Customer Reviews

Electra Galaxy's Mr. Interstellar Feller (Love Spell)

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(11)

 

 

I wish PBB's review was here when I ordered this book and I could have saved my money. What was suppose to be a lighthearted futuristic romance with laughs was anything but.

Sagan Carter, an Earth policewoman, meets up with Captain Keir Trask, an Oceanun, and together they are suppose to thwart an intergalactic weapons plot in L.A. that could potentially kill thousands from throughout the galaxy. Within a week they clash because of their dominant personalities but still pine for each other. The weapons plot is passed back and forth throughout the story and the romance is weak and unbelievable between Sagan and Keir. There are hidden lies and Keir cannot even trust his best friend and second-in-command even though they have known and worked with each other for years.

I figured out who the No. 1 Baddie was long before it was revealed and, yes, there is unnecessary meanness and spite which doesn't help the storyline. If anything it diminished it. All over a sad excuse for romance, mystery, and humor. Save your money, you've been warned.

I bought this book because I thought it would be fun and have a unique twist. It wasn't and didn't. The plot was very predictable and the characters routine and the contest a Mr. Universe type with talent added. The only unique thing about the guy was he was 7 foot tall and light green who turned dark green when he got upset - which supposedly he never did because he was so controlled. Ha! He kept turning green every 50 pages it seemed. That was it. That was the big alien difference. And the book was mean spirited. During the pageant one contestant was very thin, but although for his planet he was "considered at the height of fashion." His posing thong fell down in the pose-off (and why didn't Sams explain how this stuff works for her readers who don't know the world of this type of contest?) and then he tripped trying to get off stage and had to half crawl off. "What was visible before he disappeared wasn't worth mentioning; the Pleidian's package wasn't nothing to write home about." Everyone laughed. The next contestant was heavy and again, the end result was the being's humiliation and laughter. So in this book we laugh at fat guys and thin guys. Sheesh. And, if the contest was really about "Mr. Interstellar," then why wasn't there anything out of the ordinary for the contestants to do? But the worst of this book was the villain. He cuts out one of his testicles with a dirty knife and it becomes septic. Does this make you gag? It did me and then he goes around ill and psychotic for most of the book. This is a galaxy civilization and they don't know about antibiotics and sterile procedures? Right. Nothing in this book was fun, light hearted or a scientific fantasy. Bad, bad, bad. I will not be reading any more of Sams.

As a rule, I force myself to read at least half a book, no matter how terrible it is. I must say, this was most certainly the worst half a book I ever read. There were problems with sentence structure, diction, plot development, and sadly much more. I guess anyone can publish a book now if they have a little money, but that doesn't mean they should.

I would not recommend wasting money on this book; if you are the type of person who likes to stop and look at train wrecks, then see if the library has a copy. If not, spare yourself.

I'd say this fails the "baby powder test". You know, when you're sitting on the toilet and you can chose between reading this and the ingredients on the back of the baby powder. I'd chose the baby powder.
Just some generic romance set in a zaney futuristic world. I saw the plot twists coming a mile away. For something that sounds so light hearted it came off as kind of mean spirited. Oh, and I forgot the "comedy" or what passes for it here.

I'm usually easy to please, all I need is a novel setting and interesting characters but this book lacks both and so much more. There is nothing new in Candace Sams' universe, the characters lack all nuance, and Sagan and Keir have no chemistry whatsoever.

Basic plot run-down: somewhere in the future some evil villainous types have stolen the banned Ache blaster weapons and are preparing to sell them to the highest bidder. In steps Earth policewoman Sagan Carter who is assigned to assist Oceanun enforcer Captain Keir Trask who is going undercover to smoke the baddies out and save the day. The undercover assignment you ask? Why he's going to enter the Mr. Interstellar Feller pageant - a galaxy wide mega event put on in Los Angeles and sponsored by the makers of the Pluto Pillow Mints.

In true romance novel fashion the two are drop dead gorgeous (more on Keir's appearance shortly) and they are instantly in lust with each other but they hate each other at the same time (isn't that original?). Of course Sagan can't abide anyone keeping secrets from her, so there's a small sub-plot to the Ache blasters with some jewels and Keir has orders from his superiors not to divulge it to anyone - just what we need to keep our two lovers at odds. How original. I think you can figure out the rest - our pair of lovebirds and Keir's winged sidekick battle the evil baddies as we sit on pins and needles (not) waiting for them to save the world.......

OK, that does all sound pretty dumb but I was willing to keep an open mind and at first start I thought it might not be that bad if one is in a fluffy novel kind of a mood. Unfortunately, the author forgot to keep her tongue firmly planted in her cheek and what might have been a fun read quickly evolved into a dreadful mess of a book. Sagan just pouted and stamped her feet all the time, while Keir spent most of it either getting aroused whilst looking at Sagan or getting ticked off at our Independent Miss and turning a darker shade of green (more on that shortly) and "growling" a lot. The baddies are waaaaaay too OTT in badness and don't you worry, you'll guess who the mysterious weapons buyer is lickety split. No surprises here (must be that editor's fault).

So, about our hero from another planet? Have I kept you wondering long enough about the big attraction? He's described as 7' tall with "gargantuan pectorals" and light green skin with blue eyes and apparently Sagan can't keep her eyes (and hands) off of him, but unfortunately for me a different image popped into my mind and once there it didn't go away, and I'm sorry I can't post that image here but yep, you guessed it - Herman Munster.

Top all that off with mediocre writing that I'm sure is all the editor's fault - including Pluto Pillow mints and Purple Porpoises on Keir's home planet with fins that glow. The story is supposedly set well into the future, yet the hotel security still has tapes for Sagan to download and splice to her heart's content (ummmm, wouldn't we be digital by now?), plus characters using slang that hasn't changed one iota in all these years (You all remember the 70's when we were saying peace and groovy? No one's doing that now, are they?). Although the hands down laugh out loud moment for me was Keir leaving the Downtown Los Angeles hotel (you all know LA's on the West coast kind of by the beach right?) to head out to the desert and points his hovercraft controls to WEST. Sigh, I guess we'd better blame that on the editor too. This book might suit in you're in the mood for a satirical farce (although I don't think that's what Sams intended), but otherwise I suggest passing on this one. Wish I had.

I agree with the person who wrote "a sad excuse for romance, mystery, and humor"

that kinda sums it up.

My first review ever written and I am sad to say it is bad.
I bought this title to see what all the hullabaloo was about and it is worse than reading the ingredient labels off pet food cans. Also the author is a loon who can't take criticism. [...]

The writing is just bad. There were times when I was embarrassed by how mediocre it was. It was like reading a teenager's diary.

I love trainwrecks, or thought I did. The worst dreck on MST3K never phased me - well, MAYBE "Castle of Fu Manchu" hurt me a bit - but this book was beyond awful even by page 50. I got farther in several of Sandra Hill's execrable Viking "comedies," even finished one! What I read of this book was a mess of ranty block paragraphs of ham-handed politics with Earth vs. Oceanum standing in for USA vs. Europe, instantaneous yet blah chemistry, and a plot ripped from the movie "Miss Congeniality." The "futuristic" elements were the type of ordinary earth things with "space" slapped onto it. Not bad enough for LULZ, just......BAD.