Customer Reviews

Dying to Get Married: The Courtship and Murder of Julia Miller Bulloch

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Please know that I completely disagree with the previous review. I found that this well researched, insightful recounting of the Miller-Bulloch murder haunted me long after I read it. Even the mere thought of poor Julia Miller Bulloch and the horrendous fate that befell her can still move me to tears.

Having read hundreds of true crime books, rarely have I been more grief stricken for the victim than I was for this poor woman. Harris really brought Julie to life for me, as if I had known her and mourned her along with the family and friends who deeply felt the loss of such a wonderful person who didn't in any way deserve what happened to her. I also found myself wishing I was there to give her poor brother a hug--his own life was so destroyed by the murder of his beloved sister.

A classic "good girl," Julie was a devoted daughter to her aging parents, so much so that she sacrificed many of her dating years attending to them in their illnesses. Once both passed away, she found that the world had somewhat passed her by as well. Trying to make up for lost time, naive Julie placed an innocently worded ad for companionship in a personals column--for someone as inexperienced and conservative as Julie, it must have been such a bold and risky thing for her to summon the nerve to do.

Unfortunately, had the Devil himself answered, she couldn't have found any worse man than Dennis Bulloch. To say that you will learn to LOATHE this man is an understatement. Although handsome, well dressed, and an exec with a Fortune 500 company, Dennis as a person is a complete monster. He verbally and physically abused his first wife, he was unfaithful to any and every woman he was ever involved with, he lied constantly, he helped himself to any worldly goods he could get his hands on, even thought he hadn't done a thing to earn them, and treated his own parents like dirt, denying their existence and humble roots in favor of pretending to be a well-to-do "great catch" for many a debutante.

Dennis ultimately married Julie only for her money, tricking her into giving him access to her accounts and possessions, cruelly abandoning her at critical times, and driving her to the brink of insanity. His greed becomes so intense that he devises the perfect plot. Sneaking back from a business trip, Bulloch suffocates her, sets the scene to appear that the sexual bondage activity Julie apparently engaged in while he was out of town on business went terribly awry, and set her on fire before he makes his getaway. Stealthily slipping back onto the plane and into his hotel, he hopes no one will be the wiser! Not only did he destroy an innocent person in an unspeakably evil way, but he tried to also destroy her reputation after her death, causing her brother and friends even more heartache.

It is terribly disheartening that someone this reprehensible is even real, yet tragically he is. Even more tragically, he crossed paths with someone like Julie when what he really deserved was a date with Aileen Wuornos, the axe murderess! If there were true justice in this world, a mob would have tortured Dennis Bulloch and lynched him to death.

Instead, thanks to the talent of an excellent attorney, Bulloch spent less than 15 years behind bars. I keep wondering if Attorney Arthur Margulis is haunted by the thought that he helped such a despicable criminal nearly get away with one of the worst murders I have ever read about. Portrayed as a very honorable man of good character, Margulis in his heart of hearts must wish a lesser man had defended his client. No "win" in court could have felt good if it was for a client like this one. On the plus side, at least he did not get away entirely.

A truly fascinating read about a case that I, for one, hope we never see the like of again! I am equally hopeful that Dennis Bulloch never has another chance to do this to someone else out there.

