Customer Reviews

Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle

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As a practicing physician myself, I may mention a new health book or product to my patients if I think it might be useful for them. However Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat is actually featured prominently in my waiting room and I have personally introduced it to each and every patient.

Dr May's book about maintaining healthy weight actually breaks new ground for this age old problem and anyone who struggles with weight / eating issues, or lives with someone who does should check it out. My wife and I had the chance to read and review it last spring during its publication and we both agree it is probably the most effective book on the subject we have ever seen. We used the principles ourselves this past summer with terrific results.

Dr. May evidently struggled with overeating for many years and by making a thorough understanding of overeating her life's work, it seems she has managed to address just about every psychological aspect of the problem from first hand experience. And she has been at her ideal weight for well over a decade.

I thought her first book, Am I Hungry?, was a fine work with good ideas and a novel approach to the problem. But Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat is her masterpiece. It is comprehensive, leaving no style or aspect of overeating out. Best of all, there is absolutely no dieting or hunger with her methods. That's not to say it's easy. It isn't. But it IS NOT PAINFUL.

The fact is, this book will really help a percentage of readers (i.e. my own patients) maintain a healthier weight and that, more than any drug or other treatment I could give them, will have the most profound effect on their health and longevity.

(review originally posted on my blog, thestretchjeanincident[dot]blogspot[dot]com

Once my binge eating hit in November and continued into January, I was painfully aware (both physically and mentally) that I had a problem and I needed help. Now, yes, seeing a therapist should've been my first move, but as much as I wanted to seek counseling, I simply couldn't (and still can't) afford it. And I'm certainly not ruling it out as an option in the future, but for this particular time in my life, I needed something to guide me through my feelings and help me navigate through the terrible cycle of binging (and sometimes, purging) and into a peaceful, healthy place. I wasn't expecting to be "cured" by a single book either, but I was still desperate for some sort of basic direction. And, eating disorder aside, I also knew I didn't want to count points or calories for the rest of my life. I just wanted to eat like a normal person and not have to constantly freak out over food. I want to, dare I say it, live.

This book has helped me so much, in so many ways, I'm almost out of words. (Almost... I still managed to think up a few.)

Within the first couple of chapters, Dr. May quickly identified 3 eating behavior cycles (Overeating, Restrictive and Instinctive) and how, by taking small but meaningful steps, you can eventually move toward mindful, balanced eating. I personally followed the overeating and restrictive cycles for yeeears, even as I started losing weight.

It was kind of painful to read certain paragraphs sometimes because some of the behaviors she talks about are identical to the ones I've experienced ever since I became aware of my weight as being an issue. While I'm thankful for dieting as a means of helping me shed 90 pounds, in the end, it really f***ed up my attitude toward and relationship with food.

Within this book, you learn why it's important not to assign "good" or "bad" labels to certain foods, how & why obsessively tracking every last calorie or point can actually backfire (which it totally did, in my experience) and why you should never "punish" yourself or earn the right to eat certain foods by exercising (guilty as charged, once again).

After getting schooled on how dieting screwed up my eating behaviors, Dr. May then walked me through how to eat more instinctively and mindfully. She explains how to reconnect with your natural hunger cues so that you only eat when you're hungry (mind-blowing, eh?) and when you do eat, you eat foods that both bring you pleasure and nourishment so you're left completely satisfied.

She also talks about fitness and why you should pursue it for the points of bettering your health and feeling good, not out of guilt for eating food.

I had so many "duh!" moments as I read this book. Everything Dr. May says about how and why you should eat and exercise is pretty simple, but it also made so much sense, which is why I found this book so comforting AND empowering. EWYL makes it perfectly clear that you don't have to struggle with food. You can eat and live a balanced, healthy, fulfilling life, without guilt or self-induced pressure.

The last few chapters are designed for people who are more or less clueless about what kind of healthy foods to eat and how to start exercising, so I pretty much skimmed through those parts. She then closes the book with a ton of great recipes (her husband is a spa chef, so there ya go).

