Customer Reviews

Dressing with Dignity

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I read this book a couple of months ago and took on some of the advice of the author. I started wearing dress/skirts more often. Especially to work and when out in public. I took on a new identity so to speak. I felt comfortable that I was getting attention because I looked soft and feminine. People I would see all the time, like at the gas station, grocery store and even friends took notice. Although the employees at the gas station, attendrd on a regular basis, though I was going to alot of funerals until they asked me one day if I got a job or what? I have worked for 20 years in an office setting and they had never noticed me before by the way I was dressed.
This book does offer alot of guide lines to proper attire. I didn't feel the desire to never wear pants again but personally, I think we all need to take it to our own personal level, I feel that these changes have made me feel like the woman God intended me to be. The wife and mother that is an inspiration of why women are so precious.
Last but not least if we just take notice of what is proper attire in the house of our Lord that would be a start. I have given this book to a few young girls that don't think about what they wear to church and I have seen a change and have even been thanked.
Read this book and take from it what you feel you need to make even a small change. See what it does for you. See what it can do for society.

As a woman, I find this book offensive and I threw it away because I was ashamed of having it on my shelves. Jesus had an important place for women in His ministry and life. I believe this book encourages women to act in ways that go against the ways He would have them act.

As a young Catholic woman I find modesty severely lacking in today's society. There are times that I do raise my eyebrows at what I see people wear to church or the latest fashions. But I also find it improper that this author suggests that by putting on dresses, scorning pants, and embracing an apron we please God. Over and over again we are told to look past earthly things and embrace godly things...whether that be money or expensive clothes or jewels. Why does this author think that an apron or dresses would be any different? Why would she encourage woman to look to material items to guide them in their callings and ministries rather than to God? And Joan of Arc dressed like a man wearing pants and armor, you would be more hard-pressed to find a more holy woman.

She then proceeds to start offering weak relationship advice about acting "dreamy" and "helpless" and being pretty for your husband. One, what about nuns? Can you imagine a nun acting dreamy and helpless and mooning around when there is work to be done? Marriage is a vocation too, but both members of that vocation are dedicating it to God. This book seems to almost put the woman's commitment to the man above her commitment to God and the author would have you believe that the only way that you can attract or keep a man is by acting like a ninny.

I dress modestly and I dress up for Mass. My husband even likes that I dress modestly and has complimented me on it. I wear an apron because I love to cook and I find it practical and I love vintage clothes. I also have an advanced degree, work outside the home, don't wear makeup, and read and debate with my husband often and about half the time he concedes and smiles and says, "you are right. You so smart, you constantly challenge me and that is why I love you."

I think the author is wrong to confuse humilty and modesty with needing to act like a nitwit if you happen to be female. I, for one, plan to raise my daughter to respect herself enough to be modest. I also plan to raise her to consider herself a man's equal, different but equal, and to never make the mistake of thinking that she has to change who she is or hide her intelligence to be appealing to anyone. God made her the way He did, I think it would be a sin to try and pretend differently.

Modesty should be about respecting YOURSELF enough to not feel you have to give yourself away and feeling like you have something worth improving. This book has harmful ideas in it...and the writing is awful. Save your money and buy In Search of the Virgin Mary...I find that to be a much better book about a woman's role in the Church.

If you were raised as a so-called Baby Boomer in the 1950's and 1960's as I was, you will remember rules and regulations in public and private schools about appropriate dressing attire. This was also the case at a job. My point is simply this: from my recollection, people behaved better and I, for one, think it had a great deal to do with taking the time to care about the language communicated to oneself and others by what we choose to wrap our bodies in. Wealthy or poor it doesn't matter. Unlike books that you cannot judge by their cover, most people judge others by theirs. This book, from a Catholic point of view, and is most sympathetic to mothers and fathers who are at wits' end with their youngsters virtual invitation for "trouble." And this author brilliantly provides do-able ways you can assist yourself, and others, to basically hold back the night - that comes with the never-ending attempts to corrupt our youth through incomprehensible surrender to forces that lead them ultimately down the wrong road. Of course, the clothes alone are not the core issue. And there are always exceptions. But it is what the clothes represent for the one wearing them, and others seeing them. Please buy this book, especially if you are a Mom or Dad. You will never regret it.