Which in this case would refer to the silk neckties that Dennis Bulloch sent to one of his girlfriends for later bondage hi-jinks. The book is DYING TO GET MARRIED (DTGM) by Ellen Harris, which details Bulloch's murder of Julie Miller, his bride of 10 weeks.
Harris' book presents an infuriating story of a man who basically gets away with murder.
Bulloch was a greedy, social climbing, narcissistic sociopath raised in blue-collar Arnold, Missouri, who was ashamed of his parents and his roots and longed to "reach his full potential" though he had no real idea of what, if anything, that consisted. Bulloch had no real personality at all and so was mainly an assortment of facades designed to ingratiate himself with those he encountered in the various situations - ski trips and country club dances with rich, idle young St. Louisans, Young Republican Club affairs, Art Museum parties - he found so important. He was suave, intelligent, well mannered, and had a good job; but like most sociopaths, he thought he was smarter than he really was and didn't understand that the people whose substance he imitated soon learned that he was basically a shell lacking that same substance.
Bulloch was also a womanizer with a bondage fetish who could play a variety of roles to endear himself to women according to their needs, and in 1986 he found a perfect victim in Julie Miller, a pretty, eager-to-please, socially inexperienced, well-off, lonely, and mentally ill 33 year old woman who had placed a personal ad in a local newspaper. All Miller wanted was a healthy relationship - someone who would love her and whom she could love.
And Bulloch, being totally into controlling his women and lusting for access to other people's money, saw Miller, for whom he really - again in typical sociopathic fashion - had no feelings, as an easy score. Bulloch told almost nobody about their private marriage, didn't pose for wedding pictures, stayed gone from Miller's house where he had moved in - for days at a time, and continued his other sexual relationships. He was VERY careful, however, to have his name added to all of Julie's insurance policies, bank accounts, stock portfolio, and so on. I will not further detail the plot, which is fascinating, but will say that reading about Bulloch's murder trial is infuriating and that Harris, who covered the case for the old St. Louis Globe-Democrat, wrote this book partly out of her frustrations about the trial and its verdicts.

DTGM is a well and intelligently written, fast paced fascinating story of a sad woman who gets tangled up with a despicable sleazebag. Regular readers of true crime know that forensic reports, police investigations, and trials can be quite boring, but they are not in this book. Harris includes the forensics and police work necessary to make the story understandable, and the trials are handled economically, presenting in interesting detail what's important, but thankfully no more than that.
But where Harris really shines is in her research and presentation of the lives and psyches of Bulloch and Miller. The book is just full of personal information about them giving the reader a real in-depth look at what created them and who they became.
Some examples:
"Like the proud parent of a long-awaited first-born, Dennis recorded every facet of his own life. He rhapsodized over his every "feeling" in his voluminous diaries, of the type novelists do not even think about and even mooney-eyed teenagers call `yucky'."
And, "A professional familiar with the case said that (changing personalities to fit their situations) is typical behavior of narcissists and psychopaths. 'Lacking a solid identity, Dennis finds it easy to go through life taking on new roles, preferably ones with clear-cut rules,' the expert explained. 'It's as though Dennis thinks, "Whoops, Julie's dead, now I play Fugitive. Now I'm caught and I'll play Model Prisoner. In the courtroom, I'll play another role yet."' Dennis's future appearance would be a dramatic shift away from his prior roles of Romantic Outlaw, New Sensitive Man, Price Waterhouse Man. This new image would be nourished by Dennis's well of self-pity."

Harris has done a great job with DTGM. I could not put it down and I highly recommend it to all true crime fans, especially those to whom psychological information about the principals is important.

It has been years since I have read this book. But, it was one of the most accurate in details. In fact, the only changes by the author were the names of the family members. I lived in St. Louis at the time and was friends with one of Julia's relatives.
I know the details, and Ms Harris was right on!!!

The book "Dying to Get Married" was, in my opinion, pretty good. I liked it, but I didn't love it. It's better than a lot of other true crime books out there that I've read. I think it's more the topic than the author's writing that makes me give it a lower rating. It is well written, fast-paced, and easy to read. I would recommend this one as it's clearly better than average. This one is not a keeper. I just don't like it when the the killer gets off easy. I know it's not the author's fault. Just my opinion.

I don't usually read crime books, true or otherwise. I bought this one because I was trying to convince a young relative that dating through "Match.com" and other dating services, could be very dangerous. I told her of this story, then bought the book for her. -- I read it also.

Those of us who lived in St. Louis at the time of this murder,
got the basics from the newspaper, but this book filled in the
facts that a family newspaper couldn't print.

What a despicible human being Dennis Bullock was. If true justice had
been done, he would be rotting in the ground today, not free, as
he is.

The writer did a very good job, on a very heartbreaking story!

Dennis Bullocks attorney went way beyond "defending" his client, and committed defamation of character against the dead Julia Miller Bullock. If I were Mr. Margulis, I would not be able to sleep at night!!!

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