Elijah's Cup: A Family's Journey Into The Community And Culture Of High-Functioning Autism And Asperger's Syndrome [Paperback]

Valerie Paradiz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 30, 2005 | ISBN-10: 184310802X | ISBN-13: 978-1843108023 | Edition: Revised

This provocative and pioneering book is both a refreshing exploration of the history of autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) and a powerful story of the author's own struggle with her son Elijah's Asperger's Syndrome. From her first inklings of Elijah's difference to her discovery of a whole spectrum of another way of life that includes everything from civil rights organizations for autistics to Asperger artists, Valerie Paradiz describes how she decided to cross what she calls 'cultural boundaries' to overcome her fears about her son's condition. Her inspiring narrative offers compelling insights into daily life, Elijah's Asperger's syndrome and her own 'shadow syndrome', which affects all family members of autistics. It is also a celebration of the idiosyncratic beauty of the Asperger mind and the sense of mutual support and self-respect in the ASD community. This revised edition includes a contribution from Elijah and a new chapter that brings the story up to date: the author successfully sets up a specialist educational unit for Asperger pupils, Elijah experiences his first two years of school, and the author's dawning recognition of her own Asperger's Syndrome leads to major life changes. Elijah's Cup offers moving and insightful observations as well as factual information for parents and anyone working with people with ASDs.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This expressive and deeply felt memoir explores how the diagnosis of the author's son, Elijah, with Asperger's syndrome (a high-functioning autism) changed her life. As a young child, Elijah had delays in language and motor skills, and also suffered seizures. Paradiz, an assistant professor of German studies at Bard College, details the subsequent dissolution of her marriage (although she and her ex-husband are now friends) and her own depression, events triggered by the problems of coping with Elijah's needs. After Paradiz hired a babysitter with Asperger's syndrome and read several accounts written by people diagnosed as autistic, she understood that her son was a visual rather than a verbal thinker. (According to the author, Albert Einstein and Andy Warhol both had Asperger's syndrome.) This realization led her to provide Elijah with the repetitive activities he needed to enjoy his life. She describes their time together at Autreat, a camp for autistics that emphasizes self-advocacy, an idea that has been rejected by more traditional parents and teachers, who believe that autistics cannot know their needs. This is a moving personal story that highlights a new way of thinking about people diagnosed as autistic.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Elijah, Valerie and Ben Paradiz's only child, had some developmental problems in his early years, which were diagnosed as epilepsy. Yet the pressures of caring for the boy gradually drove Valerie and Ben apart, and they finally separated, which increased the demands on Valerie. Still, no one mentioned autism until live-in sitter Sharron Loree and Elijah's third pediatric neurologist both suggested it. Sharron, herself diagnosed with Asperger's, was able to meet Elijah on common ground. Furthermore, she and Valerie gained insight from a video and other information about Temple Grandin, the famous veterinary scientist who has autism, and they found respite and friendship with Jim Sinclair and his Autreats in the Finger Lakes region of New York. Valerie doesn't offer a typical autism story, for, as a sophisticated translator and teacher, she is highly literate, comfortable quoting from Wittgenstein and Nietzsche, and well able to avoid the personal and emotional excesses often seen in similar, less intelligent and less thoughtful testimonies. William Beatty
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 235 pages
• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub; Revised edition (March 30, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 184310802X
• ISBN-13: 978-1843108023
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,431,178 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars illuminating journey, August 28, 2003

By 

David Group (Buffalo, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Elijah's Cup: A Family's Journey into the Community and Culture of High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome (Hardcover)

This is a wonderful book of one mother's struggle to deal with a child with Asperger Syndrome, and the strain it can place on day-to-day life. There are also some fascinating anecdotes which reveal that some famous individuals may have had Asperger's-- Einstein, Wittgenstein, Andy Warhol, Andy Kaufman. The book does have some minor faults, though: the writing is a bit confused in a few spots, forcing me to read carefully to try to figure out what exactly was going on, and she introduces terms without fully explaining them ("perseverating", for example). The book, as wonderful as it is, it not as complete a guide for those looking for answers as I would have hoped. For that, I recommend the excellent HITCHHIKING THROUGH ASPERGER SYNDROME by Lisa Pyles.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Marching to a Different Drummer, September 16, 2005

By 

BeatleBangs1964 (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Elijah's Cup: A Family's Journey into the Community and Culture of High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome (Hardcover)

Valerie and Ben are devastated when their then 2-year-old son was diagnosed with autism in addition to epilepsy. Ben has trouble accepting the diagnosis and in time the marriage dissolved.

Instead of condemning Elijah to a life of labels and misperceptions about autism, Valerie Paradiz educated her small upstate New York community as well as the world at large in this book about her personal experiences with autism. Her son and father are both on the spectrum and this book is one of many that points out the genetic basis autism has.

Elijah was enrolled in special programs from the age of three and his greatest progress is made at home and with a friend he and Valerie meet. Sharron, an independent artist is herself struggling with Asperger's, the spectrum partner to autism. She recognizes in Elijah similar traits and experiences she contends with and finally receives a diagnosis. She bonded immediately with the boy and was his regular sitter for some years.

