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Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide Paperback – February 1, 2006


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Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide + No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One + Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (February 1, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1592853293
  • ISBN-13: 978-1592853298
  • Product Dimensions: 7.3 x 5.2 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (75 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #43,657 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Beverly Cobain is a registered nurse, with certification in Psychiatric/Mental Health nursing. She is a survivor of three family suicides, including that of Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of the band Nirvana, who killed himself in 1994. Kurt's death led Bev to write the acclaimed book, When Nothing Matters Anymore..A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens, (Free Spirit Publishing, Minneapolis, MN, 1998), and to become a national speaker on the topics of depression and suicide. Bev resides in Costa Rica with her German Shepherd, Tosh.

Jean Larch, SWT, for the past two decades, has followed her passion at Macomb County Crisis Center as a Crisis Intervention Specialist, working closely with suicidal individuals and family members who have survived the loss of a loved one due to suicide. She has developed an acclaimed workshop on the subject of the suicidal mind, which continues to benefit both survivors and professionals. She trains mental health professionals on various aspects of suicide. She lives with her husband Mark in Michigan.

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Customer Reviews

This book has so much excellent information.
Andi
Strongly recommend this book to anyone who has lost someone to suicide.
Tessa Murray
I read this book over the weekend and I thought it was wonderful!
J. Rogers

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 31 people found the following review helpful By J. Rogers on February 27, 2006
Format: Paperback
I read this book over the weekend and I thought it was wonderful! It is everything that someone would need to know if they had experienced losing someone to suicide or even knew someone who had lost someone to suicide. It is simple to understand yet so full of information. So many books I have read on suicide are full of information but use language that is too psychological for anyone not in the field to truly understand. I will definitely be recommending this book to any future clients of mine who need it. My favorite part of the book though was the way that the authors describe survivor grief. I have never read it described so perfectly. Anyone who was reading this book after experiencing a suicide would finally be able to realize that the way they are feeling is normal. And anyone who didn't understand how someone was feeling would be able to understand what his or her friend/family member is going through. And I loved all of the survivor stories the authors used throughout the book, especially at the end (so inspirational!). Seriously, this is a great book and I would highly recommend it.
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36 of 38 people found the following review helpful By Kimberly Ruocco on September 19, 2006
Format: Paperback
I am so thankful that I found this book! My Husband, a vibrant, successful, hansome United States Marine took his own life a year and a half ago. How could someone who had so much to live for do such a thing? How could he leave us? What was he thinking? Why didn't I see it coming? In a desperate search for answers I read, talked, and listened. When I read Dying To Be Free, Many Of my questions were answered and I began my path of healing. This simple concise book helped me understand how my husband got to the point where suicide seemed like the ONLY option. The authors do an excellent job of tying together their own experiences with many other survivors and family members to find commonalities which help us to understand what went wrong.

I highly reccomend this book to anyone who is struggling with the "why" of suicide.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Debbie D. Jason's Mom on April 5, 2006
Format: Paperback
This book has helped us to understand, as much as possible, what our son's mind was like when he died from suicide. My husband and I read the book when it first came out and found that we were reading about our son! We could totaly relate to the information given. Our son died in Oct. 2005. This book will not take away the pain we are feeling, but it has helped us to deal with it. I highly recommend the book!
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By estelle on January 20, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
I read this book to help me understand what my sister was going through when her much-loved oldest child committed suicide on September 18, 2012. The chapter on "The Tunnel" seemed to me like such a helpful explanation of HOW he could have gone through with such an unthinkable act, but I hesitated to share it with my sister. I didn't want to give her anything that could even possibly increase her suffering, so I debated sharing it. Finally, three months after my nephew's death, my sister mentioned how she would cry when she was alone in the car, still want to know how he could do such a thing. To her, as it must to so many survivors, suicide feels like a horrible slap in the face, a message that even our love was not enough for him to live for. Survivors can question why a person would cause such suffering for family and friends who are left behind. I think the section on the tunnel really helps to answer that question. I really recommend this book for that chapter alone.

As far as the warning signs, which at least one person seemed to feel just increased their guilt, I hope survivors notice that the author points out that the signs fit many, many people who would never consider committing suicide. The one warning sign that really stood out to me, though, is the one that Beverly says is the strongest indicator - previous suicide attempts. My nephew had attempted suicide one time that my sister knew about, and she asked him to drop out of graduate school and come back home. She hoped he would stay for several months but he insisted on returning after just about two months. It wasn't until after his death that she learned that he had survived at least one other attempt. Her son had only told his stepbrother about that attempt, and had made the stepbrother commit to secrecy.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Richard D. Werner on May 13, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This would be a good book for those that do not have any indication that there might be a family member or friend who is near committing suicide and a very good book for those who have had someone close to them do suicide. "Dying to be Free" is very informative and easy to read book. It will be a help to all.

RICHARD
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12 of 14 people found the following review helpful By MAC on May 11, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My very smart, gentle, son killed himself last month. He seemed happy as could be and out of the blue we found a note saying he had been unhappy for a long time and couldn't go on any longer. He apologized for the pain he knew it was going to cause, but said nothing meant anything to him anymore. He was graduating from college in a few weeks.

The PAIN I have felt is way beyond anything anyone can imagine. It plain HURTS to wake up in the morning. At the advice of a support group, I got this book and it is very good. It really helped me understand how he got sucked into such an awful place. It helped me understand that it wasn't my lack of love or lack of anything....it was all going on in him. Suicidal individuals are very good at hiding their intentions. My son was. We had no clue, we thought he was on top of the world. Because of that we are having a terrible time reconciling what we thought was going on with our son and how his life ended.

This book will not bring your loved one back, but it will help to ease the searing pain in your heart.
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