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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Argueably the worst movie ever made... what fun!, February 12, 2011
Can't decide if this is the worst movie ever made or one of the 1950's Vampire movies, but this one sure was fun. Gave it as a gag gift to several friends for Christmas. Was a big hit with all. Break out the popcorn and invite some friends over.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
The Name Written In Blood, February 26, 2006
Forget all that Quest For Fire, Clan Of The Cave Bear nonsense, this is Eegah! Eegah, man! On the books Eegah! is considered one of the worst films of all time(obviously the writers of these lists hasn't seen any Michael Bay films), but you do have to admit that it certainly has one of the best titles in film history. In Eegah! we have a chick who sees a caveman(Eegah's his name) on the highway en route to go swimming. She faints, wakes and tells her boyfriend and father about the experience. The father(he's a scientist) decides to take a trek to the mountains to find Eegah. He's then captured by Eegah. Eegah!!!! The girl then brings her boyfriend along to look for her dad. The boyfriend(Arch Hall, jr.) is one of those rockin' and rollin' teenagers who has a few musical numbers in the film. This guy's so cool he can get the sound of an entire rock band simply by strumming his acoustic guitar. I think the rock and roll hairdos men had in the 50s and 60s actually look pretty cool, but Hall's is grotesque. In fact, Hall is just creepy and weird looking period. Eegah captures the girl and drags her to his cave where she meets up again with her dad, and I'll tell you folks, Eegah is horny! He's definitely got plans to show this chick his caveman's club. In a long and tedious sequence, the girl and her dad try to strike up some kind of communication and understanding with Eegah, but he simply will not keep his hands off her. The entire time he is groping, smelling or stroking her. We all know what's on Eegah's mind, but his horniness is his weakness and it enables the two to escape. Back in the clutches of Arch Hall(you wonder if she is worse off in this dork's hands or Eegah's), they head back to civilization(which looks like it's about a half mile away) and try to forget it all by going to a "hop". At the "hop"(no pun intended) Arch sings us another rockin' number. Mid-song he decides he wants to dance with his girl, so he hands his guitar to another guy to continue, and the strumming never skips a beat during this handoff. Eegah has gotten away from his cave and ventured into the city and has had no problem locating his new girl at the "hop". He apparently smelled his way to her with an article of clothing she had left behind. This is the big climax of the film. Who's left standing, Eegah or Arch Hall, jr? Believe it when folks say this film is bad. Bad, yes, but what exactly would you expect from a 60s caveman film called Eegah? It would have been much more effective in b&w, coz the color looks kinda crappy. Richard Kiel probably isn't too proud of this role. He's got the whole look and act of a decent caveman I suppose(I've never met one). He's never allowed to speak though. Actually he's dubbed. There's constant caveman grunts, slurping and gibberish coming from him, but never once do you see his mouth move. Classy. This film is usually my response when someone asks me what my favorite movie is. Try it sometime. When you get down to it, Eegah is exactly what you expect of it, so watch at your own risk. Eegah!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Charm All Its Own, June 5, 2003
Eegah! The Name Written in Blood! When I bought this movie, I knew what I was letting myself in for because I was working in a movie theater when we showed this film, and I can definitely, unequivocally, and categorically state that it was NEVER, EVER released; it ESCAPED! Josef Stalin once said that quantity has a quality all its own. Like quantity and quality, WORST has a CHARM all its own, which is why there should be an Academy Award category for it. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes notwithstanding, this IS the worst movie ever made, which is why I bought it. The budget was so low that youd swear at times no sound recording equipment was taken to the filming location; the sound AND dialog were dubbed later in the studio. Eegah! stars Richard Kiel in the title role as a sensitive last descendant of pre-historic cavemen living with the mummified remains of his ancestors (with whom he has "conversations") in the desert outside Palm Springs at the time of the story (1962). He is discovered by the heroine, Roxie (played by Marilyn Manning) who accidentally hits him with her sports car out on a lonely stretch of highway while driving to a party one night. He is so large that he is unhurt by the accident, and she pretends to faint at the sight of him. He is scared off by her boyfriend, Tom (Arch Hall, Jr.); but when they look for him the next day, he captures her and her father, and holds them hostage. A particularly bad scene is the one in which she makes a mess out of her attempt to shave off his fake beard. Watch it at your own risk, and remember to "watch out for snakes." ...
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