it. The most important question to ask when judging a book is often "does it effectively get its point across without sacrificing its artistic integrity?" During the depiction of the relationship itself, Penfold succeeds perhaps better than any other writer about abuse ever has. A landmark achievement. It probably won't top my year's-best list, but it's a pretty good chance it will show up in the top ten. **** ½

"Dragonslippers" is terrifying. I put the book down feeling completely drained and angry. Angry that the author had to endure what she did and angry for the decisions she made and angry that the man seemed to get away with it. But this, as the subtitle suggests, is what an abusive relationship looks like. People don't always extricate themselves from situations when they should, there isn't always a happy ending of redemption and just desserts.

The spare artwork tells the story perfectly, especially in one terrifying moment when Penfold (not her real name) uses a gray wash to illustrate a dinner table blowup; my heart leaped and I wanted to rush into the story and save Penfold and thwart the evil dragon that was her boyfriend Brian. The lesson of this story, of course, is that there were no heroes and Penfold had to rescue herself; it took an impossibly long time but she does end up in a better place.

I have a few minor issues with the book: one is that the font used is rather ugly. I know this sounds silly but it makes the book look like a clinic hand-out rather than a personal tale. Another quibble is that somehow the first meeting between Penfold and Brian is either deleted or was never drawn. Penfold goes to a party, sits by the pool and this big guy (Brian) grabs her and jumps in the pool as she shouts, "You again?!" Again? When was there a before? I kept looking to see if the pages were misnumbered or stuck together but no, the first glimpse of Brian is never included. That's a curious omission.

Penfold's book should be read by everyone and I hope it is read by people in such situations who will recognize themselves and realize they need to do something before it's too late. A-.

Domestic violence is a deep, subtle and largely hidden problem in society; perhaps effecting 25% of all relationships, domestic violence revolves around various kinds of abuse which occur in an intimate or family relationship, and can occur to both men and women in various kinds of relationships.

This graphic novel explores the experiences of one woman at the hand of an abusive partner. The story begins when the protagonist is in her mid 30's, and is divorced, but is a successful businesswoman. She meets a man, her future husband, who seems exuberant, successful, and full of life. But there is a dark side to him which is progressively revealed as the story moves on; manipulative, impulsive, abusive and rather horrible.

The story moves over a period of several years, as the woman endures constant abuse in various from from her husband including verbal, physical and psychological abuse, marital rape, infidelity, psychological manipulation and countless instances of petty and grand cruelty to the ones who love him. Slowly she comes to realise being with the man she loves is no different from being in hell, and she leaves him and begins the long and slow process of recovery.

This work is a painful insight into the trauma and suffering that abusive partners, like drug addicts or psychopaths, cause harm to everyone around them or connected to them. In the end we see the evident evil at the heart of such abuse, even if in the end we still do not understand what could possibly motivate anyone to be so senselessly cruel and heartless to what is most dear and precious to most healthy-minded people.

DRAGONSLIPPERS: THIS IS WHAT AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP LOOKS LIKE goes beyond most books to dissolve stereotypes. The author is a competent, middle-aged successful businesswoman and not the meek woman one thinks of as in an abusive relationship. Her romance with a handsome widower seemed idea until a pattern of lies and deception led to physical, mental and sexual abuse. Years later the author shares her story with the world, providing an unusual graphic novel story paired with a pseudonym to protect her identity.

Diane C. Donovan

California Bookwatch

This book should be mandatory reading in high schools. I would love to see it every doctor's and therapist's waiting room. It is simply written with a profound message.

This book was challenging, as it made me question things that I might be tempted to normalise, minimise or completely dismiss. It made me realise that when things feel wrong you need to trust yourself. I think for any woman who is questioning whether or not their partner sometimes crosses the line into abusive behaviour this book will be helpful.

I sound a complete idiot saying this but.... This book helped me save my life. It inspired me to write my own story and when I looked at the abuse I had suffered and was still suffering I never went back! I found the book almost a mirror image of my life and have loaned it to women I have met in the freedom program I attend. I knew my relationship was abuive. I knew I had to get out. This book helped that process by encouraging me to write about it. It is written in a way that it is not lecturing, helping you to make your own judments and decisions. I urge anyone who is in or knows of anyone in an abusive relationship to read it and 'listen.' I found the most important message came at the end when Roz was asked do you think he is a catch? that he has changed?.. I realise now why my ex's wife hated me so much, he had abused her like me and she thought he has changed and I was "better than her"
I was just better at covering up the bruises. Id say worth a read for any one.

The book Dragonslippers is great! It is sort-of-like a picture novel. I read this book as a requirement for one of my college classes, but i actually liked this book. It gets you into the story. I tell all of my friends about it and we compare it to real life relationships

I was a little disappointed when the book arrived and I realized it was all comics. Yet, I found it very powerful because it reached me in a different way than all the words on pages that I've read through the years. Recommended.