Love, love, love this book. And glad I actually purchased it instead of checking it out at the library. There are so many "Mindful Moment" tips throughout the book that I made note of, for future reference. Like I said before, I am in no way "cured" by this book, so I feel good knowing that I can re-read certain paragraphs in the future whenever I start to doubt myself and feel anxious about eating.

After reading this book, I've no doubt changed my tune about what it means to live a healthy lifestyle. While I preached for years (over 2, literally) about calories this and Weight Watchers Points that, I feel so liberated in giving those concepts the middle finger now, for the most part. Now, I know there are people who read this blog who are in fact tracking calories and/or points in order to meet and manage their weight goals, so please don't take this as a personal attack. I don't mean to offend and I certainly don't intend to dissuade you from your current process of weight-loss/management.

As long as you feel your current approach to eating and fitness is balanced and healthy (and not stressing you out or causing unhealthy behaviors), by all means, keep it up!

Am I thankful for Weight Watchers and calorie counting for helping me lose all of that weight? Of course! Doing so changed my life.

But after reaching that long built-up "goal," I quickly became overwhelmed. "Can I be more 'free' to eat 'bad' foods more often? Do I still need to track this? Do I still have to work out extra hard to eat that? Can I just eat whatever I want?"

While WW is quick to say that their program is not a diet and is indeed a lifestyle change, I was starting to find that despite what I said 90 pounds ago, I can't (and simply don't want to) count points for the rest of my life. But I still want to be healthy. EWYL showed me that there is indeed a middle-ground.

"Yeah right, Tam. You're just using this book as an excuse to eat junk and not feel guilty about it." Did I at first? Yeah, maybe a little bit. But as I read on, I realized that that's soooo not the goal of the book at all. And really, it doesn't take long to feel the effects of eating not-so-nutritious food. I don't feel like I have to eat healthier foods. I'm in a place now where I truly enjoy them; eating better leaves me feeling better. But am I going to lash myself, verbally, mentally and physically next time I have a piece of not-so-nutritious cake? Heck no! One of my favorite Mindful Moments (out of like, 30):

"When you are free to eat whatever you want, food quickly loses its power over you. You are able to eat anything, without eating everything."

One of Dr. May's main messages is learning how to be in charge, not simply "in control." It's a message that resonates throughout the whole book and I'm happy to say that I'm finally learning what it means (and feels like).

So, do I recommend this book? Well, of course I want to say, "YES! YES! YES! EVERYONE READ THIS BOOK!" but I know that it is indeed not for everyone. But if you feel that you might be caught in an eating and/or exercise cycle that is constantly leaving stressed, guilty and/or hungry, I would definitely invite you to at least check out the EWYL Blog and even download the book's first chapter (PDF). If you feel an immediate connection with the material (*raises hand*), either head to the library or make your way to Amazon.

When I first sought out support for my binge eating, the results were a bit overwhelming. And there are indeed a ton of other books out there on similar subjects, so I'm glad I found this one. Dr. May's tone didn't intimidate or annoy me, which was something I expected for some silly reason. She doesn't get overly preachy or contradictory; she simply speaks from her own experience (as well as the experiences from others) and provides you with simple, truthful knowledge aimed at giving you what you need most: help and support.

Thank you, Dr. May. If this book helped me, I'm confident that it's helped others and will continue to do so.

Never in the many years I have spent bemoaning my weight, fitness level and eating habits have I ever been presented with any written material that really helped me understand -- and transform -- what is going on with me until now. Do not be fooled into thinking that the concept "Am I hungry" is a simplistic approach to weight management. Many of us have spent the better part of our lives confused about what being hungry is, and "fulfilling" our hunger with mindless eating. Being "hungry" has been confused with being stressed, being sad, being angry, even being bored. If you want to discover how to truly identify and positively respond to physical hunger, and simultaneously learn how to identify and respond to the times it may seem we are hungry but are really in need of something else, READ THIS BOOK. If you want to have your "problem with eating" transformed from a seemingly un-winnable battle into a consistent daily victory, READ THIS BOOK! Best of all, if you love food like me, you will love it EVEN MORE after you have completed Dr. May's book. Life-changing is the best way to describe this book, but the most amazing aspect of that change is how quickly it can be made after reading (even while reading) -- it is literally like a key to a door that I've never opened -- but always wanted to -- was simply handed to me. Happily, the door remains open for me to explore the high energy, guilt free, amazing world that lies beyond. Read this book and open your own door -- you will be so glad you did!

