Customer Reviews

Eighth Grade Bites (Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, Book 1)

5 star:		(44)
4 star:		(27)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

I wanted so desperately to like this book - I work with books for a living and I'm always on the look out for good reads for younger teens, especially ones that appeal to boys. So after hearing so many good things about this series I decided to give this a shot. The premise and characters all sounded so fun and the book started out with a definite bang but sadly that's all it really has going for it.

I wish I could give this book two reviews - one for how I think it should be viewed in the eyes of parents and teachers looking to recommend it and one for how it stands up on it's own. For adults looking for good vampire fiction for kids, this does make a very good choice. And with so much vampire fiction on the market being targeted at young girls its nice to see a male alternative pop up. I suspect this book would also make a good selection for reluctant readers at a middle school level - the book keeps it's page count low and the writing styling makes it easy to follow along with for younger teens who aren't yet doing so well with longer chapter books.

However for anyone outside of it's target demographic this book is a hot mess - it's biggest flaw being how both characters and plot are woefully underdeveloped - after finishing this book I could tell you a host a facts about the people populating its pages and yet I couldn't tell you why they felt the way that they did or even how they came by such a decision. We know that Vlad has a crush on a girl in his class but she seems to not function at all out side of this role - other than the fact that she had blue eyes we know nothing about her other than Vlad loves her. What is her personality like? Why does Vlad like her so much that he's rendered speechless in her presence? Is she kind? Smart? I know she has pink lips because they're mentioned 100 times but I know nothing else beyond the color of her lip balm and skirts. This doesn't exactly make for a heart pounding romance.

And everything else in the book seems to follow suit in the same way. Characters are around to move the non existent plot foreword rather than flesh out anything resembling an interesting story line. The adults bumble, the vampires are painfully bland and stupid and the dialog between the teenagers is so stilted that it sounds as if it were ripped from some early 90's So You're Going Through Puberty video. All throughout the book I found myself continually wondering if I wasn't reading a badly abridged copy since the characters came to such abrupt decisions and information that was crucial to the story line was dropped so abruptly in that it was distracting to encounter it.

The writing its self is also incredibly clunky and at times it hinders more than it helps. From the dedication on the opening page one would have thought that the writer would have learned her lessons from On Writing but apparently not. And so we're treated to such clunky instances of "I hate it!" Vlad seethed and "X did this and then X did this again before X picked up the phone and reminded us again his name was x" Jesus! Glad to see she doesn't think her audience is so dumb that she has to remind us of a character's name three times in the same sentence or to tell us that if someone is yelling how much they hate something that must mean that they're seething.

And on top of all this the book was a mess of technical facts and keeping it's own mythology straight. Vlad eats raw hamburger to "get at the blood" and yet even third graders know that the pink juice in raw meet isn't blood. His lunches are normal twinkies stuffed with "carefully injected blood capsules" when it seems so much easier to just bring a thermos. At the end of the book he gets a tattoo and yet no one seems to notice it and/or think it odd a 14 year old has such a marking in a completely conspicuous place as his wrist.

Ah, well, I know I've gone off the deep end of a rant now - there's just so much to nit pick at in this book. Honestly I can't believe an editor actually took a look at this before publication - there are just too many gaping holes in the plot for anyone to take this seriously.

So yes, tweens and mature children will love this book and perhaps rightfully so. But for anyone above 15 it just becomes insulting to your intelligence after awhile to keep reading.

This is the first vampire book I've ever read and I didn't know how I'd feel about it at first. But consider me converted - this was FUN. Because all I had coming into this were old-school ideas of vampires, Heather Brewer showed me how wrong I was to think vampires don't have feelings! I got totally into the realities of Vlad's everyday life - the bullies, the blood bags, etc. Oh - and it's really funny, too, which I loved! I already bought Ninth Grade Slays & can't wait to read it.
Also - I gave this book to my two teen (11 & 12) nephews and both of them really loved it - which is a miracle, because getting them to read ANYTHING is difficult. So - if you know a reluctant reader, this might be the perfect book for them.

I didn't enjoy Eighth Grade Bites as much as I thought I would, and I'm not sure why. Vampires are my thing, so add some humour to the mix, and on paper I should love it. Instead I found it a fairly hard book to get through, and finished it feeling little to nothing for the characters.

I like what Brewer tried to do with the humour, and I admit I did appreciate all the vampire jokes and references. There's something about a teenage vampire with a garlic allergy that made me laugh, and the fact that Vlad takes it all in his stride just added to the over all tongue-in-cheek feel of the story.

