Customer Reviews

The Eldercare Handbook: Difficult Choices, Compassionate Solutions

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

What an eye opener! Through this book, Stella Henry holds the hand of the reader and says, "I've been there, what you feel is normal, you can do this, and here's how." Gently, she explains the joys, challenges and pitfalls of caring for the elderly. She unfolds the changing relationships between parent and child and illuminates shifting sibling roles. Perhaps most importantly, she tells the caregiver (usually a wife, daughter, or daughter-in-law) when it may no longer be safe to care for a loved one at home--when creating a hospital at home still cannot give a loved one the care he or she needs. At the same time, she warns that not all nursing homes and assisted living facilities are created equal and that we need to become sophisticated, knowledgeable consumers in order to choose an appropriate care center. The Eldercare Handbook answered questions before I even thought of them. I have already given this book to six friends.

Five "Well-Prepared" Stars. No, make that Six Stars!! This book belongs on the shelf or a CD disc of any family with elderly parents, relatives, or friends. Or those approaching elderly status. The Eldercare Handbook arrives just as we are informed there are over 22.4 million households caring for elderly relatives or friends, with that number expected to explode as the 'boomers' begin living longer than previous groups. That's ONE IN FOUR households and that's why this book needs to be read now by everyone and kept on the shelf or on digital media for future use. We're all on the clock.

It's said family caregivers will spend more time caring for their elderly loved ones than raising their children, as life spans extend. Even those who have already begun to travel down this road can learn some things from this book that may have not confronted them yet. Especially important is the personal story of Nurse Henry in the beginning and the short "cast studies" throughout the book.

Chapter 2, "Red Flags: Ten Signs To Watch For In Your Parents" hits the nail on the head. Some important signs are changes in eating habits, paying bills, memory problems, medications not taken, and hygiene. The information in Chapter 8 on the "Three Stages of Demetia" must be remembered. "Caregiver Burnout" is another important chapter that shows how a caregiver can easily become a patient. "The Long Term Care" chapter(s) explore the three levels very well. One stunning fact is that men are rarely caregivers, with that task most commonly falling to "spouses, daughters, and daughters-in-law, in that order". Not in my household.

A key person that is mentioned is the Hospital Discharge Planner (my caps) at the rehab facility following a stroke, who is an expert on Medicare entitlements and local services, and has tons of advice on home care assistance. There is so much more in this handbook that we all need to read and give careful consideration to each point. As a retired male who was a primary caregiver to two parents simultaneously at home for 10 years, I believe this book is an excellent overview on eldercare and gives very good specific guidance. SIX Stars!!!!

(Notes:
*Pay careful attention to the medical disclaimer at the beginning of the book, this is guidance that should be augmented by a doctor's advice.
*This review is based on a eBook download for Adobe Reader 7. Save a tree, Download your books and burn to a CD!)

I bought several books of this type and this one is by far the most helpful and informative. It was invaluable in my visits to assisted living and nursing home facilities - letting me know what to look for and what questions to ask. But there is so much more to this book than just that. If I could only buy one book to help me understand how I can help my parents this would definitely be it.

6+ stars****** My parents recently moved into an assisted living facility. I wish I had read this book before instead of just after so I could have acted sooner. It gave me strength as my mother cried to know that this too shall pass and it is truly the wisest, safest, and healthest action to take. Each day is a little better. If I had read the book earlier I would have not made excuses for the mounting behavior changes, seen through her intelligent masking of memory loss, and helped my Dad make the difficult decision earlier, probably making the move easier for both of them. Stella's gift to us of her experience through the stories makes it an easy and pleasent read. As every pregant woman reads "What To Do When You're Expecting" so should every adult with 70+ parents read "The Eldercare Handbook". At least then you'll know it's normal and can make loving, practical decisions.

After my siblings and I decided that it was time to find an assisted living community for our mother, I came upon this book by accident. I wish that I had read it months before the fact. It was a comfort to read suggestions and stories about dealing with a loved one with dementia as we hopped onto the emotional roller coaster of making hard decisions. I bought 2 copies of the book for my brother, sister, and I to share. The readings opened up a line of communication that I doubt we would have come to had we not read this book. Many questions and concerns were addressed, as well as topics that we had not thought about. I HIGHLY recommend this book!

We baby boomers may have thought we were the most informed generation of all time, but no one I know was prepared to deal with aging parents. Stella's book is a gentle study of the process physically, emotionally and spiritually, full of forgiveness and gratitude along with information you can use right now. It has been extremely helpful to me and my family, and I've given "Eldercare" to many friends who share my appreciation. Thank you, Stella.

Stella Henry has answered so many important questions about how to deal with our aging parent's needs as well as our own. This is a MUST READ for every adult child with a parent that may need our help. She deals with the emotional and physical aspects for both the parent and adult child's needs. The insite into how and when to choose a care facilty is invaluable.

I sat down for a quick look-see last night, and could not put it down until I had read all of the pertinent parts. I felt as though it had been written just for me. It is filled with love for both the elder and the caregiver and contains valuable information for the layperson struggling to do his (her) best. The book goes a long way in confronting the overwhelming problems of caregiving. I have now recommended it to each of my brothers.

Great resource. Read it before you NEED it. But let's say you're like me, you've waited too long and you're up against a wall, it's still helpful. Get tips on the fine legal issues, get support and guidelines for decision making.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough for anyone facing the challenge of managing the care of their elderly loved one! Ms. Henry speaks as a professional who has also experienced this from a personal level. It is a straightforward guide written so that the layperson can easily understand. I am purchasing this handbook for my sisters to have as a reference.