Customer Reviews

Eegah

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

Can't decide if this is the worst movie ever made or one of the 1950's Vampire movies, but this one sure was fun. Gave it as a gag gift to several friends for Christmas. Was a big hit with all. Break out the popcorn and invite some friends over.

Forget all that Quest For Fire, Clan Of The Cave Bear nonsense, this is Eegah! Eegah, man! On the books Eegah! is considered one of the worst films of all time(obviously the writers of these lists hasn't seen any Michael Bay films), but you do have to admit that it certainly has one of the best titles in film history. In Eegah! we have a chick who sees a caveman(Eegah's his name) on the highway en route to go swimming. She faints, wakes and tells her boyfriend and father about the experience. The father(he's a scientist) decides to take a trek to the mountains to find Eegah. He's then captured by Eegah. Eegah!!!! The girl then brings her boyfriend along to look for her dad. The boyfriend(Arch Hall, jr.) is one of those rockin' and rollin' teenagers who has a few musical numbers in the film. This guy's so cool he can get the sound of an entire rock band simply by strumming his acoustic guitar. I think the rock and roll hairdos men had in the 50s and 60s actually look pretty cool, but Hall's is grotesque. In fact, Hall is just creepy and weird looking period. Eegah captures the girl and drags her to his cave where she meets up again with her dad, and I'll tell you folks, Eegah is horny! He's definitely got plans to show this chick his caveman's club. In a long and tedious sequence, the girl and her dad try to strike up some kind of communication and understanding with Eegah, but he simply will not keep his hands off her. The entire time he is groping, smelling or stroking her. We all know what's on Eegah's mind, but his horniness is his weakness and it enables the two to escape. Back in the clutches of Arch Hall(you wonder if she is worse off in this dork's hands or Eegah's), they head back to civilization(which looks like it's about a half mile away) and try to forget it all by going to a "hop". At the "hop"(no pun intended) Arch sings us another rockin' number. Mid-song he decides he wants to dance with his girl, so he hands his guitar to another guy to continue, and the strumming never skips a beat during this handoff. Eegah has gotten away from his cave and ventured into the city and has had no problem locating his new girl at the "hop". He apparently smelled his way to her with an article of clothing she had left behind. This is the big climax of the film. Who's left standing, Eegah or Arch Hall, jr? Believe it when folks say this film is bad. Bad, yes, but what exactly would you expect from a 60s caveman film called Eegah? It would have been much more effective in b&w, coz the color looks kinda crappy. Richard Kiel probably isn't too proud of this role. He's got the whole look and act of a decent caveman I suppose(I've never met one). He's never allowed to speak though. Actually he's dubbed. There's constant caveman grunts, slurping and gibberish coming from him, but never once do you see his mouth move. Classy. This film is usually my response when someone asks me what my favorite movie is. Try it sometime. When you get down to it, Eegah is exactly what you expect of it, so watch at your own risk. Eegah!

Eegah! The Name Written in Blood!  When I bought this movie, I knew what I was letting myself in for because I was working in a movie theater when we showed this film, and I can definitely, unequivocally, and categorically state that it was NEVER, EVER released; it ESCAPED! Josef Stalin once said that quantity has a quality all its own. Like quantity and quality, WORST has a CHARM all its own, which is why there should be an Academy Award category for it. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes notwithstanding, this IS the worst movie ever made, which is why I bought it. The budget was so low that youd swear at times no sound recording equipment was taken to the filming location; the sound AND dialog were dubbed later in the studio. Eegah! stars Richard Kiel in the title role as a sensitive last descendant of pre-historic cavemen living with the mummified remains of his ancestors (with whom he has "conversations") in the desert outside Palm Springs at the time of the story (1962). He is discovered by the heroine, Roxie (played by Marilyn Manning) who accidentally hits him with her sports car out on a lonely stretch of highway while driving to a party one night. He is so large that he is unhurt by the accident, and she pretends to faint at the sight of him. He is scared off by her boyfriend, Tom (Arch Hall, Jr.); but when they look for him the next day, he captures her and her father, and holds them hostage. A particularly bad scene is the one in which she makes a mess out of her attempt to shave off his fake beard. Watch it at your own risk, and remember to "watch out for snakes." ...

The English language doesn't really have a word to describe how bad of a movie Eegah! truly is. It was made by someone named Arch Hall, Sr. as a vehicle for his completely talentless son Arch Hall, Jr. Junior isn't handsome to look at, can't act and can't sing as we find out when he sings not 1, but 2, horrid songs in the movie.