As a mother who has a strong interest in this subject, I have collected various works and quotations about modesty. When I read Mrs. Hammond's book I was shocked to find that it read like a pastiche of many already-published sources, both in print and on the internet. I found entire paragraphs and sentences lifted from a Sports Illustrated article, Mohammed Ali, "Dannah", Ben Wikes (Drawing a Hemline), Fascinating Womanhood , Rita Davidson's "Immodesty: Satan's Virtue", Regina Doman (Modesty and Beauty: the Lost Connection), Alice VonHildebrand (Privilege of Being a Woman) and various copyrighted fashion websites. There are more. Some of these books are referrenced in the bibliography but only as sources of information. Others were not. The end notes have references from books not listed.

Her slight changing of words only hurts the original material of the dozen original writers. If it inspires someone to seek out the original sources then perhaps it has been of some service. Alice Von Hildebrand may have endorsed the book but one must wonder if she knows that she wrote a good part of it! I doubt she would condone such methods if she knew.

It's only a matter of time before Ms Hammond's stolen chickens come home to roost and various authors start to discover their work in someone else's book (entire paragraphs pilfered without quotation marks or credit given).

I bought this book because I share a number of the author's beliefs and I wanted further helpful information. I was disappointed. The guidelines for "dressing with dignity" are there...a short chapter near the back. Most of the book is a treatise on sin. Now, I have nothing against calling a sin a sin, and I'm certainly not for sin, but if I had been looking for a book about sin, I wouldn't have bought a book about modest dressing.

The style and tone of the writing were particularly off-putting. Does nearly every paragraph really need an exclammation point? I was looking for information, not a cheerleader.

I also felt that the author generalized too much. Not every woman has a husband. Not every marriage lives up to Paul's standard of the man loving his wife as Christ loved the church. Women whose lives are not ideal who read this book will feel ignored or even abandoned.

There is useful information there, but it is very limited, and the way the message is presented detracts from it.

I read this book with 3 other friends, and I must thank the author for an amusing time, but besides the comedy nothing else positive was gained by reading it. Before I go any further I must say that, yes, I am a conservative Catholic woman, and I care very much about discovering the most modest and feminine attititude one can attain. However, I did not care for this book for many reasons I will put forth now.

First, the writing style was very poor. The vocabulary was limited (count how many times she uses the word "spunk" or "spunky." The results will be much higher than the length of the book would suggest). The book was also littered with sentance fragements and slang terms. Content besides, this book would not be beneficial for girls from the lack of literary merits alone.

[...]

Many of the ideas put forth in Mrs. Hammond's book are skewed. For example, [...] Mrs. Hammond says in an endnote that since women have the privilage of being mothers, men have the priesthood. This is misleading, because though the highest vocation for a man is the priesthood, the highest vocation for a woman is consecreted virginity, not motherhood.
In another part of the book, Mrs. Hammond talks about the proper role of woman is being the "exact opposite" of a man. Then she lists qualities a woman should possess due to this principle. Two qualities are "charm" and "purity." Correct me if I'm wrong, but are not men also supposed to possess charm and purity? Though men and women's roles are different, they are both called to holiness and supernatural and natural virtue. Why then should a man not possess purity or charm?
Mrs. Hammond's descriptions about the developement of fashion are also incorrect. I believe she says that modern culture is the first time sleeves are worn above the elbow, but this is not true. It was done in ancient times, in medievel times, and in Victorian times by ladies of high repute. All one has to do is look in an encyclopedia to see that.
Another section I thought harmful for girls is the the way "helpless" females are commended, and told they will catch good husbands. I can use my imagination and understand that it might be fun for some men to court a helpless woman, but what man wants a helpless wife? God made woman to be a helpMATE, not helpLESS.
Her suggestions about clothes are sometimes just not practical. Loose flowy clothes might look nice, but they are very difficult to work in, and her cloth suggestions are all hand-wash/dry clean types. It seems it would be better to suggest to girls a realistic, not an idealistic dress code so they do not get the idea that they must always look like a perfect apparition of the Blessed Virgin in order to be feminine.
Last, there are internal contradictions. The author wishes we would go back to the good old days or the corset and bustle (by the way, this does make one ask why it is healthy for a woman to forcibly and unnaturally remold her form in order to look womanly) and show off all her curves as much as possible (which is not very modest, by the way), and then she says a few lines later how a woman should dress modestly in loose clothes so as to not do what is just recommended. Or, she is always praising spunkiness, but then in one section she tells girls to cultiviate a "dreamy and laid-back attititude." First of all, it is impossible to be spunky and dreamy and laid-back at the same time, unless one is schitzophrenic. But besides logical problems, should a girl try to cultivate an attitude that is not hers by nature? Would it not be better for her to try to grow in virtue and self control in order to perfect the personality God gave her?

