Customer Reviews: Earthstorm
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on July 10, 2007
Disclaimer: They didn't actually call it NASA. It was the ASA or something. But we know who they meant!!

EARTHSTORM is an Armageddon 'homage' starring one of the lesser Baldwins. Not Billy I don't think. That doesn't narrow it down one darn bit, does it?

Giant uncharted asteroid hits the far side of the moon. Apparently just hours later debris starts whacking into us (you'd think it would be headed AWAY from us. I'd also think it would take a while to get here. I'd also think that if it did get here like a Domino's Pizza, in 30 minutes or less, the story would end right there. But go figure). NASA covers up the fact that meteors are hitting us and wiping out cities and that there's a crack in the moon and a huge halo of Giant Space Rice Krispie debris you can see from Earth but many people figure it out by hearing rumors.

Demolition guy Baldwin as Bruce Willis is blowing up a building. As they're about to push the button, everybody wearing heavy clothes and helmets and flack jackets except the extremely hot female assistant who's in shorts, suddenly the 9th floor blows up. This causes the entire system of explosives to become 'unbalanced' and wackiness ensues. Since they can't stop the countdown, Bruce Baldwin runs up to the 9th floor (with a pack of DYNAMITE!), finds pillar 8A which is what blew up (and is totally unscathed), sticks a new pack of explosives on it (completely fixing the problem, except the problem is in no way fixed), finds the homeless guy who set off the explosives (and who is also completely unscathed) and races out of the building with seconds to spare. They head off to their next job in Baltimore, which is almost immediately hit by Giant Space Rice Krispie meteorite debris.

Meanwhile some red headed scientist portrayed by a woman who's acting training came from doing makeovers in the local mall, and who is expending all of her 'talent' trying to hide her accent, realizes her father predicted this exactly, but was driven out of the business and to his death by evil government scientist Dirk Benedict. NASA calls her in because nobody will listen to her.

I'm not really sure what happened to the moon. At various points in the story it's shifted it's orbit, the crap is coming from the asteroid, the crap is coming from the moon, there's a rift a 100 times the size of the grand canyon in the moon and the crap is spewing out of THAT, and anything that leaves the far side of the moon for whatever reason whacks us about a half an hour later.

Part of this is explained when cute shorts demo girl finds a hunk of the moon (after dodging into a canvas tent to avoid a major Giant Space Rice Krispie meteorite impact about 50 feet away) just laying there in Baltimore, a big hunk clearly made out of foam that nobody handles like it weighs more than an empty coffee cup, and it turns out we were wrong about what the moon was made of all along -- it's hitting us so hard because it's composed of uranium. In the form of Giant Space Rice Krispies.

NASA decides the only way to stop the moon from bombarding us (at this point Mexico City is suddenly destroyed, but nobody mentions it again) is to fly up to the moon and set off nukes and seal the fissure. Of course, Baldwin must go with them, for only he can push the button.

Red decides that since the moon is all magnetic and everything, we should use a special magnetic bomb that no one has ever built instead. Of course, Baldwin must go with them, for only he can push the button. Of a bomb he's never heard of the theory behind or seen, as it doesn't exist.

Starbuck vetoes the plan. Through the entire movie he walks in whenever they're planning something; nobody at NASA *ever* closes a door.

They take off in a space shuttle, which despite the nukes being the size of a couple of suitcases, only holds 3 people; cute female pilot, random astronaut, Bruce Baldwin. Random astronaut is immediately knocked out for the duration of the flight. Shuttle has gravity, and a continuous floor between the flight deck and the cargo bay, almost as though it was a left over set from a high school stage play.

Shuttle lifts off, jettisons its SRBs and liquid fuel tanks together, and, with main engines still roaring, flies to the moon, dodging and weaving incoming Giant Space Rice Krispie rocks, accelerating the whole way. Granted, they have auxiliary strap on nuclear engines that no one had ever built or tried before as well.

They get to the moon, fly down to the surface (while this shuttle has internal gravity, external gravity doesn't affect it at all) and sort of hover.

Cute shorts demo chick shows up at NASA with the very light rock. Analysis indicates it's uranium, which means Starbuck was wrong, and they should have sent the magnetic bomb instead of the nukes. The Earth is doomed.

NASA brainstorms and figures out how to take unused parts from the shuttle's communication systems to turn the nukes into a magbomb. Bruce Baldwin does this while cute pilot hovers.

Starbuck realizes red haired scientist did all the math wrong, and they need 100 times more bomb. The Earth is doomed.

Starbuck saves the day by realizing they happen to have auxiliary nuke engines strapped to the outside of the shuttle, that Bruce Baldwin can get to, somehow.

Baldwin realizes the new charge needs to be set off in a new location. The new location? THE CENTER OF THE MOON! Yes, they need to fly the shuttle to . . . THE CORE!!!!!

