Eats, Shites & Leaves: Crap English and How to Use It (The Shite series) (Paperback)

by A. Parody (Author)
Key Phrases: longest word, Dan Quayle, Murray Walker, Yogi Berra (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
"'A lucky-dip of malapropisms' The Observer"

Product Description

Here is the long-awaited antidote to those pedants out there who insist on pointing out every single misuse of both written and spoken English. The English language is an ever-changing and complex thing, and for every English language "stickler" who never misspeaks there is somebody who is bamboozled and befuddled by grammatical trapdoors, puzzled by punctuation, and who spells words with diabolical inaccuracy. Featuring highlights such as ambiguous ads (Why not have the kids shot for Easter, or have a family portrait taken?), dangling modifiers (She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.), and senseless statements (With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go.), this humorous guide brings to light the prevalence of absent apostrophes, ghastly grammar, suspect sentences, rambling repetitiveness, insane instructions, and quirky quotations in society today.

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Michael O'Mara (April 28, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1843172747
• ISBN-13: 978-1843172741
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #509,967 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars They weren't wrong with that sub-title., October 21, 2006

By	Jack Spratt - See all my reviews

This review is from: Eats, Shites & Leaves: Crap English and How to Use It (Hardcover)

I purchased this book expecting a witty retort against the books it parodies. Instead, it appears to be a collection of every remotely relevant "email forward" that ever existed. These forwards are something I dislike receiving in my inbox, let alone actually paying money for.
In addition to that, there are a number of errors that undermine its entire point - in one spot, it tests the reader's ability to spell the word "calendar", (ignoring that both "calender" and "calendar" are real words), giving multiple-choice-style options. Unfortunately, none of the multiple choice options actually matches the answer given. Considering the sub-title of this book, perhaps this is some level of sincerity that I fail to appreciate.
I made the unfortunate mistake of expecting a large amount of original content that had at least been proofread. Silly me.

35 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Parody ?, July 26, 2005

By	Anurag Chatrath (Edinburgh, Scotland) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Eats, Shites & Leaves: Crap English and How to Use It (Hardcover)

The title of the book (and the authors name viz. A Parody) seems to indicate that it is a spoof on the hugely-popular recent book with a similar name "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" (By Lynn Truss).

The book starts off by saying that it is ok to make grammatical mistakes (something which the Lynn Truss book considers as a blasphemy) but the book is not about bad english or its usage.

I found the book to be about the magic of the English Language. How different things can mean different things in different contexts. The book talks about cliches, maxims, abbreviations, political gaffes, spoonersims. You name it. Like I said, through examples of bad english and bad grammer, the author (is his name actually A. Parody?) shows us the appeal of the English language.

Not to be missed!

5.0 out of 5 stars "History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there." George Santana, May 28, 2009

By	J. Guild (Toronto,Canada) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Eats, Shites & Leaves: Crap English and How to Use It (Hardcover)

History holds great fascination;but I don't mean the stuff they fed you in school.A.Parody takes us into the wilderness of history and covers things that you will never hear about in "an Approved Curriculum" that you were subjected to in what is passed off as History.It is unbelievable, that the "halls of learning" have managed to take a subject that is so interesting and turn it into a dreadful experience for students.If you doubt what I am saying;just think how utterly bored students were in any of your History classes--see!!
In this entertaining and interesting little tome,Parody covers hundreds of interesting facts,people,events and other historical things that you never heard of in your History classes.
I can remember ,many years ago,taking a course in Ancient History that was covering who and what civilizations invented what.The teacher had actually drawn my attention away from one of the girls in the class;and I began to ask myself,with all these inventions,I wonder who atually invented the wheel.When the teacher asked, if there were any questions,and received blank stares and silence,I interrupted the tranquility by asking,"Who invented the wheel?" The teacher was surprised by my question,and weakly replied,that it was not mentioned in the book.I suggested that it was a big ommission,because I think it was mankind's greatest invention.Well;In this book you'll find the answer.
Wait until you read "Less Begatting,Please" on page 67.Here is where you will really find out the history of birth control,and none of it was ever taught in school.
To show you how convoluted and uninformative history can be;you will be amazed by some of the quotes from no less than Albert Einstein,such as this,"If my theory of relativity is proven successful,Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world.Should my theory prove untrue,France will say thatI am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew."
Now, just about everyone thinks that a fellow by the name of Crapper (1836-1910)invented the toilet.Even something as mundane as toilets can be interesting historically,and Parody has some different aspects of history for us here. There is evidence of primitive drains and cesspits dating back to 6000BC.In the ruins of King Minos,s palace of Crete in 1500BC,flushing toilets have been found . In Victorian times,up to 180 people used the same privy every day.(that works out to 8 minutes for each person,based on 24 hour use,probably necessitating a need for speedreading.)And even today 40 percent of the world's population lacks indoor plumbing.
History books go to great detail in explaining how the English defeated the Spanish Armada.That is a lot of BS,! Parody tells the real story.In 1588,a major storm sank most of the Spanish Armada,killing an estimated 20,000 sailors.As a further point of interest,I was visiting an old graveyard in Galway ,Ireland and found to my surprise,that one of the Spanish Armadaships was wrecked in a storm off the west coast of Ireland,trying to return home.Some of the sailors managed to scramble ashore,but the British captured them and murdered them all and buried them in a mass grave.A plaque is there for you to see. This is hardly the glorious battle we learned about in History class.
As the old saying goes;Truth is stranger than fiction", maybe the History books should be placed in the Fiction section of our libraries.
This little book will give you many facts of history,that you're unlikely to find in the standard history books.Who says history is dull?