This book is very necessary in today's world of eating. While many people continue to focus on modifying their food selections and making "healthy" substitutions - we forget to address why we're overeating in the first place. This book covers it.

It has great suggestions about:
-daily eating and enjoying food
-the potential downside of using the scale for accountability
-why you may be overeating...and what to do
-recognizing hunger/fullness cues

After reading this book - eating will make sense again.

I will be recommending this book to many (if not all) of my clients.

Before I begin this review I want it to be known that I am 38 years old and I have been fighting the same battle with my weight for, it seems, all of those 38 years. I have successfully lost countless pounds and put them back on. Before I stumbled on this book I had virtually given up the fight and resigned myself to being fat for the rest of my life. Before reading this book I wouldn't have thought it possible to be around food and not be full of stress and anxiety. I didn't think I'd ever get to a point where I could just listen to my body and stop eating when I was full. I grew up believing that my sweet tooth was untamable and that as long as Snicker bars were still being made that I would never be able to lose weight and keep it off. Dr. May has taught me, in the simplest terms I have ever read, so much about being in charge of and trusting myself. Oprah had me convinced that reading Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything would revolutionize my behavior with regard to food and while it was a good read, I wasn't a changed woman after I read it. The 1st 30 pages of this book literally changed my life. I was a changed person by the very next meal because I started listening to my body and I was surprised to learn that it took me almost 36 hours to get hungry again. I have been listening to my body ever since and can't imagine living and eating any other way. I believe every person who has ever considered a drastic surgical procedure, extreme diet or any diet for that matter needs to read this book. Trust me I have tried every diet and have considered having surgery to win this battle and for the 1st time in my life I know its not necessary for me to get to a healthy weight. This book has given me the knowledge, courage and confidence to eat what I love and love what I eat and I am forever grateful. 2 1/2 months after reading it I am 21 pounds lighter because I have learned to use food as fuel and found many ways that I enjoy to use/burn that fuel. My life with food has never been better.

I bought it about two weeks ago and I am starting to read and apply the information shared. Today, I was thinking about what I've read so far and I just felt like the spark got ignited. Maybe it started with weighing myself this morning and since Tuesday, I have lost 3 pounds. That was exciting, but the real exciting part to me was HOW I had lost the weight. Without counting calories, without controling everything I ate, and without guilt. I am really starting to learn to apply the concept of taking "charge" of my life without having to "control" everything about it. It wasn't without doubts. It wasn't even until this morning when I weighed myself that I even had an inkling that this may actually work and be the lifestyle key for me.
1. I didn't have to count calories: The days of doing that are OVER! And why? Because you only eat when you are hungry and if you do eat when you aren't, it's a conscious choice and decision. The books states that if you eat when you aren't hungry, then you either eat until what your eating is done, or until you are overstuffed and feel yucky. Also if you eat when you aren't hungry, then there is no way for your body to tell you aren't hungry anymore and signaling you to stop. I would find myself getting into my OCD-type thought about needing to count the calories in foods I ate to tell me WHEN I should stop eating. I had to remind myself that that's not necessary because you are mainly going to eat when you are hungry or take charge of eating a small amount of a food you may be craving or really enjoy.
2. I didn't have to control the what and when of everything I ate: There are no BANNED foods. You can CHOOSE (instead of controlling) what you are eating. Also you strive to eat mostly when you are hungry. You don't have to control the time you eat, or even how much. You take charge and evaluate true hunger signs of your body, and eat when you are hungry and until you are satisfied.
3. I didn't have to feel guilty: This was the most freeing part of all. Why didn't I have to feel guilt? Because I didn't break some rigid rule and I didn't eat foods that were classified as "FORBIDDEN." I made a conscious decision to eat or not to eat a food. And if I ate a food that diets have categorized as "BAD" foods, I didn't need to assume the position and jump off into the vortex of a downward spiral and feeding frenzy because the self talk has told me "see, you coudln't do it," or "since you wrecked your diet, why bother, you might as well eat eat eat and give up, or start again tomorrow etc."

