Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic [Paperback]

Robert Lanham (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 2, 2004

With a gimlet eye and scathingly accurate descriptions, Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic is a hilarious collection of newly classified yet instantly recognizable archetypes sure to enter the mainstream lexicon. From the office TGIF (the overgrown frat boy in the office who always says “party”) to the Lieberal (a Democrat with Republican sympathies), from Uncle Tomatoes (Italians who hate The Sopranos) to Cherohonkees (white Baby Boomers who dress like Native Americans), each profile offers a detailed description of everything from sex appeal and favorite pick-up lines to popular names and habitats. The result is both a brilliant parody and thorough outing of just about every neurosis, attribute, and personality type there is.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Lanham, author of The Hipster Handbook and creator and editor of the Web site www.freewilliamsburg.com, extends his anthropological examination of Americans beyond trendy Brooklyn neighborhoods to the entire country, where Yanknecks ("rebel-flag-waving rednecks who live outside the South"), Sigmund Fruits ("people who insist on telling you about their dreams") and others have existed thus far without being formally studied by "idiosyncrologists" like Lanham and his team. Presented with the authoritative tone of a serious anthropological study, complete with an Idio Rank Scale that assesses the weirdness of each type, many of Lanham’s profiles are hilariously accurate descriptions of co-workers, family members, friends and other acquaintances that almost every American has encountered at some point in their lives. There are the Cornered Rabid Office Workers (CROWs), who "claim to be poets or playwrights" when discussing their work with strangers, "even if they just spent the last nine hours doing data entry on the McFlannery acquisition," and Hexpatriates, Americans who decry everything about America yet never actually leave the country (and who "refer to the Loews multiplex at the mall as ‘the cinema’ and the Motel Six by Hardees as ‘the pensión’"). Illustrations by Jeff Bechtel, depicting the fashion sense of Holidorks (people who wear holiday-themed clothing) and Skants (women with shapely butts who always wear spandex pants), enhance Lanham’s characterizations. Though sometimes overly snarky or clearly just fishing for laughs—surely no Silver Surfers (sexually enthusiastic senior citizens) use the pickup line "So, baby, what HMO plan do you use?"—Lanham’s book offers an amusing overview of some of the quirkier folks that can be found across the country.
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About the Author

Robert Lanham is the author of the bestselling The Hipster Handbook and editor in chief of freewilliamsburg.com. His work has appeared in The New York Times, Playboy, and Time Out New York.

Jeff Bechtel illustrated the bestseller The Hipster Handbook. His art has appeared in many major magazines..

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Plume (November 2, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0452285623
• ISBN-13: 978-0452285620
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #974,437 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Mock Cultural Analysis is Funny and True, December 19, 2004

By 

M. JEFFREY MCMAHON "herculodge" (Torrance, CA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic (Paperback)

Accompanied by hilarious illustrations, Food Court Druids, authored by Robert Lanham, is a mock sendup of scientific analysis of dozens upon dozens of grotesque American specimins that we've all seen in shopping malls, bowling alleys, high schools, the business office, etc. Lanham is a self-proclaimed idiosyncrologist who classifies individuals according the principles of idionyncrology. For example, here are some favorite specimens that are featured under Lanham's magnifying glass:

1. Happy Mondays--overbearing, needy bovine office workers with "overly earnest or maternal natures."
2. Office Lichens--needy geeks who are dead weight at the office and make their co-workers work harder to make-up for their sloth and incompetence.
3. TGIFs--emotionally retarded males who read Maxim and impose their obnoxious, adolescent masculinity on everyone in the office.
4. Alpha Weasels--backstabbing employees who act sycophantic to your face.
5. The Lifer--incompetent nincompoops who, inert in their comfort zone, never change jobs.
6. Sigmund Fruits--narcissists who feel compelled to tell you in detail their dreams as if their nocturnal visions are the most special events to be discussed.

The accompanying illustrations seem to capture the very needy faces we've all seen at the office and elsewhere as we try to navigate around the various annoying specimens rendered in this very funny book.

Finally, let me add that the author includes a website so that readers can contribute their own specimens, a list of which is posted on the website.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a new sociology text for this day and age, October 13, 2005

By 

Nona - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic (Paperback)

SO I found myself a mix of the Hexpatriate and the CROW. Not that this is a bad thing.

Insightful and damn funny! If you own a new Volvo and go jogging with your golden retriever every morning, AND shop at Crate and Barrel, you will be offended. If you smoke American Spirits and chastise people for not buying all organic food, you will be offended. If you use any Tom's of Maine product and wear toe rings, you will be offended. If you can't laugh at yourself, you will be offended.

It is a glorious book.

The illustraor, Jeff Bechtel, is my new hero. His drawings are RIGHT ON.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Amanda D, December 8, 2004

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Amanda D "Amanda D" (Santa Cruz) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic (Paperback)

The weird, long title of this book struck a chord with me and I had to open it up to see more. It's REALLY funny. It classifies idiosyncratic people like Stretchibitionists (desperate women who stretch provocatively at the gym), Hexpatriates (think Susan Sarandon), Cherohonkees (whites obsessed with Native Americans), and my favorite Soccer Lilies (soccer moms with lesbian haircuts). It reads almost like an art book because there are so many great illustrations. I picked up a couple copies for Xmas gifts. I don't know if I was hip enough for the Hipster handbook, but i definitely recommend this really smart, funny book. The part about the freaks at the office is funny too. "Napoledrones" still cracks me up.