After reading David Browne's book, I was left with the impression that all these people who surrounded Jeff Buckley had no idea who he was or how sick he was. He needed help, serious help and everyone -- from people who were friends with him to the record company and management, had no clue how to deal with this person who had a lot of pain and never really dealt with it. The book doesn't mention whether Jeff actually had some therapy done, if anyone pushed for Jeff to get some help, and the book doesn't seem to go into much depth as to who this Jeff Buckley was. There are no indepth readings of his journal, just bits and pieces, fragments.
It's mentioned he reflected everything and everyone around him -- which would happen when one has a loss of self. The book is amiss of what happened to him in Los Angeles -- it's sketchier than Tim Buckley's bio part, which is a surprise, knowing that Jeff's history is more recent than Tim's. I was left with the impression that Jeff was having a nervous breakdown, a serious one, and that no one was equipped or aware enough or cared enough to commit Jeff or do what needed to be done to help him and have him confront his inner demons.
It is said Jeff joked about tortured souls yet the one light this book shed showed that Jeff seemed to follow his father's steps in every chapter. And that his tortured good looks brought about his downfall -- everyone seemed so charmed by him in the book that no one helped him. His physical appearance during the final months screamed help yet no one seemed to be really listening -- not even his lovers, apparently. All we see are people being or getting uncomfortable with him and walking away towards the end, like they could smell death coming and they were too alive to get sucked in. What I also found interesting is that despite Jeff's claim that he did not want to be compared to Tim his father, he was drawn to anyone or anything that was related in some way shape or form to Tim. Jeff would go after it. Jeff never fully grieved for his father and his one outlet, music, was his release. When his music became "work", he started to dry up and his one outlet, his one lifeline, started to choke him.
The picture of his life with his mother was dramatically toned down. Although some of it was written up, there is the fact his mother had some say in this book, which makes me wonder how much was left out. We will never really know. All we have are his own references from various interviews of stuff that happened that he would sort of mention. His childhood, one of constant uprooting (clothes literally thrown into a paper bag for god's sakes!) and shuffling around with various father figures that came and went with a mercurial immature mother was something that would certainly have a lot to do with why Jeff turned out the way he did. Jeff was basically left to raise himself with the knowledge he was basically abandoned by his father who didn't love his mother enough and had deep emotional wounds from both parents that were left unattended and left to fester for years.
I grieve that Jeff never got a chance to have some peace on this earth -- and I'm angry too! This world will miss the talent he had. I don't think Jeff committed suicide out in the Mississippi waters but I can't help but think that if the tide sucked him under, he wasn't going to fight it.
This book taught me some very valuable lessons -- get therapy, grieve til you pass out, and find yourself. Get strong enough to get rid of people or distance yourself from those who only hurt you even if they are your own parents. Make a binding will so that the estate doesn't fall into the wrong hands. And thank your lucky stars if you have people around you who TRULY care. It made me grateful that I was able to forgive my parents for their f-kups. Otherwise, I would've destroyed myself.
This book also brings to mind the mystery of how some manage to triumph over their childhood traumas while others do not. You got old before your time. Rest in peace, Jeff.
