Eat What You Want And Die Like A Man: The World's Unhealthiest Cookbook [Paperback]

Steve H. Graham (Author)

Book Description

Release date: June 24, 2008

Eat healthy and live to be 100?.

Screw that.

Why choke down bland, mushy steamed veggies and brown rice when there s so much fat-laden, calorie-rich, heart-bursting cuisine out there to be savored? Because you want to live? So you can spend your golden years wandering aimlessly around a Florida shopping mall and eating dinner at 2 in the afternoon? So your rotten, ungrateful kids can plop you into some hellhole of a nursing home the minute you forget what day it is?

So go ahead, triple your cholesterol and triglyceride counts and clog those arteries . You ll never get out of this world alive, so you might as well enjoy your life while you can. Here are 30 artery-clogging, colon-blistering recipes sure to satisfy the most insatiable cholesterol craving. Instead of, steamed tofu, try Lard-Oozing Caja-China-Roasted Hog or Pizzeria-style Baked Ziti with Sausage and Mozzarella!. Follow up with a decadent dessert of Deep-Fried Twinkies or Ice Cream Lasagne. You ll die quicker but with a smile on your face.

Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man will put you back in touch with your Inner Hog.

Raves for Steve Graham s THE GOOD, THE SPAM, AND THE UGLY

"Gleefully offensive." --Publishers Weekly

"Thanks for using a pseudonym." --Steve s father

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Nostalgic for a time when kitchen counters had a container marked "grease" right next to "flour" and "sugar," author and blogger Graham (Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking) offers up a rambling, tongue-in-cheek, plaque-in-artery collection of recipes and essays for those dedicated to the "Art of Lard." Graham delights in slaughtering sacred cows with his acerbic, at times wildly inappropriate humor, but also gets a terrific amount of glee from simple bacon grease, a key ingredient in ribs, chicken fried steak, hash browns and even popcorn. Predictably dense takes on macaroni and cheese, burgers and fries dominate, though more exotic fare like Turducken and Rotis with Goat Curry are also detailed. Graham's glib instructions can frustrate; for fatty (but incredibly flavorful) twice-baked fries, "you get your fat, and you put it in a big pot, and you put it in the oven at 250 for like a day. Then you throw out the lumps that remain," before you add potatoes for frying. Most of his dishes, however, fall within the capabilities of kitchen novices, and he peppers sound advice throughout on everything from the proper use of ham hocks to the care of cast iron skillets. Unfortunately, his wildly uneven tone and pointless digressions kill any sense of momentum, making this a comedic smorgasbord best consumed in moderation.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Steve H. Graham is author of The Good, the Spam, and the Ugly and Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking: Finding Your Inner Caveman. In 1983, he was indicted for eating a live midget. Steve lives in Miami, where he enjoys fishing, piano, home-brewing, and cooking enormous portions of unhealthy food.

Product Details

• Paperback: 284 pages
• Publisher: Citadel Press (June 24, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0806528680
• ISBN-13: 978-0806528687
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #930,410 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Funny as hell and fattening too... June 29, 2004

By Kevin P. Menard

Format:Paperback

The evilest cookbook I've seen... even worse than Kill it and Grill it. Not bad as in bad food but bad as in addictingly good food that will cause your vegan freinds to suicide. Heck, the bacon grease even gets into the biscuits and the veggies...(I think there is a veggie somewhere in here). Seriously, this is one heck of a book that makes recipes the way Grandma did: does it taste good and will it put meat on your bones. The answer to both is yes.

So far we have tried six recipes and they are all keepers. Well, after the author told us about the flour. The fudge wasn't bad but the brownies are "worth a walk." Normally, I'd consider a cookbook a keeper for 2 recipes and we are well past that now.

Add to outrageous good but fattening recipes, a sick twisted humor that somehow avoided the political correctness virus and you have a cookbook that almost promises hours of entertainment when given to your vegan peace-nik co-workers.

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Superb!! July 23, 2004

By Mugwort

Format:Paperback

Just got it a couple of days ago, and I've been chuckling ever since. The author is apparently half-insane, but that's okay, as his insanity seems to stem from the extreme oppression that the food police so delight in inflicting on ordinary mortals.

This book may be offensive to the joyless and easily offended, but, hey, you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That is also okay, as the joyless and easily offended probably prefer bean sprouts and tofu anyway.

I found his chapter on barbeque, in particular, very useful. Pay strict attention to his dissertation on cast iron skillets. I believe there may be a typo in the discussion on red-eye gravy. IMHO, red-eye gravy needs to be made with coffee, not water. Sure, you can make ham gravy with water, but then it's just gravy, not red-eye. Your mileage may vary.

If you enjoy life, you will enjoy this book and should buy it for yourself. If your life is plagued by professional killjoys, buy it as a gift for them just to be annoying. Either way, you win!

If you don't enjoy life - well, go forth, eat your raw carrots in peace, and let history forget you were ever our countryman.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Warning, you can also die laughing! July 2, 2004

By Ruth H

Format:Paperback

"WARNING!!! THIS BOOK IS A CHOKING HAZARD!! DO NOT READ WHILE EATING. It is hilarious. And the recipes, should I ever get around to trying them, look like the greatest thing since Mom's. (or mine)".