Luckily, the fissure goes all the way to the center of the moon. They fly down, dump the bomb, eject their engines, and, main engines still blasting away, race for the surface as the mag bomb goes off, the fissure sucks itself shut, the moon "heals itself" and returns to it's proper orbit, and all the incoming Giant Space Rice Krispie stuff that was about to destroy the Earth is just . . forgotten about. Cute pilot, engines STILL GOING FULL THROTTLE, despite the fact that she left the fuel tank back on Earth and the strap on engines in the moon, races back as unhurt extra astronaut comes to. BTW, all this apparently happened in about half an hour, as cute shorts girl hasn't even gone to the ladies' room to wipe the soot off her pert little nose yet.

Back on Earth, everybody loves everybody, Starbuck is forgiven, Red's dad is vindicated, Red goes back to work for NASA, Red and Bruce Baldwin pair off, Red's assistant who didn't have enough of a part to matter and was in love with her scores with cute shorts girl, mostly 'cause there wasn't anybody else with enough lines to pair her with except Starbuck who stoically rode back to Washington, and the weather is all fine, and nobody cares that Mexico City is gone.

The End.
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on August 7, 2007
Forget the physics and logistics of the situation and forget that Stephen Baldwin is known for being in cheesy movies. To my surprise this is actually an excellent movie. The acting was not the best, but I was expecting that. The director was obviously very good and turned what normally would have been a bad movie into something worth watching. This is unusual in these types of movies and I want to say congratulations to Terry Cunningham for pulling it off. The real question is would I be willing to add this to my personal movie collection, and the answer is yes.
As to the comments by "rewt"; Acting: B, technical affects: A, physics and logistics: F (rewt was right there, but most people are ignorant about that). It gets 4 points from me (again to my surprise), because I want to watch it again.
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on December 21, 2013
So, after what happens to the moon it is up to the government to save us. And yet, another nuclear engined Shuttle. Nasa should consider building one. There's the usual back story, wronged party, heroic scientist attempting to rescue us. I bought this movie because I saw it on sci fi. Credits are a thing of the past, I do watch them as part of the movie going experience. Bottomline, I recommend it
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on November 23, 2013
I have seen this made for TV movie many times. Although it is your very typical "Earth about to be destroyed" disaster movie, it is fun anyway. Similar story to Armageddon, where a non-astronaut hero must journey in a spaceship to save the world. Stephen Baldwin's performance adds some dimension to the film. Not a big budget movie, but I love it anyway.
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on June 23, 2012
Stephan Baldwin is his usual solid character capable of anything, but without the macho attitude put in so many sci fi movies. Excellent science--at least credible as far as we need to know to enjoy this 'what if' story. The 'must hate character' a know it all scientist (Dirk Benedict) is wonderful to despise! Lots of fun to watch.
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on January 25, 2016
A meteor strikes the moon and creates regolith. Debris heads toward the earth and causes destruction. Discredited scientist Lana Gale (Amy Price-Francis) is the expert on the topic and her expertise is called back into service. Meanwhile in a subplot John (Stephen Baldwin) is a hotshot demolitions expert, someone Lana Gale would find attractive.

To no surprise we discover the moon is breaking up and we need Stephen Baldwin to save us because Bruce Willis died in that other film. Of course, in like "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" there are those who claim we don't need to nuke, that things will heal themselves.

This is a watered down made for TV movie with formula results. This is the kids version of the Willis film.
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This movie has all the standard characters and clichés.
Most rogue comets head straight for earth in all good disaster movies. Well surprise, this animal decided to hit something else.

We have the misunderstood and of course disbelieved scientist.
We have the immobile and disastrous decision-making government representative.
We have the structural explosives expert who does not realize his potential until he is challenged.
We have the up and coming assistant who waffles under pressure, and several other standard disaster movie characters.

They all do the standard things and have the standard conversations.
There is a tad of originality in the quantity and timing of overlapping miscalculations and unforeseen complications.

If you have spare time and nothing better to do this presentation is at least not purposely campy.

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on October 24, 2009
I saw this on 'SyFy' and I like cheesy sci-fi movies, but this is missing that certain something. The review by 'anim8rfsk' was spot on and hilarious. Normally I like movies with "Giant Space Rice Krispies" and 'drop-a-nuke-in-the-center-of-the-moon-to-make-it-heal-itself' type of thing because of the silliness, but this time it's just a little flat. I could watch this again, but I certainly wouldn't pay for it.
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on June 21, 2014
You have a bunch of people wondering around say copy that & we watchers of this video are expected to believe that you have the space ship traveling at 20,000 per hour and the pilot is expected to fly though all these very large boulders and seal up a crack in the moon with nuke bomb all in just matter of few minutes? Acting if you can call it that was let's say not Oscar material. The movie to it credit there was no porn, cussing blood, guts and gore like so many of these low budget have in them. You could do worse in movie selections and I would like to given this movie a little better rating had not the plots being so predictable and dialog so boring. Copy that :)
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on March 1, 2008
This was a lame movie. Major rip off of Deep Impact, Armageddon (my favorite movie) and probably some others as well. I don't usualy post reviews but I thought I will this time. I am a disaster movie fanatic, and this movie is right up my alley, but it was lame. Not even going to waste my money on this one at all. If you are a disaster fanatic like me, and haven't seen it, don't. It's not worth it.
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