The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down: An Informal History of Hospitality [Hardcover]

Jesse Browner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2003

From novelist and gracious host Jesse Browner, a fascinating guide to our real motives for entertaining.

When we think of hospitality- to "give food to eat, beer to drink, grant what is requested, provide for and treat with honor"-we generally like to picture it as a simple expression of generosity. In truth, something far darker and more elemental often lurks behind a host's best intentions.

Partisan, witty, and laced with astonishing historical detail, The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down is dedicated to a new understanding of the art of hospitality. Jesse Browner leads the way back through Western civilization, from a present-day poker game where Browner's devastatingly delicious sandwiches leave the best players penniless, to the ancient Greeks, whose gods punished or exalted the mortals according to their excellence as hosts. On the way, we visit Hitler at his summer home (a staunch vegetarian, he liked to lecture his guests on the horrors of the slaughterhouse); Gertrude Stein (a marvelously successful hostess) in Paris and Lady Ottoline Morrell (a dismal failure) in England; Louis XIV at Versailles (whose opulent feasts and parties were matched only by his regulation of his courtiers' behavior, controlling even who was allowed to sit down); and the Roman emperors (for whom classic dinner-table entertainment was a good poisoning).

As delightful and edifying as an evening in favored company, The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down is a must-read for everyone who's ever accepted an invitation-or wonders why they keep sending them out.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Like an artfully served canap‚, Browner's brief exploration of hospitality may seem light, but has a rich, lingering flavor. He works backward through time, beginning with Adolf Hitler's quirky type of hospitality at his retreat, at which every guest room had a copy of Mein Kampf and French pornography books on the bedside table. From there, novelist Browner (Conglomeros; Turnaway) wanders into the realm of Gertrude Stein, John James Audubon and Louis XIV, whose court witnessed the humiliation of a duchess who wouldn't sit because she was offered a stool instead of a chair. The book also explores Rome's Julio-Claudian dynasty and the rough days of Agamemnon's army. Browner plumbs these historical periods for hospitality anecdotes and finds some pearls, proving the host-and-guest relationship has never been particularly carefree. While directing the conversation, Browner proves an excellent host himself, throwing out delicious bons mots and peppering the work with personal details. Excursions into his daughter's teddy bear teas and his own propensity for weakening his poker buddies' resolve with homemade sandwiches give the book a sense of coherence and smooth charm. By the time he devotes an entire chapter to his family's Thanksgiving dinner, it's easy to see how his analysis of hospitality through the ages has shaped the event. He writes, "When I am a good host, I can order the world precisely as I believe it ought to be." It's no effort to delight in the fact that Browner is also a good storyteller, and the way he orders the world here is an invitation worth answering.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

When it comes to the act of entertaining, there's making do, and then there's doing more. Long held to be the epitome of no-strings selflessness, true hospitality may become an endangered ideal in an increasingly jaded culture. Viewing such cynicism from an erudite historical perspective, Browner asserts that hospitality has always been about satisfying the needs of the host versus the wants of the guest, though such self-indulgence is not meant to be pejorative. From Epicurus to Audubon, Hitler to Huxley, Browner serves up arcane references to support his hypothesis, tracing the roots of contemporary society's angst to ancient Greek rituals, for instance. Throughout, he uncovers the scholarly precepts for the conventions of polite society, citing Nero's egotistical excesses or Gertrude Stein's celebrated salons to illustrate what works and what doesn't when it comes to interpersonal interactions. Lyrically recounting a family gathering shortly after the 9/11 tragedies, Browner's impassioned eloquence and sardonic understatement present a fascinating and factual study of the fine art of being friendly. Carol Haggas
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Bloomsbury USA; 1 edition (October 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1582342970
• ISBN-13: 978-1582342979
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.9 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,596,445 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Remember this book the next party you go to . . ., January 12, 2004

By 

Michael K. Smith (South Louisiana) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down: An Informal History of Hospitality (Hardcover)

