Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused [Paperback]

Dean Tong (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 10, 2002

Elusive Innocence assists parents wrongly accused of abuse and their attorneys, as well as child protective investigators during their intake assessments, therapists and judges. From actual case studies including the authors, to chapters on the accused, accuser, alleged child victim and agencies; to a detailed roadmap on how-to counter unfounded and false child abuse and/or domestic violence allegations; to Borderline Personality Disorder and Parental Alienation; and to sections on how-to choose the right lawyer, Daubert v. Frye, and "Consistent With What, Exactly?" Elusive Innocence is the all-in-one handbook every parent, defense attorney, prosecutor, judge, therapist, social worker, teacher, and police officer should read.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Dean Tong's Elusive Innocence should be a wake-up call to child advocates and lawmakers." --Kathleen Parker, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

"Required reading for any parent, lawyer, or social worker in divorces and child custody disputes." --Roy Black, Criminal Defense Attorney

"Dean Tong's Elusive Innocence should be a wake-up call to child advocates and lawmakers." -- Kathleen Parker, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

"Required reading for any parent, lawyer, or social worker in divorces and child custody disputes." --Roy Black, Criminal Defense Attorney

About the Author

Dean Tong is an internationally noted forensic trial consultant and expert who specializes in assisting parents and attorneys for contested court cases. Having been retained by wrongly accused fathers and mothers and their attorneys from 47 states in everything from child custody to domestic violence to child sexual abuse to marital rape and to shaken baby syndrome, including high-profile cases such as Elian Gonzalez and Bridget Marks, Tong is known for providing winning formulas in seemingly no-win case situations.

Product Details

• Paperback: 278 pages
• Publisher: Huntington House Publishers; 1st edition (January 10, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1563841908
• ISBN-13: 978-1563841903
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #227,914 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dean Tong, MSc., is a forensic trial consultant and expert whose practice concentrates on contested divorces, custody battles and abuse cases, nationally. He has tendered, been admitted and testified in multiple criminal and civil courts in cognitive child developmental psychology, child abuse investigations, parental alienation and sexual deviancy/interest testing. Author of the critically acclaimed book - Elusive Innocence - Tong has published three books as well as a peer-reviewed scientific journal article. His fourth book, Children of the Lie, is in the works. He has been seen on CNN, Court-TV, Dr. Phil, and scores of other broadcast programs. His web site is www.abuse-excuse.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Incisive expose of a national disgrace and cause for hope, February 14, 2002

By 

Dennis Littrell (SoCal) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused (Paperback)

At the center of this important (and frankly, long overdue) book about parents falsely accused of sexually abusing their children is a pernicious phenomenon called the "Sexual Allegations In Divorce" (SAID) syndrome. This syndrome is symptomatic of a legal and child protective services system gone horribly wrong, so that not only aren't the children being protected from abuse, they end up being abused by the system itself.

The syndrome arises when one of the parties injects false allegations of child sexual abuse into the divorce proceedings in an attempt to get the upper hand. Usually, but not always, it is the mother who does this, especially a mother who, as Tong documents, either has something to hide or is otherwise unfit to gain custody of the children. The accusation works especially well when the child is very young and is easily led by the parent who has custody. The accusation usually works because child protective services and the courts are predisposed to believe the accusing parent, sometimes in complete disregard of the evidence.

What then follows is a nightmare for all concerned, especially the children whose family is now irrevocably split. The accused parent is denied visitation rights and stigmatized as some kind of moral degenerate while the accusing parent is exposed to the children as a liar seeking vengeance. Then comes the sexual abuse interrogations of the children and the "therapy" by counselors, social workers, psychologists and/or psychiatrists.

Accused parents may now lose everything important to them, not only their children, their life savings, but their livelihood and their reputations as well. They are caught in a web of legalities and accusations beyond their ability to contend with or understand. They are drained emotionally and financially in a desperate attempt to prove their innocence. Even if they do prove that the charges are false--which, as Tong clearly shows, is very difficult--they still may not get the right to see their children because the child protection agencies typically act autonomously without regard for legal niceties concerning evidence or due process. They will even ignore the verdict of the court! Even if the accused could somehow prove his or her innocence, many people would continue to believe otherwise. Indeed, the insidiously terrible thing about charges of child sexual abuse, is that the charge, once made, never entirely goes away.

So what can you do if you are charged with sexually abusing your children by a vindictive and morally-challenged spouse who has hired a win-at-all-costs lawyer aided by child counseling people desirous of increasing therapeutic opportunities for themselves and their colleagues? Very little if you are not informed. A lot if you understand what you are up against and how the system works.