Does it mean that I shouldn't make good food choices? Does it mean that I should never "deny" mysefl? Does it mean that I should be lazy and become a couch potato? Does it mean eat whatever I want and when I want and be a glutton? NO!!!! For me it means, CHOOSING to do these things or not and taking CHARGE instead of being defined and CONTROLLED by some diet plan or rigidly counting calories. There is also no need to be PERFECT and no need to feel guilt and shame if I wasn't PERFECT.

Feeling a little skeptical? I felt skeptical and some anxiety about not being so controlling about changing my eating habits and guess what, I still do! But I am beginning to see the value of what I have read and applied thus far. I know that it will take awhile to get used to this way of LIVING but how wonderful to not feel so controlled by everything else and to actually feel you can truly LIVE!!!

My wife and I have been trying in vain to lose weight for years, but all the restrictive diets and silly rules in the world just made us irritable, sick, and no lighter on the scales. I became enamored of this book within seconds of picking it up at random from a table at the local mega-bookstore--where we were looking for diet cookbooks. That week, our restrictive, torturous diet had netted us a weight gain, and I decided that we needed to retool.

That was in the first week of January. Since then, life has thrown me every sort of curveball imaginable, and we have not eaten mindfully as often as we'd like. However, I'm down fifteen pounds, and my wife is down sixteen even without being 'on'. We find that eating better and thinking about our bodies leads us to make decisions that result in feeling better whole-body. Plus, we think about how eating and the business of eating really works, and that gives us a way to eat more rationally. With new knowledge and perspective, we're progressing forward, and I feel the common sense wisdom of this book is a big part of that.

I'm a scientist and engineer by both nature and education, so the elegant logic of the positions spoke to me. Simple ideas like not being able to know when you're full if you're not hungry when you start eating seem like the most basic things in the world, but only once you've heard them. Being a scientist and engineer, I am not disposed to either effusion or belief without a very critical eye, but I have been telling everyone I know about this book for the simple purity of the ideas.

I was a skeptic because I knew that I was an emotional, distracted overeater and that the only way I could help myself was to become more mindful and change my habits, just as I suspected Dr. May's book advises. However, reversing years of bad eating habits seemed really impossible to me, and I didn't think I could do it just by reading a book.

But Dr. May's book is excellent. She hits the nail on the head for very specific bad eating habits and provides a step-by-step method to address that habit. She really will reshape the way you think about food and exercise, and you may experience less anxiety about food and dining just as I have.

I used to always get nervous when my friends wanted to meet for dinner because I felt like "great, I'm going to ruin my diet" but nope, each meal ends up being a new chance to make a positive change. You end up feeling good with each meal you apply Dr. May's principles to. And I have been eating more variety, just less food, and feeling completely satisfied and enriched.

Excellent book. I think she should write a small handbook, like an Instinctive Eater's Bible so I can throw it in my purse for days I feel a little off track and need that extra motivation.

It wasn't that long ago that I decided I was ready to get off the diet roller coaster. But if you've spent a lifetime going on and off diets, obsessing about your weight, and swinging back and forth between counting every calorie and having an all-out food free-for-all like I have, then making the decision to end the cycle is only the beginning of the process. Sure you can decide you've had enough of counting calories, always feeling deprived, and so you just eat what you want, whenever you want, without considering the consequences. But chances are you, if you've been playing the diet game long enough, you probably have long lost the ability to listen to your body, and when you end up gaining weight as you no longer restrict every bite, you're likely to feel bad about yourself, leading you to go on yet another diet.

Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle by Michelle May, M.D., is a guide book for quitting dieting and (re)learning how to eat. Like other books on intuitive eating, Eat What You Love places a big emphasis on listening to your body. But simply deciding to listen to ones body after ignoring it for so long isn't as easy as making the decision to do so. With each Chapter, author Michelle May outlines actionable steps you can take to stop controlling what you eat and start taking charge of what you eat. She also includes moments from her own journey towards becoming an intuitive eater, bringing a personal element to the book.