If asked to define the essential duty of a host, most of us probably would agree with the ancient Akkadians: "Give food to eat, beer to drink, grant what is requested, provide for and treat with honor." Well, the author shows that it's much more complex than that. Who's in charge? The guest or the host? (Well, who decides the dinner menu, who sits where, etc?) Do you invite only friends to a party? Or do you go with the original Greek meeting of "hospitality" and welcome strangers to your home? Browner also makes a convincingly case that for a ruler, like Hitler or Louis XIV, hospitality is a manipulative tool of state policy. He claims not to be an historian, but his grasp of the past is quite solid, and his witty, felicitous style makes for a pleasureable and entertaining read. The chapter comparing Lady Ottoline Morell and Gertrude Stein -- the former a nearly complete failure as a hostess, the latter a considerable success -- is especially good, as is his discussion of what he describes as the historical antithesis of hospitality: the German takeover of the Roman Empire.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars You'll Never Look at a Dinner party the Same, January 10, 2004

By 

Robert Slocum (STAMFORD, CT USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down: An Informal History of Hospitality (Hardcover)

Have you ever thought about what a two-way street hospitality is? How the host gets a benefit, too? Has it occurred to you how hospitality marks civilization's progress, how impossible travel would have been without it, in the days when there were no motels or inns? Probably not, but Jesse Browner has pondered these things, and he has written a thoughtful, eclectic recap.

The title refers not to a doting hostess, but rather to the ludicrous protocol in the French court at the time of Louis XIV. Browner's historical sorties can grow ever so slightly tedious, but they all have their lessons. Long before "Lives of the Rich and Famous," Louis created a cult of celebrity that makes our current breed of gossip column inhabitants look positively reclusive by comparison. His political enemies were completely distracted by the complicated and petty games they had to play to gain favor in the court. Louis paid the price of spending every moment on display.

Hitler, Gertrude Stein, Caligula-they're all here, and as you learn how each treated his or her dinner companions, you gain a newfound sense of what hospitality is. Hitler was gracious and boring. (An edgier title for the book might have been The Vegetarian and Animal Rights Pioneer Who Was a Genocidal Maniac.) Stein's inflated ego led to a very proactive style, which succeeded very well in her circle of artists and writers. The Roman emperors who followed Julius Caesar were jaw-droppingly brutal and decadent. Typically Browner reports his often bizarre stories in a lively style, and then ends his chapters with perceptive insights.

One of his comments in introducing his bibliography is very telling: "I have tried, wherever possible, to stick to primary source material, which I have read with the eye of a novelist, seeking out character and story." Browner's is a very personal and candid approach, which may be too impressionistic for some. But the topic of hospitality touches us all, and this book gave me a much more careful point of view on the matter.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Witty, charming, informative, November 16, 2003

By 

Lynn Harnett (Marathon, FL USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Duchess Who Wouldn't Sit Down: An Informal History of Hospitality (Hardcover)

From the ulterior designs behind his own modern poker refreshments to Nero's dubious habit of poisoning dinner guests, Browner's succinct and lively history of Western hospitality delights as it informs.

Novelist Browner ("Conglomeros," "Turnaway") loves to entertain and suffers from the insecurities and appetite for praise of hosts everywhere. But few hosts have the wit and knowledge to explore the subject analytically - as universal power play, manipulation, social arbiter, and occasion of fear.

Browner proceeds back in time through Hitler, the Renaissance courts of Europe, the Dark Ages, the Romans and Petronius' "Satyricon," and the Greeks' kindness to strangers, and ends with a poignant, personal meditation on his family's Thanksgiving.

Each chapter is a small feast of historical detail, anecdotally presented and peppery with humor, opinion and personal identification. Against the forbidding, sumptuous settings of despots and kings, we imbibe personal foibles, like Hitler's dyspeptic asceticism ("His tastes in food hovered somewhere between the mundane and the revolting"), and Louis XIV's adroit humiliations (the duchess who preferred to stand than accept a stool).

He reveals the personalities behind the successes of Gertrude Stein and Audubon ("confidence and hubris") and their failed counterparts. His chapter on the Dark Ages - its incivility attributable completely to the Germans' uncouth disregard for any but drunken hospitality - is a savage delight.

Two portraits of men behind the thrones - Olivier de la Marche who proudly arranged parties for the ambitious Duke of Burgundy, and Petronius, who orchestrated Nero's excesses, while secretly penning the "Satyricon" poking fun at it all - take us behind the scenes to muse on the motivations of those who stand and watch. And then there are the Greeks, whose generosity to strangers was compelled by fear of divine retribution.

Browner's personal engagement and breadth of knowledge combines fortuitously with his natural storytelling ability and effortless prose style, like the consummate host who makes it all look easy. For those who want more, he appends a chapter-by-chapter bibliography. A well-nigh perfect blend of erudition and entertainment.