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Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide [Paperback]

Beverly Cobain , Jean Larch
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)

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Book Description

February 1, 2006

Honest, gentle advice for those who have survived an unspeakable loss—the suicide of a loved one.

Transforming suffering into strength, misconceptions into understanding, and shame into dignity, Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch break through the dangerous silence and stigma surrounding suicide to bring readers this much-needed book. Cobain’s achingly honest account of dealing with the suicide of a loved one, along with personal stories from others who experienced this profound loss, provide powerful insight into the confusion, fear, and guilt family members experience. A chapter about “the suicidal mind” helps families not only comprehend the depth of their loved one’s pain prior to suicide, but also understand why such desperation is so difficult to recognize—even in the closest relationships. By sharing survivor stories as well as the latest thinking and statistics about suicide, Cobain and Larch break through myths, misinformation, and misunderstandings. The result is a book of extraordinary compassion and steadfast guidance for anyone awash in the aftermath of unfathomable loss.

"This frank book about suicide is a giant step toward bringing another form of mental illness out of the closet."
— Mindy Greiling, Minnesota State Representative and National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) National Board of Directors

"This book is a masterpiece for the survivors of suicide and those who care about them."
— David Satcher, M.D., Ph.D., 16th U.S. Surgeon General and Interim President of Morehouse School of Medicine


Frequently Bought Together

Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide + No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One + Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide
Price for all three: $37.55

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Beverly Cobain is a registered nurse, with certification in Psychiatric/Mental Health nursing. She is a survivor of three family suicides, including that of Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of the band Nirvana, who killed himself in 1994. Kurt's death led Bev to write the acclaimed book, When Nothing Matters Anymore..A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens, (Free Spirit Publishing, Minneapolis, MN, 1998), and to become a national speaker on the topics of depression and suicide. Bev resides in Costa Rica with her German Shepherd, Tosh.

Jean Larch, SWT, for the past two decades, has followed her passion at Macomb County Crisis Center as a Crisis Intervention Specialist, working closely with suicidal individuals and family members who have survived the loss of a loved one due to suicide. She has developed an acclaimed workshop on the subject of the suicidal mind, which continues to benefit both survivors and professionals. She trains mental health professionals on various aspects of suicide. She lives with her husband Mark in Michigan.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (February 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1592853293
  • ISBN-13: 978-1592853298
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.4 x 7.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #41,275 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Authors

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Customer Reviews

Strongly recommend this book to anyone who has lost someone to suicide. Tessa Murray  |  23 reviewers made a similar statement
I read this book over the weekend and I thought it was wonderful! J. Rogers  |  16 reviewers made a similar statement
This book will not take away the pain we are feeling, but it has helped us to deal with it. Debbie D. Jason's Mom  |  11 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
31 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars must have for survivors September 19, 2006
Format:Paperback
I am so thankful that I found this book! My Husband, a vibrant, successful, hansome United States Marine took his own life a year and a half ago. How could someone who had so much to live for do such a thing? How could he leave us? What was he thinking? Why didn't I see it coming? In a desperate search for answers I read, talked, and listened. When I read Dying To Be Free, Many Of my questions were answered and I began my path of healing. This simple concise book helped me understand how my husband got to the point where suicide seemed like the ONLY option. The authors do an excellent job of tying together their own experiences with many other survivors and family members to find commonalities which help us to understand what went wrong.

I highly reccomend this book to anyone who is struggling with the "why" of suicide.
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26 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book! February 27, 2006
Format:Paperback
I read this book over the weekend and I thought it was wonderful! It is everything that someone would need to know if they had experienced losing someone to suicide or even knew someone who had lost someone to suicide. It is simple to understand yet so full of information. So many books I have read on suicide are full of information but use language that is too psychological for anyone not in the field to truly understand. I will definitely be recommending this book to any future clients of mine who need it. My favorite part of the book though was the way that the authors describe survivor grief. I have never read it described so perfectly. Anyone who was reading this book after experiencing a suicide would finally be able to realize that the way they are feeling is normal. And anyone who didn't understand how someone was feeling would be able to understand what his or her friend/family member is going through. And I loved all of the survivor stories the authors used throughout the book, especially at the end (so inspirational!). Seriously, this is a great book and I would highly recommend it.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful May 11, 2011
By MAC
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
My very smart, gentle, son killed himself last month. He seemed happy as could be and out of the blue we found a note saying he had been unhappy for a long time and couldn't go on any longer. He apologized for the pain he knew it was going to cause, but said nothing meant anything to him anymore. He was graduating from college in a few weeks.

The PAIN I have felt is way beyond anything anyone can imagine. It plain HURTS to wake up in the morning. At the advice of a support group, I got this book and it is very good. It really helped me understand how he got sucked into such an awful place. It helped me understand that it wasn't my lack of love or lack of anything....it was all going on in him. Suicidal individuals are very good at hiding their intentions. My son was. We had no clue, we thought he was on top of the world. Because of that we are having a terrible time reconciling what we thought was going on with our son and how his life ended.

This book will not bring your loved one back, but it will help to ease the searing pain in your heart.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful and initiated healing
This was the first book I read after my brother's suicide. I could not have picked a better first book to read about this kind of loss. Read more
Published 1 month ago by coloradostevie
5.0 out of 5 stars Dying to be Free
Bought this for a friend who lost a child from suicide. His wife had heard of Beverly Cobain so this book was very special.
Published 2 months ago by Diane M. Rogers
4.0 out of 5 stars helped me a lot
I bought this book after my friend committed suicide. It was comforting to know that I wasn't the only one who went through something like that. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Nicole M. Horton
5.0 out of 5 stars A big help
After the death of our daughter we were left wondering WHY? This book put some of our questions into perspective while assuring us that we will never know the answers to many of... Read more
Published 2 months ago by karen
2.0 out of 5 stars Confusing and misleading title to a simple book
This is a basic primer about suicide but in no way is it "a healing guide for families after suicide". Read more
Published 2 months ago by Kenneth B. Huggins
5.0 out of 5 stars Last one I read out of many bought!!
If you find your self in the horrible situation of dealing with the suicide of a loved one, do yourself a favor and read this book first.
I bought many books. Read more
Published 3 months ago by LYNN M. GROTKE
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful for suffering survivors
I read this book to help me understand what my sister was going through when her much-loved oldest child committed suicide on September 18, 2012. Read more
Published 3 months ago by estelle
5.0 out of 5 stars Recently suffered the lost of my 23 year old son.
I ordered this book with the hope that I could find some kind of answers, and it gave my a lot more knowledge and inner peace. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Jmz
5.0 out of 5 stars Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide
Excellent resource for helping to understand what might have been going on in the mind of someone who commits suicide. Read more
Published 6 months ago by sadkat
5.0 out of 5 stars Dying to be free
If there is a suicide every 14.2 minutes, then there are 6 new survivors every 14.2 minutes. I am one of those survivors! Read more
Published 6 months ago by Barbara Rubel
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