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Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents As They Grow Old
 
 
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Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents As They Grow Old [Paperback]

Jean Gould (Editor)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 6, 1999
These first-person accounts portray, with thoughtfulness and clarity, a wide range of caregiver experiences: the possibility of deepening relationships; the opportunity for forgiveness; the ability to reach out and to look within to find strength; the sorrow of watching a parent grow old; and the chance to say goodbye.

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Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents As They Grow Old + Caring for Yourself While Caring for Your Aging Parents, Third Edition: How to Help, How to Survive + The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent
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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Edited by poet and essayist Gould (Season of Adventure), this unusual book of first-person essays by women writers is timely and engaging. Appearing just as policymakers reassess Medicare and Social Security, it documents the private side of aging and caregiving. Each of the 22 stories told here is different: some contributors tell of how caring for their aging parents deepened their relationships or afforded opportunities for late-life forgiveness; others explore loss and sorrow. As a result, this is a wonderfully varied exploration of the complicated emotional and spiritual issues that emerge for both parents and daughters as their bodies and relationships age. It will likely be read by aging parents and their caregiving children alike. Very highly recommended for all public libraries.AKay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

An eclectic and evocative collection of first-person narratives by women who serve as the primary caretakers of their elderly parents. Gould, a visiting scholar in Women's Studies at Northeastern University, has collected 22 moving and provocative essays examining the many emotions felt by those caring for aging parents. From the diversity of voices and experiences, a number of common themes emerge. Among them is the healing that can occur between daughter and parent as the roles of dependency are reversed. While caring for her aging father, Patricia A. Gozemba establishes a newly deepened comradeship upon discovering that he had never shared her mother's antipathy toward her lesbianism. ``Stunned by my father's passive declaration of support,'' she writes, ``I felt vindicated, stupid, infantile and relieved.'' Marion Freyer Wolff, too, eventually replaces anger toward her father with forgiveness when, gazing into his sorrowful eyes, she recalls his many losses ranging from family members who were murdered during the Holocaust to his older daughter's recent death. These stories also attest to the unexpected discoveries that a daughter caring for a parent may chance upon. In her story ``The Minyan Connection,'' Sheila Golburgh Johnson describes how she rediscovers Judaismafter years of fleeing any connection to her faith or peopleby joining her father's Saturday morning prayer service after his death. Also included in this collection are accounts of lives that linger on for too long. In ``The Promise,'' Diane Reed describes her desperate, often futile attempts to help her 86-year-old mother die once life had become intolerable. And in ``Mother May Be the Death of Me,'' Martha Baker laments her overbearing mother's survival, since it means that she can continue to ``make the lives of all four of her daughters a living hell.'' Concluding with resources from organizations, and Web sites to books, Dutiful Daughters provides a powerful, intimate overview of circumstances likely to touch many of our lives. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 310 pages
  • Publisher: Seal Press; 1 edition (September 6, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1580050263
  • ISBN-13: 978-1580050265
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #980,630 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I was born premature. That was the end of my precociousness. Mostly, I have spent my life trying to find quiet jobs that allow some psychological space where I can write in my head as I work. I've worked on a ranch, in a candy factory (Russell Stover), in retail stores selling shoes. I've built furniture, cooked for a gourmet catering service in NYC, cooked, also, in a weird little cafe run by a reverend healer who cured people's ailments with a pendulum and herbs. I was an aide on a locked psych ward, a tenured college professor, a graphic artist, a UPS driver, and now and again I still work as a professional brainstormer for branding companies. I was extremely grateful for the chance to go to college (it was never a given), but I also feel that these life experiences inform my writing as much as any class ever has. The publishing editor of one of my books told me I wrote like I was raised by wolves. I try to live up to that daily.

Along with the books listed here, you can read my work in many magazines, including, Orion Magazine, Spirituality and Health, Three Coyotes, Yoga International, The Body-Soul Connection, Fourth River, Hawk and Handsaw, and many others.

I'm grateful to these fellowships and Residencies:
Mary Roberts-Rinehart National Fellowship
Ucross Foundation
Colorado Council on the Arts Literature Fellowship
Colorado Art Ranch
Atlantic Center for the Arts
and others.


 

Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
5 star:
 (6)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars One of those dutiful daughters ..., December 20, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents As They Grow Old (Paperback)
I wrote one of the pieces in this book about my own mother, and her death. It was cathartic and helpful to write it, but I can still not read it through without shedding tears. While your aging parents are alive and a burden, it is sometimes difficult to be patient, and to savor the last of their life with them. Aging is difficult to bear for both parties. Your parent becomes your child. Reading this marvelous, rich book will help you know what a fortunate thing it is to be able to offer your love and your support to those who gave you life. I was lucky to have my "story" included in this wonderful book.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for those caring for elders, November 29, 1999
By 
Jen Smith (Somerville, MA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents As They Grow Old (Paperback)
A friend of a freind of a friend passed this book to me. I was so pleasantly surprised. The book is not just for those who are caring for elder parents or grandparents. It is beautiful literature. The story called Margie's Discount was beautifully written, insightful, and moving. (This is the second thing I have read by BK Loren, but cannot find a book by this author.) Though it was so different, I also liked To Kill A Deer. It was funny and sad and right on target about parents. I recommend this book as general reading. I do not have aging parents, but if I did, I would think this book would be essential. I think it is essential already, as just the stories are beautifully told.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A very much appreciated publication for many circumstances., November 8, 1999
This review is from: Dutiful Daughters: Caring for Our Parents As They Grow Old (Paperback)
We have read this book and find it suitable for future, present and past experiences. An excellent reading for those still healing from the care of elderly relatives.
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By the time I found where the gun was-hidden under a plastic produce sack-Mom was clamoring through the bedroom door, grabbing for the gun and hitting me. Read the first page
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