Customer Reviews

El Chupacabra

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

This has got to be one of the worst B-horror movie ever. Of course, no one expects a B-horror movie to be good or make sense, but this is ridiculous!

All throughout the movie, we have people doing things for no reason at all! We have the scientist who will do anything for science, including sacrifice people. We have the greedy man who will do anything for money, including sacrifice people. Then we have the good guys. We have the hero who will do anything to save people, including risk his life. We have the pretty girl's father who will do anything to save people, including risk his life.

My description may sound like an overexaggeration, but that is how it normally is with B-movies. All the bad guys act the same, all the good guys act the same, and there are generally two types of women. There's the bad ass female who can kick ass despite her rather small stature (and most of them have petite figures, so don't lie to yourself) and there's the female who actually acts like how she looks. In this movie, it's the latter but she gets to kick some ass later on in the movie. She fails miserably at it, but she does it.

The chupacabra itself is a rather big enigma. It growls loudly all the time, yet no one hears it. It mauls everyone it comes across, yet no one except the main people sees any dead bodies. It moves like it has a giant spring in its ass, yet it slows down when near someone and speeds up again when it's right next to them.

However, that is not the biggest problem. The biggest problem in this movie is that everyone and the chupacabra does things for no reason. The scientist decides to kidnap the admiral's daughter even though kidnapping someone else would have made it tremendously easier for him. The thief tells the soldiers that the heroes are dead for no obvious reasons. As a matter of fact, telling the soldiers the truth would have made things EASIER for him. Then there's the chupacabra itself. It really mauls EVERYONE it comes across! How can anything be hungry all the time? Even so, it never eats all of its victim. It swallows maybe a tiny part and then it moves on to something else. Why?

You guys should save yourself the agony of this movie. Nothing makes sense. In one scene, one of the soldiers will toss grenades all over the place, but almost NOTHING is destroyed! Please don't watch this. You'll thank me for it later.

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that is soooo...bad it's great. EL CHUPACABRA joins the list; this movie is funnier than many comedies I've viewed recently. The monster looks like a smurf and the acting is unbelievably bad. They stop sometimes in midstream and act like they're trying to remember their lines. They can't several of the doors to open. The sound and editing are atrocious. And the actors are just the worst I've seen, but their characters are given such dumb lines and behave so unbelivably, it just made me laugh and laugh and laugh. What a hoot!!!!

If you are reading this bad review and look at the others which are bad and still think "Hey, forget what they say, I bet it'll be a good movie," Don't count on it. When I read the reviews I wanted to see the film for myself first. when I saw it the reviews were correct. This sucked! All they did was talk, talk, talk ,talk,talk, talk, talk. And there was this stupid sentence which stayed right in the middle of the movie saying Property of Retarded Films or something like that. Anyway trust me. I know and I was in the same position you were in. This movie sucked. If you don't believe me rent or borrow it and see it yourself.

I heard this one sucked. The Foywonder and Dr Gore tried to get that message thru, but it didn't work with me, as usual. So I rented it. And I'm sorry.

Some nutcase tries to transport two Chupacabras, a male and a female, to a facility in some gang-infested city in Mexico. At least, I think it's a gang-infested city in Mexico. Anyways, the male escapes and starts killing people.

It seems appearant to me that most of the film's budget went into making the two rubber Chupacabra suits, which are easily the best thing about this movie. But that isn't saying much. To say the script and direction are completely incoherant is an understatement. The acting isn't much better.

If you did something wrong and feel like you need to punish yourself, or if you want to torture someone, this is a good choice.

El Chupacabra is by far, the worst movie I have seen in the last few years. Imagine a horror film where the "monster" looks like a retarded chimp that's been punched in the face a few too many times, and has fallen into a vat of green dye. In spite of the fact that it's less than 3 feet tall and moves like it's doing the potty dance in slow motion, it manages to kill several stupid humans that aren't smart enough to just kick it like a football and beat it with a stick. Sadly, the monster being on-screen is the highlight of this movie, as the acting is horrible. I rented this movie expecting a really bad, d-movie, and it exceeded my expectations by far.

We get an animal control officer, his cousin, an author, two idiot cops, three seemingly harmless gang members, a mad scientist, his henchman, and a homeless person. I left out a couple of people, but you get the picture. This is low-low budget film-making at it's... er, um, best? Well, it's not the worst I've seen anyway. The title creature is semi-impressive w/ no zippers I could detect. Just some poor guy in a monkey-man suit hopping around. There is blood, intestines, and carnage, though there's not much suspense. The humor is ham-fisted and mostly flops on the floor. I didn't fall asleep, but I did check the clock to see if time had actually stood still at one point. If you enjoy movies like ASTRO ZOMBIES or CORPSE GRINDERS, the style and cheapness of EL CHUPACABRA might appeal to you (although both AZ and CG are superior tales)...

Unless you can pick this up in a closeout bin, and even then just save your money....

this movie rocks! it looks cool, the writing is fast and funny and scary. the guys who directed this are definitely here for good. I can't wait to see their next movie.

Having presented the equally foul smelling "Legend of the Chupacabra" to a friend as a Christmas gift, I duly received this odious film in a likeminded reply. I have considered the case very carefully and simply can't decide which of the two is worse, so save yourself the agony and choose to watch neither.

"El Chupacabra" is putrid beyond belief. The concept and script defy belief (and description), the characters are wooden templates of real people, and the acting is perhaps the worst I have ever seen anywhere. Coleman Francis has nothing on Treach for dramatic talent. The problem is that Treach as Dr. Goodspeed is the best actor in the film, while the worst is the annoying police investigator who apparently forgets giant blocks of dialogue, leaves appropriate gaps in the scene, and then just starts talking again. This brings me to the subject of dialogue. Seldom has worse use been made of the English language, with excessive talking devoted to goats and sublimely silly conspiracies, most of which are so badly conceived as to be nearly opaque to the viewer (Dr. Divide actually says something like "goats are found most commonly in areas highly populated with goats").

This film is truly wretched. I do like the thought of the heroine, a noted Chupacabra author named Dr. Starlina Divide, battling a menacing animal (about two feet tall and resembling nothing as much as a smallish pygmy marmoset) alongside the animal control officer (Eric Alegria) in what must be the first in a series of one starring roles.

If you consider watching this film, consider this closing thought: Don't!

Great effort for a movie with a budget smaller than Blair Witch - I hope. The camera shaking added to tension - good call on the part of the Director. Very creative shots. Cameraman needs V8. (...) Don't let your sibling watch, they'll be too afraid to take out the trash. (...)