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540 of 636 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Ahh...guilty pleasures..., September 14, 2007
I wasn't really sure how to rate these books, because in terms of literary quality they're certainly one star. Yet, they're so delightfully cheesy that in terms of entertainment value, they probably rate a 5-star review. Of course, I'm the girl that adores awful monster movies on the SciFi channel, so maybe you shouldn't trust my judgment. :)
But really folks these books are absolutely ridiculous. They're so over the top they read like parodies of supernatural romance novels. The characters' motivations and reactions defy any sort of real world logic. These books just don't make any sense. Like here's my main problem with the series: What in the world do all of these people see in Bella? And I'm not just talking about Edward and Jacob. That also includes Mike Newton, the entire Cullen family, Angela, and even Victoria and James from the first book. The entire Twilight universe revolves around Bella. Everyone is obsessed with this girl. Why? She's whiny, hypocritical, self-obsessed, co-dependent, moody, childish, sulky, I could go on, you get my drift. She has no goals, ambitions, hobbies, dreams, or talents. She shows no interest in the world around her. She basically shows disdain and/or contempt for anyone in her life who isn't impossibly beautiful or superpowered--including her own parents. Her one goal in life is to become a vampire so she can live forever, be impossibly beautiful and strong, and never age. Yes, this is our heroine, people. Was I the only one rooting for Victoria to knock the hell out of her?
Then of course there's Edward. I believe I've read in SM's own words that Edward is her idea of the perfect man. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that one. And let me just say that I don't care how beautiful and gorgeous and perfect and wonderful a character is--NO ONE deserves to have 300 pages telling us these things. If a character is supposed to be beautiful then I only need to be told that once, and then I'm looking for their more interesting aspects. If their beauty is brought up more than once than I'm going to assume that it's signficant to the story somehow...it relates to the plot, it's an ironic contrast to their not so beautiful inside, it serves as commentary for cultural perspectives on beauty. I don't want to get the idea that I'm reading about Edward's crooked smile, or bronze hair, or perfect chiseled features, or muscular chest over and over again because the author is imagining herself as the object of his affection and likes reminding everyone of how gorgeous he is.
And Jacob...how did he go from a sweet kid to a rapist-in-training? And why is SM so convinced that we're all going to adore this twerp as much as she does? That said, as a character, he's still 1000 times more believable and better developed than Edward.
Basically this book had so many unintentionally hilarious moments that I was imagining it as an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. There was Charlie's utterly bizarre reaction to Bella's breaking her hand...(What's that? You tried to sexually assault my daughter? And she injured herself? Way to go tiger!) Bella's stupidity after Rosalie's backstory (Hmm...I think she's trying to tell me something about life and humanity and family, but all I can really focus on is that some hot vampire chick once came onto Edward..WAAAHHHH Edward!) Edward's rather psycho definition of love( He basically says "I don't care about anyone else. I only care about you. Only you matter.") And the vampires' reactions (or rather non reaction) to the murder of the new vampire Bree disturbed me. They basically do nothing and have no reaction when a teenage girl is ripped to pieces right in front of them. Six months ago she was probably a normal teenager and now she's a pile of ashes and not one of the saintly "good" vampires even bothers to say "Poor girl. I wonder if her family is looking for her?" And these are the people that Bella wants to hang with for eternity?
Hey I won't lie, I'll probably be buying the 4th book, but I have no expectations of quality or literary value, only that I'm going to entertained by more cheap melodrama and cheesy, pseudo-sensuality.
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67 of 75 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
I can't be the only one..., April 28, 2008
Is it just me, or am I the only person out there who is mildly revolted with the thinly-disguised Mormon ethos present in all of Meyers' works?
I read these books because, as an illustrator, I want to know what's going on in the teen lit world, and anytime somebody gets labeled something histrionic ('The Next J.K. Rowling'), I'm curious. Unquestionably, this author has worked very hard to crank out some seriously long novels that are seriously packed with - well, not really plot, or action, and a great deal of thin, meandering dialogue - so I'm not quite sure what's in each book, but I do not doubt for one second that the passion of her romance writing is bizarrely gripping. I read all three of these books faster than whatever book I last read in the airport, and that's saying something. What does it say? Well, she certainly knows how to move at a literary clip.
