Embracing Persephone: How to Be the Mother You Want for the Daughter You Cherish [Paperback]

Virginia Beane Rutter (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 18, 2001

As Demeter loses Persephone to the Underworld, many mothers feel they are losing their daughters during the adolescent years. In this book, a Jungian analyst gives mothers positive, solution-oriented strategies for minimizing conflict and for coming to terms with their changing role.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Rutter (Celebrating Girls) employs the ancient Greek myth of Persephone--who leaves her mother, Demeter, each winter to be Hades' wife--to underscore the cyclical nature of the relationship between mother and daughter, in which separation and reunion are recurring themes. The analogy works well, and Rutter effectively makes the point that a mother must accept her daughter's coming of age while remaining constant and supportive. Rutter's text is practical, offering solid advice for use in the contemporary world of adolescent girls. She covers such topics as sexual issues, body image, drugs and peer influence, suggesting that mothers must be open to the realities of their daughters' lives while offering honest advice. She also urges women to recall their own adolescence in order to provide guidance and empathy. Rutter's comforting message regarding the pattern of loss and return inherent in raising an adolescent of any gender rings true, and a final chapter addressing the mother's own self-discovery in coping with "empty nest" syndrome is also reassuring. Mothers will find this an insightful book on the subject of raising teenage daughters as well as a helpful guide to their own self-reflection. (Jan.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

An adolescent girl's world is more complex and simply "wilder" than her mother's probably was. Rutter, a practicing psychologist and author of Celebrating Girls and Woman Changing Woman explores this idea by interweaving interviews and clinical perspectives with the myth of Persephone and her mother, Demeter. Along the way, she suggests strategies for mothers on guiding their daughters through the risky passage to maturity and promotes maternal self-reflection, flexibility, and permissiveness. Rutter's main goal is to help mothers stay "connected" to their daughters. She gives tips on communicating with teenagers, fostering a healthy body image, and dealing with sexual identity issues, friendships, and drug and alcohol abuse. Rutter also suggests positive ways to handle the "empty nest" syndrome and addresses the role of fathers in girls' development. This book would be useful even for all parents with teenage sons. Literary yet down-to-earth, this is recommended particularly for public libraries in suburban settings.AAntoinette Brinkman, Southwest Indiana Mental Health Ctr. Lib., Evansville
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Conari Press (February 18, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1573245631
• ISBN-13: 978-1573245630
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #774,228 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful book, June 18, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Embracing Persephone: How to Be the Mother You Want for the Daughter You Cherish (Hardcover)

I am a psychologist working with adolescent girls. I also have a 12 year old daughter, and I have been in the field of adolescent psychology for the past 20 years. This is one of the best books writen for mothers and daughters. This book breaks the false belief that mothers and daughters must have conflict. Embracing Persephone illustrates the depth and spirituality of the mother daughter relationship while interweaving sound psychological advice through many vibrant examples. Rutter is a very possitive author with hope and faith in the mother duaghter relationship. This book also reveals the strength in girls. One of the most satisfying books to read about possitive deep relationships between mothers and daughters. I have recommended it to many friends and clients.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Embracing Persephone, March 8, 2003

By 

Cassandra Barnes "Cassandra" (California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Embracing Persephone: How to Be the Mother You Want for the Daughter You Cherish (Paperback)

In a time long ago and far away, the god of the Underworld, Hades, abducted Persephone, daughter of the goddess Demeter. Demeter grieved so deeply that the lush vegetation of Earth died. Hades eventually returned Persephone for six months of every year. During this time, Demeter's joy allows the plants to again grow. Traditionally, this has been the story of why we have winter and summer seasons.

Virginia Beane Rutter has another interpretation of the ancient story. She says "this myth directly invokes your relationship with your adolescent daughter as you brave her exciting but terribly risky passage to becoming a woman." Rutter is psychotherapist and Jungian analyst, with two children of her own. Embracing Persephone is her third book.

In it, she provides a wealth of advice, strategies, and wisdom for coping with the critical adolescent years. Rutter emphasizes throughout that mothers must grow along with their daughters. Mothers dealing with their daughters' issues often find themselves dealing with their own issues as well. She offers lots of encouragement, saying that "being aware of yourself and your daughter does not mean that you will handle every situation perfectly." Her focus is on establishing and keeping an ongoing relationship with daughters.

She says that "to have any influence over your daughter, you must value your relationship more than your need to control her." This can sometimes mean permitting her to do things you'd prefer she'd not do. The key is teaching daughters to accept responsibility for their choices.

Rutter discusses issues such connecting, even when conflicts seem unresolvable, body image, sexual exploration, and drugs and alcohol. Each section includes examples from real teenage girls and their mothers of how they handled some of their expectations and conflicts.

Adolescent girls face monumental challenges. Because of the way in which the world has changed, many of these challenges are different than those experienced by their parents. Embracing Persephone "will help you identify the issues that trigger conflict with your daughter [and] provide you with strategies for keeping your relationship open." It's a book that belongs in every household with a teenage girl.