In Part 1 of Eat What You Love, May helps you recognize what type of eater you are. While you might think your poor relationship by food can be summed up by simple explanations like "I just enjoy food too much" what you might find while reading this book is that there are more underlying issues that lead you to ignore your body's cues. Understanding your habits and learning the reasons behind your eating will enable you to use the tools provided in the book to help you "eat mindfully, live vibrantly."

Once you've discovered the underlying issues behind your eating habits, Eat What You Love provides new strategies to deal with old feelings and situations that may trigger overeating. In fact, there is a whole chapter on self-care. Additionally, learning how to eat with purpose may awaken or heighten the sensations you get from the food you love, and give you whole new level of enjoyment of food. And you may even realize some of the foods you think you love actually don't taste all that great when you pay close attention to what your body is telling you as you eat it. Your taste buds are the most sensitive when you are truly hungry, and as your hunger diminishes, so does your taste sensations. That first bite of chocolate cake may taste like a little slice of heaven but if you eat slowly, taking time to taste every bite, you might find that as you fill up, the flavor seems to fade.

After going through the process of learning to eat with intention, becoming more mindful of how your emotions come into play when making decisions about food and learning how to cope through means other than food, Eat What You Love moves onto the subject of exercise. As with food, May encourages you to focus more on how exercise makes you feel instead of seeing it as a chore or as redemption for your food sins, and in the vain of the title of the book suggests "do what you love, love what you do". If you dread the monotony of walking on the treadmill, don't do it. Instead find other ways to move that make you feel good, like dancing around the house, taking the dog for a walk outside, or even active play with the kids. Of course, you might also find that when you are focused on the way exercise makes your body and mind feel, it might renew love for activities you thought you no longer enjoyed. And for those who are interested, May spends some time talking about the physiology of exercise but breaks it down in layman's terms to make the information accessible and meaningful.

May points out that "Every time you drastically decrease your caloric intake, you lose muscle, not just fat, if you aren't exercising regularly. Once you abandon the diet and resume eating the way you previously did, you'll quickly regain fat but not the muscle you lost. As a result, your metabolism will be even slower." In addition to suggestions on ways to add enjoyable movement to your life, Eat What You Love offers specific weight-bearing exercises as well as stretches to increase flexibility -- another important component of a healthy lifestyle.

The last section of the book is filled with menu ideas and recipes for foods that will feed and nourish your body while allowing you to love what you eat. Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat is a comprehensive resource to get you on track towards a healthy relationship with food and your body. It is not a quick fix diet solution. It does not present an easy way to lose weight under the guise of a healthy eating plan. Instead, if you are ready to do some emotional work, Eat What You Love will bring you to a place you thought you might never be able to find -- a place where you don't have to think about food all the time, but instead enjoy it thoroughly while staying in charge, and living your life in a healthy way.

Early on in my long, unhealthy relationship with food, exercise and my body, I remember making a promise to myself that I would find a way to get free from the chains of calorie-counting, anxiety-ridden eating and compulsive exercise by the time I turned 30. When that birthday came and went and I was still unable to find peace, I almost gave up hope. I felt I had done everything I knew to do including engaging the help of a therapist on two occasions and, although there was some improvement, I began to think I would have to waste all this mental space and emotional energy on food for the rest of my life. Then, I found Dr. May's Am I Hungry? Workshop and this book. They literally changed my life.

After reading Eat What You Love and going through one of Dr. May's workshops, I have the most free, enjoyable relationship I've ever had with food, exercise and my body. It's wonderful! Other reviewers have used the phrase "common sense" several times when reviewing her book so I hate to be redundant - but it's such a good description of the approach. Once you read the book, you realize that the way to achieve a new relationship with food and a healthy weight you can maintain is by getting back to the intuitive way we all used to approach food (and life) before we got so screwed up! She gives you the tools you need to unravel years of ineffective thinking and yo-yo dieting, and to create (or rediscover) a relationship with food and exercise that allows you to maintain a healthy weight naturally and - more importantly - regain peace and comfort with food and yourself. Don't miss this one.