What does astonish me are the swarms of fans comparing her to Jane Austen (!!) and the utterly irresponsible path the books have taken in embracing what I presume to be a Mormon dictate: get married right out of high school, education is secondary to marriage and love, and never, ever stand up for yourself in front of a man. Women in the church are still subjugated no matter how liberated they may think they are, and this truism is decidedly present in the so-called arc her protagonist takes.
I am also amazed that the author herself can state that her religion defines everything she writes, and yet nobody seems to mind - or know - that these teen romances are then 'defined' by it. They aren't only for sale in Christian bookstores, are they?
I'm always glad when young people get excited to read. I love the statistic about juvenile crime dropping on the days when Harry Potter books are released to the public. How can that not be to the good? But why on earth do young women have to be spoon-fed the idea that sitting around and waiting for a boy to sweep them away is how their life should be defined? It makes me sad that packaging up that notion in a glossy cover fools girls into thinking it's not only great literature, but what they should strive for.
EDIT: I am gratified to have gotten repeated comments on this review, regardless of negativity. I am also gratified for my judgments to have been corroborated by the author herself in the conclusion to this series, 'Breaking Dawn.' Therefore, my assessment of the subtext was correct.
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263 of 308 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
vampires, werewolves, and helpless females, August 17, 2007
To preface this, I'll say up front that I loathe love triangles. They're trite plot devices that are very rarely executed well, and that's just one of the huge problems with Eclipse. It's a love triangle that, according to the author, was designed for Bella to make a choice. Really? Was there any shred of doubt over what option she was going to go with?
Unfortunately for Eclipse, about three quarters of the book involved pitting Edward and Jacob against each other in a quarrel over who Bella loves more (and again, really?). Sure, it's great to be loved, but in this instance it just makes everyone look bad. Jacob comes off as too sexually forceful, Edward looks like a lump on a log reciting the same "if it's good for Bella, it's good for me" line, and Bella looks more selfish and whiny than usual. Sure, Bella was whiny and annoying way before Eclipse, but she puts on a grand display here and it makes one long for a point of view change. Anyone. Jessica's point of view would probably be preferable.
The rest of the book is about some killings in Seattle that, of course, mean Bella is in danger, which, naturally, means Edward has to act like a psycho boyfriend intent on saving her from herself. Early on he attempts to keep her house bound by ripping the spark plug out of her car, and while I thought that was a little melodramatic and creepy he one ups himself constantly after that. No wonder Bella kept grumbling and sighing whenever he kept swooping in to tell her where not to go and why. Then there's the marriage issue -- he wants to, she doesn't (it's embarrassing, you see...far more than having to tell one's family you intend to become a vampire in the near future because marriage is so much more shocking) -- but it's not like Bella has a say in the day that's supposed to be hers. She literally doesn't. It reminded me a little of an arrangement than a celebration with the amount of groaning and wincing Bella does concerning the upcoming nuptials.
What disturbed me more, besides the rickety plot, the endless comparisons to Wuthering Heights (the author studied literature in college, I get it. most of us college educated people did and I still don't see the need for comparisons to Heathcliff and Cathy), and the annoying love triangle, was how self-deprecating Bella was. How she constantly went through the book saying how unworthy she was of everyone, how at fault she was of everything, how clumsy, stupid, selfish (that one I actually don't argue with), immoral, weak, helpless, pathetic, and frighteningly normal she is. Sure, it's hard to have immortal, strong, mostly male friends, but as a woman I'd like to see Bella shed that "oh well, I'm just a little weak girl, woe is me, I'll just sit in the corner and die now" attitude without having to become a vampire. At every turn in Eclipse Bella depicts herself harshly, and the story does nothing to turn that around. She's the one that wants to have sex outside of marriage (which is too immoral for virtuous Edward), she's the one that's too weak to do anything other than be babysat, and for the most part the story agrees with her. The men (with the exception of possibly Alice) are the selfless heroes by the end, and the women are selfish (Bella), shallow (Rosalie), and bitter (Leah). Where have the strong female role models gone?
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