The characters are where my problem lies, which is a shame, because they had the potential to be really good. For me, they lacked any real depth, and I didn't come away from the book feeling like I really knew them. Maybe this improves in later books, which I am still planning to read at some point in the future.

The great ideas were there, I just don't think it was executed as well as it could have been. Still, it was interesting to hear about vampirism from a teenage perspective, and Vlad's father's journal entries interspersed throughout were a nice touch. Although Eighth Grade Bites was slightly disappointing, I'll give the next book a chance, and hope I enjoy it a bit more than this one

I gave this book three stars, because I'm honestly not sure if I should give it a two or a four. I always love a good supernatural read, especially one about vampires, so when I learned that this book was about a teenage vampire, I was intrigued. It was a step away from the previous vampire books I'd read, where the vampires are all dark and serious and brooding.

This book has a lot of faults. I found it shelved in the Teen section of the bookstore, which later surprised me. Despite being about teenagers, I'd decrease the reading level to maybe middle school or even elementary. The writing is very simplistic, the plot line reduced to a very basic form. EVERY character fits a stereotype so perfectly it's almost boring--the sidekick, the motherly figure, the evil villain. Everything a character says or does seems cliche, typical. As a teenager myself, I found Vlad and Henry and his friends all very flat, like sitcom characters.

Also, one thing that I thought hurt the plot was that, in Vlad's world, if someone says something, then it MUST be true. There is no explanation. If a bad guy says he's actually a good guy, then he's good. There are quite a few events in the story that don't make sense, especially the prologue.

BUT, DESPITE all that...I enjoyed the book. This book is FUN, and so if you don't analyze it too much, if you don't focus on whether the plot makes sense...then you CAN enjoy this book. I like Vlad. I like the idea of a character like Vlad. It's actually kind of refreshing that the book isn't very serious, because I know I can read it quickly and just have fun with it. I can laugh at the characters and their stereotypical dialogue, and I can laugh at all the quirky puns Vlad makes about being a teenage vampire (like the Smiley Fanged T-Shirt). I consider this book a bit of a guilty pleasure, because it's written for people much younger than me. But still, I plan to read the rest of the series, and if you're looking for a series that's just for fun and gets rid of all the complicated plot and heavy drama, then this is the one for you.

I read this book in a day and am ordering the sequel: Ninth Grade Slays first thing Monday morning! Vladimir Tod is not your typical vampire...he's half human. His father was a vampire and his mother was human (they were murdered)...and it wasn't supposed to be possible but here he is.

Vlad lives off of expired donor blood his caretaker gets from the hospital at which she works and the only person he's ever bitten was his best friend Henry when he was eight. Oh, and he's REALLY allergic to garlic!

It was so interesting reading about what it would be like being half human, half vampire. It's a great combination of vampire lore, humor, mystery, and general teenage drama.

Although Vlad does have a crush, this book doesn't have the heavy romance of the Stephanie Meyer series. Brewer focuses more on Vlad as a person and what he's going through being a half vampire without REALLY knowing what he's capable of or his heritage. I love the way that Brewer explores new ideas about vampires and doesn't only stick to previous stereotypes. I definitely recommend it for vampirophiles.

I'm sure Heather Brewer thought she was pretty damn clever when she named her main vampire character Vladimir (as in "The Impaler"--the man that the legend of Dracula is based on); or when she named another (pretty much non-existent) character Edgar Poe (the American Gothic writer who had nothing to do with vampire stories); or when she named the big, scary, dressed-all-in-black, bad guy D'Ablo ("the Devil"). And then, of course, she just had to throw in that the street that the vampire family lived on was Lugosi Trail (the first man to play Dracula in a motion picture with sound). It was the only street name, or spacial reference in the whole book.

The plot and build of the story was rather threadbare and lacking. Specifically in the time line area. Brewer skips forward in time by hours, weeks, and months without any acknowledgment to the reader. It starts at a Halloween; skips to the winter Snow Ball dance; then to Valentine's day, and the end of the school year. Arched across all of that is a plot line that should have taken place within 3 weeks tops. It's inconceivable that it would take a whole year to get to where it was going.

