Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy Used
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Condition: :
Comment: Thank you for looking at this book. No writing or highlighting inside.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Easy To Love, Difficult To Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills For Turning Conflict Into Cooperation Hardcover – January 26, 2000

See all 8 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
"Please retry"
"Please retry"
$7.93 $2.17

How to Raise a Wild Child: The Art and Science of Falling in Love with Nature
Help kids fall in love with nature while instilling them with a sense of place along the way.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Read the book that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Learn more

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow; First Hardcover Edition edition (January 26, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0688161162
  • ISBN-13: 978-0688161163
  • Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (129 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #427,502 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A developmental psychology specialist and early childhood education expert, Bailey contends that the difficult but rewarding task of guiding children's behavior starts only when parents are able to discipline themselves and become models of self-control. By following the author's "7 Powers for Self-Control" (attention, love, acceptance, perception, intention, free will and unity), the parent will then be equipped to use the "7 Basic Discipline Skills" (including choices, encouragement and consequences). Bailey dismisses the familiar fear-inspired approach to discipline many grew up with (including threats and punishment), claiming that it inevitably leads children to make biologically driven choices and may even effect the brain due to the high levels of stress hormones released. Also rejecting the permissive parenting style now popular that favors "reasoning" (which, according to the author, imbues children with a victim mentality), Bailey instead promotes instilling an awareness of misbehavior through communication. Though some may be put off by the gimmicky overuse of slogans and buzz words, Bailey's underlying message is positive and hopeful, supported with humorous anecdotes and helpful solutions to even chronic discipline problems. (Feb.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Frustrated because your kid won't get in her car seat? Grumpy ever since your son decided that cleaning his room was optional? Ever feel bad after screaming at your kids for these and other things? Moans. Groans. Alas, parenting is no picnic. Bailey (There's Gotta Be a Better Way) acknowledges this and, in this insightful manual, suggests a disciplinary framework called "loving guidance." Loving guidance begins when parents learn seven "powers of self-control," which include acceptance and intention. Next, parents exercise seven basic discipline skills, such as empathy and maintaining composure. The goal is to teach kids the seven "values for living," including respect, compassion, and responsibility. Numerous, often funny lessons akin to those in Mark L. Brenner's When "No" Gets You Nowhere (Prima, 1997) help parents apply the concepts to daily life. Recommended for public libraries.
-Douglas C. Lord, Hartford P.L., CT
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Customer Reviews

Book is an easy read.
Jennifer L Kerns
It helps me be a better person and a better parent, and I feel my daughter will be better prepared for life.
This is by far the best parenting book I have ever read.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

145 of 146 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 6, 2002
Format: Paperback
I have read quite a few parenting books, and until recently I considered Faber & Mazlisch's books (including How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids will Talk) to be the absolute pinnacle. But if Faber & Mazlisch are like a college course in parenting, Becky Bailey's book is graduate school. I am deeply grateful to her for writing this book, and to the friend who told me, "You have to read this book! I want to load up an airplane with copies and drop them all over America!"
Unlike many parenting books which just offer tips and tricks for gaining children's compliance, Bailey's book is aimed at helping parents achieve self-control and self-discipline, so that they can then teach these skills to their children. When my friend first told me about the themes of the book, I thought, "Oh great. Just what I need--a book to make me feel bad about how out-of-control I am, how angry I feel towards my kids, how much I yell, etc." But it wasn't that way at all. Reading the chapter on "Assertiveness," for example, I realized that I do not need to feel guilty about my anger; I just needed to make a switch from saying to the children, "YOU are MAKING me furious" to saying "I feel furious when you yell in my ear. You can talk to me in a quiet voice, and I will listen." The first expression implies that children are responsible for their mother's feelings. The second lets me express my feelings, set boundaries, and give the children the information they need to make better choices.
Since reading the book, I feel better about myself and my children. It has strengthened my feelings of self-respect as well as helping me treat me children with respect. I look forward to applying my new skills in my adult relationships as well!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
83 of 85 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 22, 2000
Format: Hardcover
I highly recommend this book by Becky Bailey. It has truly changed my relationship with my preschooler and toddler and the way in which I interact with my children. I have a very challenging three year old son who is extremely determined and stubborn. Prior to reading this book and using Becky's techniques, he and I were engaged in constant power struggles. By using her techniques, we had instant success and amazing results. The non-stop power struggles are gone! For example, putting on his shoes every day was always a challenge, with me becoming angry as he refused to cooperate. After reading her book, I approached this problem differently. The next time he refused to put on his shoes, I used her techniques. I was absolutly flabbergasted when he thought for a second and then said OK and put on his shoes. I was so shocked I was speechless for a few seconds. For months, he and I had struggled daily with putting on his shoes. Just by approaching him differently the problem disappeared. My husband and I were absolutely stunned at how effective the techniques are. This book has helped me understand the reasons behind my children's misbehavior and how to appropriately react so as to make misbehavior a learning experience for my children. While my children's behavior is not perfect (of course I don't expect that from a preschooler and a toddler) we are seeing vast improvement. Most importantly, Becky's techniques are helping to teach my children the tools they need to interact succcessfully with other persons. Becky's book really ties together how different discipline skills promote certain values. This book is truly the most effective parenting book I have ever read. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
47 of 50 people found the following review helpful By linda h dragnich on February 23, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This book offers an interesting concept and I can tell you from firsthand experience with my 12 year old, that what Dr. Bailey offers really does work. One of my best friends is presently reading the book and has started applying what she is reading to her parenting of her 6 year old and she is amazed. The down to earth writing style,the real life examples,the 7 week program and the "what ifs"page are helping me become the parent I want to be. I used to spank, I used to give "time out", I used to yell alot and I used to feel absolutely horrible after all of these incidents. I grew up and thought I turned out fine but after reading the book, I realized there is a better way and it's not about punishment and giving in...it's about turning times of conflict into times of teaching. I feel so much better about myself as a parent. And as a result,I am a better parent. Success breeds success, literally. I don't know how any parent could get along without Dr. Bailey's 7 basic skills of discipline. I urge every parent to buy this book. It should be in the gift basket every new Mother takes home from the hospital, tucked in with the Pampers.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
48 of 53 people found the following review helpful By Daphne G Cronin on March 9, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This book is not your average, every day parenting book! By using a win/win scenario, Dr. Bailey not only carves out a highly effective and user-friendly program demonstrating for parents the "seven basic skills for discipline", but she teaches us as readers how to find our own sacred selves first. This in turn teaches us as caregivers to center ourselves prior to engaging in any discipline encounter. By being brutally honest Dr. Bailey guides us through this process by giving often hilarious examples from her own life, and step-by-step procedures on how to master the "seven powers for self-control". Just when you think you have a question that Dr. Bailey has not answered, she pops up with just the scenario you had in mind and walks you through it. A whole chapter models her program with specific examples using children at different stages of development. At the end of the book, a seven-week program is mapped out in a concise and easy to follow format. I highly recommend this book for anyone who not only wants to improve their relationship with their children, (nieces, nephews, grandchildren) but who may want to improve their relationship with themselves.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

More About the Author

Becky A. Bailey, Ph.D., specializes in early childhood education and developmental psychology. Her lectures reach more than 20,000 people annually, and her awards include a Parents' Choice Foundation commendation for three of her parenting audiotapes. She has appeared on CNN, PBS, and The Hour of Power with Dr. Robert Schuller, among other programs. She lives in Oviedo, Florida.