The story, if you care, is Arch's girlfriend meets a 7 foot prehistoric man in the desert, played with deep embarrassment and shame by Richard Kiel. Her father decides to hunt the caveman down so he can study him and write a book about him. It takes about 2 minutes for dad to get captured by Eegah. So the daughter takes Arch Jr. out to look for dad. The daughter also gets taken captive and of course Eegah is smitten with her. This all leads to a scene where she shaves Eegah with the encouragement of her own father. You will need to shower after watching this scene.

It's left to Junior to be the hero, and even though he's really not up to it, they all eventually escape Eegah. But you can't stop love, or caveman lust, so he comes to civilization looking for the girl.

One of the worst movies ever made. And even that sentence does not do justice to how awful this film is.

Palm Springs girl Roxy (Marylin Manning) was driving one night until she sees a prehistoric giant named Eegah (Richard Kiel). Her skeptical dough-faced boyfriend Tom (Arch Hall Jr.) is concerned about her story as is her dad Miller (William Watters a.k.a. Arch Hall Sr.) as Miller goes beyond the city into the desert wilds where Shadow-Mountain is to find the giant only to end up as his prisoner. Roxy and Tom go after him only to find themselves trying to save each other and their father from the clutches of the mean but misunderstood giant.

A horrible 60's adventure movie that is one of the worst movies of all time. Arch Hall Jr. just can't act as he may look like an early Leonardo DiCaprio at times but can't hold a grudge and the acting is just horrible, the music is corny and the plot is numbing. Your jaw will drop at how bad it is, in fact the crew at Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed it nicely and that is the only way to view this piece of trash.

Now i don't own this on DVD but only in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 edition which has both the uncut full length movie and the MST3K version.

1 star for movie, 5 stars for cult appeal: The absolute pinnacle of bad movie magic, this is simply a film that defies categorization and must be seen to be appreciated. Leaden acting, ridiculous costuming, hysterical musical interludes, head scratching dialogue--it's hard to deny the power of this cave man love story. Often cited as one of the worst films of all times, the compliment is certainly well deserved! Richard Kiel (who played Jaws in a couple of Roger Moore Bond pictures) stars as the titular character mostly described as a giant (so that there can be inane Biblical references). With club and loin cloth intact, our prehistoric hero stalks a Palm Springs socialite. From one silly moment to the next, it's pure pleasure--but when the movie strains for a heartfelt ending, it's nirvana. A timeless triumph of disastrously bad cinema! KGHarris, 8/11.

Filmed in Palm Springs in an exotic t desert location. Roxy (Marilyn Manning) almost runs over a man (Richard Kiel) with an enormous uh...err...club. She tells he father and tacit boyfriend Tom (Arch Hall Jr.) who of course believe her (yah sure).

The father plans to make a novel about this novel person. To do this he dawns a "Call Me Bwana" African kaki outfit with pith helmet and takes a helicopter 10 miles to mysterious Shadow Mountain. There he disappears.

To the rescue are daughter Roxy, Tom and Tom's dune buggy. Roxy gets a good look at the giants club "Eagan" and cannot get over thinking about it. The giant gets a good sniff of Roxy and cannot get over thinking about it. Will true love takes its course between beings form different ages or will it end in tragedy?

"There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of
God came unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown."
Genesis 6:4 KJV

The Spy Who Loved Me

Filmed in Palm Springs in an exotic t desert location. Roxy (Marilyn Manning) almost runs over a man (Richard Kiel) with an enormous uh...err...club. She tells he father and tacit boyfriend Tom (Arch Hall Jr.) who of course believe her (yah sure).

The father plans to make a novel about this novel person. To do this he dawns a "Call Me Bwana" African kaki outfit with pith helmet and takes a helicopter 10 miles to mysterious Shadow Mountain. There he disappears.

To the rescue are daughter Roxy, Tom and Tom's dune buggy. Roxy gets a good look at the giants club "Eagan" and cannot get over thinking about it. The giant gets a good sniff of Roxy and cannot get over thinking about it. Will true love takes its course between beings form different ages or will it end in tragedy?

