I'm warning you now. This is more of a rant than a cohesive, intelligent review. It will be filled with spoilers and un-ladylike language, so people of delicate sensibilities take heed.
I like Hilary Duff. I grew up with her in Lizzie Maguire, and even rocked the Lizzie hairstyle for a while. I think she has grown into a nice young starlet as opposed to, well, Lindsey Lohan.
I was curious about this book after seeing her name on it. I was interested. How much of it did Hilary actually write? Did she just tell Elise Allen "write about soulmates" and then go and get a manicure? Or did she come up with plot herself, with Elise Allen only writing it down on paper? I think, after reading it, that I know the answer. I believe this is how the conception of this book transpired:
Hilary's manager walks into Borders mistakenly, absolutely absorbed into keying things into his Blackberry. It is only when he walks into a table, toppling over a pile of books, that he looks up and acknowledges his surroundings. "Hey! This isn't Saks!" But then his eye is drawn to a picture of Lauren Conrad on the back of Sweet Little Lies. He smirks, because he has his suspicions how much of the book Lauren actually wrote. Surprisingly, he sees multiple teenagers in the check-out line with the book in hand. "Hmmpp", he thinks, "Hilary is ten times prettier and smarter and nicer than LC". Then a brilliant idea forms in his head. Hilary's name + YA book = new sports car. Excitedly, he gathers a copy of every YA book in the store and rushes back to the office to make some phone calls. "Hey, Hilary, babe....how would you like to write the ultimate YA book? "
Next time, Hilary, just say no.
This book infuriated me. How stupid do publishers think teens are? This is the same typical formula for every other YA paranormal book out there, except wrapped up in a different dress.
There was nothing special about it. No spark. The writing was dead and lifeless, as were all the characters. I was bored out of my mind with the predictability of it all when I wasn't in a rage of seething hot fury.
Clea Raymond, the narrator, is horrible. She has no personality, and nothing that distinguishes her from every other YA heroine out there. Her name is also too close to "Claire" for my liking, and those of you who've read my other rants know my reasoning for that. Clea is a stupid, vapid girl, who became absolutely insufferable after she discovered *ahem* tru wuv. That's right, folks, she has a soulmate. But don't be too jealous of her now. She also has the inexplicable burden of being caught in the middle of a love triangle. What would a YA book be without one of those? Of course, Clea had no idea her BFF Ben, had feelings for her until he started being a jealous prick. Clea, you give a bad name to women everywhere. We are girls. We always know. Platonic friends, my ass.
Of course, I could have forgiven the book for this. Love triangles are a staple because they create drama and act as filler. Except this one was so blatantly one-sided. We all know Clea lllllluuuuuurrrrvvvvessss Sage (her soulmate guy), who is also immortal. Clea herself is kind of immortal, but more on that later. I might be spoiling things a little here, but suck it up. I'm trying to save you here. Clea and Sage had known each other less than a week. At first, Clea thought he was a crazy stalker. Then she thought he was a serial killer deadset on sending her to the grave. Then all the sudden they were kissing, telling each other how much they loved each other, and having sex in a car. First off, if a guy (with the exception of Leonardo DiCaprio) lets you lose your virginity in car, he does not really love you. Second off, this guy has been around for 500 years. Do you know how many STDs he could have contracted in that time? I don't care if he's immortal. As my health teacher said, herpes can affect anybody. And lastly, WTF CLEA?!! You have known this guy one week and up until a few hours ago you thought he was going to kill you!!!!!!! WHY! And then of course, from then on, it causes her physical pain to be away from her Sagey-poo. Gag me.
I blame Clea's whore friend, Rayna. Rayna, as Clea describes her, is a "romantic" who finds a new "soulmate" everytime she leaves the house. There are words for those kinds of girls, so don't go beating around the bush. Anyway, Rayna gives Clea the poetic advice of "don't think, just feel" right before Clea goes off alone with Sage, the soulmate/stranger/serial killer. NO NO NO. Think first, Clea, think first!! Do you want to become a statistic? This book is all your fault, Rayna, and I hate you.
When everyone wasn't talking about soulmates, they were trying to figure out the mystery of where Clea's father disappeared to. Of course, the focus of the book turned to Sage as soon as he appeared. But anyway, the beginning was rather slow, but then everything happened like BAM!BAM!BAM!. Any information the reader found out was in clumps under circumstances that were too convenient for my liking. It was frustrating. A part I did enjoy was all of Clea's past lives, but those were clumped up and rushed. I think it would have been better to have them dispersed throughout the novel. The ending was also extremely abrupt with so many questions unanswered, I wanted to punch a baby at first. But then I realized the book was over, so then I felt happy again. Here are a list of my questions/complaints:
1. Does Clea not have to go to school? I'm not sure what time of the year this book is taking place, but Clea is still able to drop everything and go to South America or Japan whenever she feels like it. With only two boys for company.
2. Why do people in Japan know who Clea is? Since when is being a senator's daughter such a flippin' big deal that people on the other side of the world know who you are? I don't even know my Senators' names.
3. Why is Clea's mother so horrible? She just let's Clea have total independence. Want to go to Peru? Go ahead! Guam? Why not! Afghanistan? Be sure to bring lots of sunscreen! And you would think, her daughter apparently being such a big deal and all, she might have Clea assigned a body guard or something? Nope.
4. Why does Clea love Sage? He has no personality. She literally just decides she loves him. They didn't even have great chemistry.
5. Why are Clea and Ben immortal too? I understand Sage, somewhat, since he drank the elixir. But there is not explanation for Clea and Ben to have their souls being reborn again and again, and at random intervals.
6. What's a soul? I know what my definition of a soul is, but this book has me all confused. Why is Clea so talented in some lives, like being a singer, artist, or actress, but has no apparent talent in this life? Does a soul just mean you have the same personality (or lack of it)?
7. Why does Sage show up in Clea's pictures? Why is he sometimes floating and sometimes not? GAH NO SENSE
8. Is this the only time Clea is aware of her past lives?, or has she had the same dreams in her past?
9. Since Ben always seems to be the problem, why don't they just KILL HIM? There, problem solved. See you again in another hundred years.
I'm just so done with these crappy YA paranormals. They are all the same. My intelligence is being insulted.