These are just a few problems I had with this book. I do not think it would be beneficial for girls; I think it would be harmful. I would not want a sister of mine reading it and believing the theories put forth. Modern feminism is wrong, but swinging to the other extreme of objectifying feminimity is not going to solve anything.

Mrs. Hammond's book is just the thing our young women and ladies desperately need today! She charitably and prudently invites us to dress with dignity, to become beautifully modest, and to reap the rich fruits of genuine femininity. The message offered in "Dressing with Dignity" is to key to rediscovering the lost art of being WOMEN...and the secret to reascending to our God-given role in the family and society!

I think this book leads to more division within the Church than is warranted. Many of the arguments presented to support the (rather extreme) notions of the author were very sophistical, and they definitely did not hold up my own experience or the experiences of the men in my life (both the "regular" and "exceptional" varieties). In the end, some people are "swayed" by them, think they're proof for these extreme ideas being the only right ones, and then you get nasty fights among the faithful over stupid, unimportant things. We have much bigger fish to fry, thank you. Don't recommend this one at all - arguments for a more moderate position will sway people to appreciating modesty more reliably, permanently and intelligently.

I am a firm believer in modest dressing, but it seems to me that Mrs. Hammond has missed that point. From the book's beginning to it's end, there are countless problems and imconsistences. Mrs. Hammond tells the reader to look becoming and to flatter one's figure, and then she flips around and says not to draw attention to one's figure. This could be very confusing to the younger girls that would read this! And God puts a strong sentence on those that scandalize the young!
Also, why may I ask, do women need to "put on a nice dress, a fresh coat of mascara and fix their hair.." to get a man to help them? As a Catholic like Mrs. Hammond, I believe that our number one role model for modest dressing is the Blessed Virgin Mother. Can you imagine Our Lady putting on mascara and fixing her hair to get St. Joseph to help her???!! Just because it is the 21st century does not mean us women have the right to "change" and use modern means of making us more beautiful than we naturally are. Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever! WE should take care of our God given bodies and cover them properly, but over emphasis on our appearance is vanity and is not fitting to the woman that desires true Purity of Heart!
Beside the obvious problems with Mrs. Hammond's lack of understanding on true modesty the book, "Dressing With Dignity" contains previously printed material. None of the sources are acknowledged that I can tell, but I am willing to give Mrs. Hammond the benefit of the doubt as I do not know her personally. The excellent book: " Immodestly: Satan's Virtue" by Rita Davidson, was used extensively by Mrs. Hammond. Only Mrs. Hammond somehow saw fit to add her own little twist and therefore she managed to make her book a poor copy of Mrs. Davidson's. This is wrong! Not to mention that it does not speak too highly of Mrs. Hammond's writing abilities.
Perhaps Mrs. Hammond should rethink what God wants from her supposed "efforts" to promote modesty. And further more, I will not support this book until changes are made to it and the author's attitude.
God bless all who read this...

This book answered many questions I had about wearing dresses, like, "WHY?!" and "how", not to mention, "What type?", etc., etc... I have always felt like a true female in a dress. I highly admired those mothers whom I saw wearing dresses at parks, the zoo, the grocery stores, and every day casual events. I could feel their femininity and rarely had any doubt that they were Christian. I often wondered how they could "pull it off". I've often wondered, "Why pull it off?", as well. Dressing with Dignity has the answers I've searched for, and those I never thought to ask.

The book was a very quick read, and I'm a slow reader! I had a hard time putting it down, as it quenched such a thirst for knowledge! I, now, feel prepared to dress my daughters properly and appropriately, and to dress as an example for them. I have also found a wonderful source to back up my resistance to allowing others to buy inappropriate clothing for them, as gifts. I can now counter statements such as, "It's what all the kids are wearing these days."

Amazingly, it even simply answered my questions about wearing makeup. I've often felt torn about this, wanting to wear it to look nice, and because my husband likes a little on me, and wanting to be as God made me. Now, I know it is fine to accentuate the natural beauty God has given me, while not drawing undo attention to myself.

I can, now, gladly dress in a very feminine way, feeling good about myself, bringing out the best in others around me, and feeling stylish, as well. I can set a great example for my daughters, guide them in their attire, and, perhaps, set an example for others around me.

I highly recommend this book!