Another terrible characteristic of Brewer's writing is that she constantly makes her protagonist dumber than her audience. It drives me completely nuts. For the majority of the book, I felt like I was dragging the protagonist forward with every page turn instead of being led into a puzzling wonder. It's not like it's that hard to figure out that the cliche, scary, shadow man named D'Ablo is probably evil and the playful, eccentric guy named Otis Otis is probably not.
And why were they having such problems tracking Vladimir down? Brewer drew attention to her own plot holes and flaws with questions like, "Why didn't they just pick up the phone book?" Yes, Brewer, why didn't they? Are they just the stereotypical bad guys that always remain a step behind the good guy until the very end when they're magically a step ahead for the final confrontation? Oh wait, they are! You said that yourself when you called D'Ablo a cliche. Oh wonderful. Problem solved.
The book is dumb.

Vladimir Tod has all the problems of a regular eighth grader- he has a crush on the prettiest girl in class but is too afraid to ask her out, and finds it hard to fit in and is beat up by the bullies of his class. Oh, and did we mention that he's a vampire too? So added on is the pressure of hiding his true self completely, but that all changes and is jeopardized when a substitute teacher arrives after the mysterious disappearance of his regular teacher. Can Vlad trust this new sub teacher?

The suspense in this book propels the reader through the story, and it's a downer when you find yourself at the end! This was a fantastic book that contained bits of horror, comedy, and sentimental moments, along with the suspense. A highly recommended book, and a sequel is on its way for 2008, titled Ninth Grade Slays!

Thirteen-year-old Vladimir Tod is being raised by "Aunt" Nelly, his mother's best friend. His human mother and vampire father were both killed in a fire, leaving their young vampire son an orphan. Life is not easy for Vlad...the school bullies harass him, the principal seems to have it in for him, and the girl he likes best and wants to ask to the dance seems to prefer his friend, Henry.

Aunt Nelly understands his problems and helps him to hide the fact that he is a vampire and must have fresh blood to survive. Vlad's best friend, Henry, is the only other person who knows his secret, although Vlad did bite Henry once when they were eight years old.

The one teacher that Vlad had real rapport with has disappeared and no one knows where he is. Vlad and Henry are determined to find out what happened to him. The substitute teacher begins to question Vlad too closely -- and there is just something strange about Mr. Otis Otis (yep...first name and last name are the same.) Vlad worries that Otis might suspect the truth, and then when Otis assigns vampires as Vlad's research project, and the teacher scribbles "I know your secret" across the bottom of his essay, he is really frightened.

Vlad discovers his father's journal in the attic and is learning about the reality of being a vampire and the powers that he may possess. Vlad also becomes convinced that there is a vampire killer in town, and that he is next on the killer's list. Things go from bad to worse when Aunt Nelly invites Otis to dinner and he confronts Vlad with what he knows.

There is some gross-out vampire stuff in this story. How about chocolate chip cookies dipped in blood? The gripping confrontation with the vampire horde at the climax of the novel is electrifying in this well plotted, exciting, supernatural adventure. I loved the great characters, and the fast action kept me reading most of the night, with my door firmly locked.

Reviewed by: Grandma Bev

The best thing about this book is the cover. If I had read this as an original story online I would have disgarded it has the drivel of a little fangirl. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, however because it had somehow gotten published.

The plot is recycled from one 12-year-old to another. Vampire boy can walk in the sun because he's a half-breed. He drinks from blood-bags because he doesn't like the idea of hurting anyone. He gets picked on, woe is his life. He's a total loser who crushes on the most beautiful girl in the world. His best friend is popular and charming and overshadows him. His parents died in a mysterious fire and left clues for him to catch their killer. Mysterious relative shows up, befriends him, pretends to betray him, and turns out to be a good person. Oh, and he's the key to a mysterious prophecy that will change everything the vampire world stands for. There are no surprising plot twists at all in this book!

The characters are one-dimensional and are ripped straight from every archetype there is. Mysterious relative who is attractive, eccentric, and wears a top-hat. Goth vampire whose got a heart of gold. Caring aunt who cooks amazingly. Supportive friend who in the real world would probably never speak to him.

The humor is constrained to witty one-liners about sunblock and mean jocks. Through-out the book, the author throws names from vampire history (Stokerton and Bathory are just two examples). These, whatever puprpose they were supposed to serve, did nothing but momentarily distract the reader from the (so-called) plot of this book.

Do not let the catchy cover fool you, while pre-teen readers may find the book humorous and fun, anyone familiar with good vampire fiction will be disgusted by what Brewer has done to this once-great genre.

ok so i said i love vampire books right.well this one i hate i read half of it and so fair i think its a terrible vampire book.dont waste your money on a terrible book.