"There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of
God came unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown."
Genesis 6:4 KJV


The Spy Who Loved Me

So, a gal named Roxy (Marilyn Manning) is out for a drive one night, when -Bam!- she hits a caveman (Richard Kiel) standing in the road. The next day no one believes her story, but her dad (Arch Hall sr.) decides to go look for said troglodyte in a helicopter anyway. Well, dad fails to return, so Roxy and her swingin' boyfriend, Tommy (Arch Hall jr.) head out to the desert in his dune buggy to search for dad. Along comes Eegah (the cave guy) who kidnaps Roxy! Tommy must now find her before Eegah has his way with her, right in front of her captive father! Tommy rescues the two, a chase ensues, and everyone arrives home in time for the big pool-side bash. Oh no! Eegah won't give up so easily! He crashes the party and knocks folks around like ping-pong balls! The cops show up and plug Eegah before he can take Roxy off to loveland. This one's watchable enough, though it does drag on in many places. The true horror of EEGAH! is Arch Hall jr. himself! He warbles his way through several mind-destroying ballads and "rock" songs! I recommend speeding through these horrid numbers! Still, this is nowhere near the total wretchedness that is NASTY RABBIT, Arch Hall jr.'s ultimate experiment in audience torture. Oh well, at least Kiel went on to become semi-well known in movies. The Halls just disappeared into blessed oblivion. If you want a real mind-blowing experience, try watching this movie as a double feature with THE SADIST, also starring Arch Hall jr. and Marilyn Manning. The contrast is astounding. You won't believe your eyes!...

I have to believe that Richard Kiel, who played "Jaws" in two James Bond movies, is embarrassed by his role in this movie that is about as cheesy as a movie in this genre, whatever genre that may be, can be. The plot has more holes than anything I can think of. The acting is awful. And those features are the best parts of this movie.

As the movie begins, we meet young and beautiful Roxy Miller (Marilyn Manning). Soon Roxy is driving to the beach and runs smack into a giant caveman. The caveman appears to be carrying a deer and a club. The caveman, who we later learn is called Eegah (Kiel), is immediately smitten by Roxy. Fortunately for Roxy, another car drives up. It turns out that Roxy's boyfriend Tom Nelson (Arch Hall, Jr.) is driving the car. Had Tom arrived any later, Roxy might have been making out with a caveman in the desert.

At some point Tom utters a classic line. "I swear on my Elvis Presley LP." Dialogue just hardly gets any better than this. I also enjoy it when Tom sings a song early in this movie about some babe named Vicky when Roxy is his girlfriend.

Tom and Robert Miller (Arch Hall, Sr.), Roxy's father, go with Roxy to the location where she saw the giant. Mr. Miller decides to go off into the desert of southern California to look for the giant after the trio finds a giant footprint. When the helicopter is unable to retrieve Mr. Miller, Tom hops into his dune buggy with Roxy to go find him. Tom is soon destroying desert habitat, including rare desert plants, just so he can prove to Roxy how macho he is. The next thing you know, Roxy and Tom are getting ready to spend the night in the desert, and Tom whips out his...guitar! The next thing you know, backing vocals kick in, whistling starts, electric guitars join in, and suddenly Tom sounds like he is in a studio somewhere. This time Tom sings about Valerie. Roxy kind of gets her revenge for Tom's singing about other women later.

Tom's singing is really nothing to write home about, but it turns out that, like the Pied Piper, his singing attracts creatures. In this case the creature is Eegah. Eegah is frightened away by Tom's transistor radio, but the next day Tom leaves Roxy at the dune buggy to search for her father and Eegah takes the opportunity to kidnap Roxy. Eegah soon sets up house (cave, actually) with Roxy, except Eegah decides he wants more than a shave and a meal. Tom shows up in the nick of time to save Roxy's honor, but Roxy looks wistful as she sees Eegah on the hilltop as they leave the desert. After all, if Tom can sing about other women, Roxy can dream about a caveman as a boyfriend.

Later, Eegah decides he is unable to live without Roxy, so he goes to great lengths to track her down. Unfortunately, few people are able to tolerate a caveman wandering about, so they have to take action. Poor defenseless Eegah just did not know what he was up against. I suspect that Roxy broke up with Tom soon after. After all, there was no way that Tom could compete with Eegah.

The transfer for this movie is reasonable. The picture was generally clear and the sound was okay. I do have to wonder why I am concerned about the quality of the DVD. This movie is awful. The plot is silly. How could a caveman exist in southern California with no one knowing? How was Eegah able to find Roxy? I know she had perfume, but Roxy rode in a vehicle for quite a distance, leaving no trail. I know the movie went to great lengths to explain that Eegah was friendly, but Eegah was a caveman, and a seven foot tall caveman should have been more forceful than he was. Regardless of what the opening credits show, Eegah does not kill anyone, other than the audience, who die from boredom.

Instead of watching this turkey, find the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version instead. Trust me; you will be glad you did.