Tong begins with his own case, followed by a history of three similar cases. His narrative is compellingly written and sympathetic and arouses our profound indignation. He summarizes the case studies showing what they have in common and gives a list of indicators. Chapter 8 is a focus on the syndrome, while other chapters are devoted to each of the participants. There is a particularly devastating exposé in Chapter 10 of the misleading indoctrinational use of the infamous "anatomically correct" dolls and the damage done to children by such use. Tong shows how the children are led--I would even say brainwashed--into giving the social services people the answers they want to hear. For reasons that Tong makes clear, the answer they almost always want to hear is that the accused has sexually abused the child.

Particularly valuable are chapters 14 and 15 on "fighting back"; Chapter 17 on problems and solutions; Chapter 18 "A Self-Help Guide," and Chapter 19, "An Attorney's View," written by Charles Jamieson, who obviously has had a lot of experience in child abuse cases. The ten appendices are also valuable and interesting. There is a chapter on the Borderline Personality Disorder (subtitled: "Survival Guide for Non-BPs") because Tong believes that BPs have just the "kind of twisted and devious" minds that "would use a child as a pawn in a custody battle." (p. 171)

I would enthusiastically give this book five stars except for the fact that, although it is clearly and strongly written, fair almost to a fault at times, and of great value to those who are accused, its documentation and editing are not first rate. First of all, there is no index. In a book like this an index is essential. There are too many typos, too much repetition--some of it intentional, surely, but a lot of it gratuitous--and there are some annoying editing problems. For example:

The words, "Listen to the kids and help them deal with it... Don't act like another parent. You're supposed to be a friend, someone to help..." are attributed to "Martha" on page 82 but then to "Mary" on page 107.

When Tong writes on page 160 that if the case stays in the "gray area," the judge will rule "on the side of the child," he surely means "on the side of the accuser."

On page 162 this short list of feminist authors is given, "Steinhem, Walker, Terr, Ireland, and Allred." Their full names need to be used.

On pages 195-202 the chapter title line on the right hand pages gives the title of the previous chapter.

The outline in Appendix A is unclear and misnumbered.

In Appendix H it is not made clear that Dr. Robert Fay is (apparently) the author of pages 262-266, and not just the two indented paragraphs on page 262.

Is the "child abuse syndrome" referred to on page 241 and then again on 242 the same as the "Child Sexual Abuse Accommodation Syndrome" mentioned on page 243? At any rate, neither syndrome is explained.

Tong's is a noble cause because there is little worse than to be falsely accused of a crime and to have no redress against the accusation. This book can help.

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars False allegations are a national disgrace, November 10, 2001

By 

Charles Corry (Colorado Springs, Colorado) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused (Paperback)

It is estimated that allegations of domestic violence, abuse, or sexual abuse are presently made in one-third of all divorces, primarily to gain financial, material, or custodial advantages. Studies consistently show that only a small percentage of these criminal charges are justified. Thus, Dean Tong's book "Elusive Innocence: Survival guide for the falsely accused" is an essential reference for the tens of thousands of men trapped in the quicksand of false allegations every year. The book should also be read by every legislator, attorney, judge, mental health professional, victim's advocate, social worker, and child protective service worker dealing with these issues.

False allegations destroy lives, careers, fathers, and children with no gain to anyone except the divorce industry and its parasitic practitioners. Tong gives the background on such sicknesses as the SAID (Sexual Abuse In Divorce) syndrome, the domestic violence industry, borderline personality disorder (BPD), and how the falsely accused can defend themselves in nineteen chapters. Included are case histories, the views of attorneys and mental health professionals, case citations, where to find help, and useful tests. I found especially relevant the extensive documentation of how a man can show he is not violent and not inclined to molest children.

One unaddressed issue is how someone who has served in Marine Corps infantry, as I have, can prove themselves nonviolent when faced with such false accusations. By inference, every man who has served in a combat military organization is a "trained killer" when accused of domestic violence under current laws. But that absence is a trifling drawback to an otherwise excellent book. If you have been falsely accused this is one book you must read.

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Handbook for Understanding False Accusations, December 9, 2001

By 

Dr. Joseph J. Plaud (Whitinsville, MA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused (Paperback)

Dean Tong's Elusive Innocence: Survival Guide for the Falsely Accused is a magnificent and much needed handbook to separate fact from fiction in understanding the range of important issues regarding child abuse. What makes Mr. Tong's handbook so important and unique is that it can be used by both the public and professionals alike, and for many who do not understand or appreciate the issues involved in accusations of child abuse, this book will truly open your eyes! Mr. Tong's writing is superb, the organization of the book, intermixing personal stories with legal and social issues, provides for a wonderful reading, and the appendices offer a wealth of resources of information for those needing assistance. I recommend this book most highly for everyone interested (and everyone should be interested) in how our society's laws have developed to protect children, and how these laws are being used to perpetrate what Mr. Tong refers to as "the reverse cycle of child abuse." This book is simply a must-read for all who want to know what is happening in our society regarding the abuse of children. Elusive Innocence is a singular and comprehensive resource that will make you think, and perhaps act, so that our society will more equitably address this important topic, protecting both children and those who stand accused.