I like the way Valerie worked with Elijah; I like the way she taught him more appropriate ways of responding to peers, such as Trevor in the chess club. Trevor came away with empowered with knowledge and a chance to be more accepting of someone he sees as being "different" and Elijah understands what he can do to regulate his behaviors and move more comfortably in social circles.

I like the conversations mother and son had; I also like the outdoor programs for people on the autism/Asperger's (a/A) spectrum that are described in the book. Best of all, having autism is CELEBRATED!

I've banged on the different drum for a long time about how being on the a/A spectrum is something to celebrate. People on the spectrum have novel perceptions and unique insights that many neurotypical (NT) counterparts do not. One misperception is that people with autism all think in pictures, which simply is not true. Ben Levinson, co-author of "Finding Ben" and Sean Barron, co-author of "There's a Boy In Here" are not picture thinkers and neither are many other people on the a/A spectrum.

Meltdowns due to sensory overload are not uncommon among the spectrum. Sadly, the NT world often looks askance at those on the a/A spectrum simply from a lack of understanding of what people with autism contend with on a routine basis. Elijah, for example would vomit during thunderstorms as the noise upset him. I like the way another reviewer said in re a/A, "Vive la difference!" Wave that banner of interlocking puzzle pieces proudly - autism is NOT something to be ashamed of having!

Two songs seem to underscore this book so perfectly - Herman Kelly & Life's "Let's Dance to the Drummer's Beat" and Linda Ronstadt & the Stone Poneys 1968 song, "(Beat of a) Different Drum." With more drums beating, you get quite a tune! With more drums being beaten, you have different drummers!

People on the a/A spectrum enrich the world tremendously. The contributions are NOT limited to Temple Grandin, Andy Warhol and Einstein and other public figures. People with autism also provide ample opportunity to learn acceptance and realize the world is for everybody and not just the NT population. All too often, people on the a/A spectrum are expected to make all the concessions, especially social concessions to the NT world and try to keep track of the Tacit Social Codes & Rules, which always seem to change at the whims of the NT world.

Now let's all march to our different drummers.

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Must-read - a landmark in the literature on autism, June 3, 2003

By 

Phil Schwarz (Framingham, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Elijah's Cup: A Family's Journey into the Community and Culture of High-Functioning Autism and Asperger's Syndrome (Hardcover)

Valerie Paradiz's book Elijah's Cup is a real gem - a must-read. It is heartfelt, lyrical in its imagery, and engaging in its narrative style. But beyond that, it is a milestone in the history of autism literature. It is a parent's narrative - but it is no ordinary parent's narrative. More than any book before it in its genre, it succeeds in understanding and communicating the perspectives of those of us who, like Valerie's son Elijah, are on the autism spectrum.

Valerie instinctively sought out and took seriously the input of adults on the spectrum in the course of trying to figure out how best to be a parent to Elijah. She instinctively sought the meaning and purpose in autistic behavior - in reaction to sensory stimuli, in learning through repetition and pattern-making, in a different yet no less valid set of aesthetic sensibilities. She refused to accept the cavalierness with which the medical model of autism dismisses the relevance and meaning of autistic behavior, sensory preferences, and cognitive style, and instead correctly understood them as the ways in which we attempt to make sense of the world and communicate with it. She refused to accept as adequate the diagnostic definitions of autism that reduce us to a laundry list of negatively stated traits. She understood that Elijah, and the rest of us, are more than that.

This is what we adults on the spectrum have been trying to tell the world ourselves for the past decade and more. It is downright radical stuff to be coming from a parent. Yet it is especially important that it is coming from a parent, and from a gifted and lyrical writer to boot. By speaking as a parent, Valerie reaches and engages potential non-autistic allies - family members, professionals, friends - in ways in which even the most brilliant writing by adults on the spectrum who are not themselves parents, might not.

Valerie understood the importance of finding and connecting Elijah and herself with autistic peers, mentors, and role models. Her search for the latter, coupled with her dissatisfaction with the devaluing descriptions of autism in the literature, led her to study the history of autism and the lives of famous individuals who might have been on the spectrum. She traces the history of autism through its decades of mischaracterization by the psychotherapeutic field. She chronicles the misogyny and victimization of parents, particularly mothers, who were blamed by practitioners as the cause of their children's autism. That much, her inquiry has in common with others' histories of autism.

But with her gifted eye, she goes further: she makes palpable a keen sense of the damage that blame and relentless cause-seeking can do, the wedge it drives into the hearts of marriages, parent-child relationships, and relationships between nuclear family and relatives and friends. She makes her quest one of moving beyond blame and cause-seeking, to concern and attention to the development and vitality of the people involved, and to their connectedness with self, peers, and mentors - however different that development and connectedness with others might turn out to be. She refuses to believe that this is in any way less important for people with that diagnostic laundry list of autistic symptoms - and she is profoundly right. She remains steadfastly open to the legitimacy of the different ways in which these basic human needs are articulated and met by those of us on the spectrum. And that is what is so important about this book, why it is such a milestone.

Phil Schwarz is the vice-president of the Asperger's Association of New England. He is a parent of an autistic child, and has a mild variant of AS himself.