Customer Reviews

Embracing Your Father: How to Build the Relationship You Always Wanted with Your Dad

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A wonderful relationship with your father is truly one of life's greatest joys. But how can we find this if we don't already have it? Dr. Nielsen's book provides many practical and creative suggestions for doing just this. We did not choose our father or the life we had as a child. However, we can choose to change the way we interact with our dad once we are adults. Dr. Nielsen uses a variety of interesting techniques: short questionnairss to focus on specific problems; "Eye Opener" research summaries to provide perspective; and sample dialogues to help us get started talking with our dad. Dr. Nielsen's academic credentials give her the credibility to write this ground-breaking book. And her warm, encouraging voice and helpful ideas give us the courage to actually try to reconnect with our dad. I am recommending this book to all of my friends who are puzzled, angry, or disappointed with their father. It's never too early, or too late, to start.

As a former student in Dr. Nielsen's Fathers and Daughters course at Wake Forest University, I completely disagree with Publishers Weekly's review of Dr. Nielsen's book. This book is not about guilt. It is, like Dr. Nielsen's course, about helping fathers and daughters to develop positive relationships. Taking Dr. Nielsen's course and reading her book was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. By using Dr. Nielsen's approach, my father and I have developed a very close relationship--one that I never thought would be possible. Based on my conversations with other former students of Dr. Nielsen's, they have had very similar experiences. I wish that every daughter had the opportunity to take Dr. Nielsen's course. For those who can't, her book is a must.

Since my daughter became a teenage, she and my husband have had a difficult time. All too often I found myself getting in the middle of things. Realizing that I might be contributing to the problem, I began a search for materials that might help all of us. A search on Amazon.com led to Dr. Nielsen's book. After reading this book, I came to understand how my stepping in might have actually made the situation worse. Dr. Nielsen offers a lot of good ideas about how to deal with the father/daughter relationship--some of which are especially helpful to mothers. My husband is now reading the book and is willing to make use of many of the strategies and ideas presented by Dr. Nielsen. Getting my daughter to read the book will be a little more difficult, but my husband and I believe it will be worth the effort. As you can see, I highly recommend this book.

I had not talked much to my father until I read this book ..mainly because my mother hates him . So the chapter about mothers really hit home. Now that I am doing some of the things the author suggested, my relationship with my dad is already improving. I was skeptical at first because I did nøt think there was much hope for us. But I was wrong. The ideas in this book are really working. And I see that I have been wrong about many of the assumptions I was making about my dad. I have already sent a copy of the book to my two sisters.

I highly recommend Dr. Nielsen's book and suggestions for anyone who wants a deeper relationship with their father. At the time I took her class I was a junior in college with a 3 month old son and a father who was a pastor that I had always had a hard time communicating with. Through her suggestions, relationship building tools, encouragement and understanding I started building the relationship that every daughter desires and needs to have with their father. With Dr. Nielsen's help I realized that if a daughter never embraces their father, his experiences, and understands his love they will never truly understand and love themselves. I am very excited to finally have Dr. Nielsen's insights and wisdom in book form so that other daughters and fathers can benefit, not just those who were fortunate enough to have her as a professor.

The book is addressed to daughters who miss their fathers, physically, emotionally etc. But I gained a lot of insights on what daughters really expect and miss from fathers. Dr.Nielson takes the reader through a human development cycle on how much daughters can give their fathers in terms of love and opportunities to learn, grow and become better human beings, and contribute to family solidarity through empathy. Dr.Nielson advocates a "voluntarist" conception of love. A great departure from screaming "what's in it for me?" That is not to say that she discounts reciprocity in relationships.

The context addressed is set in the US culture of the post 1960 decades. However, the basic motivations are applicable universally. I have lived in the US among young people for over 12 years as a student and as a Univ Faculty. Now, in India I perceive the same problems and the message that parents have even more to learn through interaction with their children. The emphasis on daughters adds more emotional content and nuances to the discourse. I would observe that most of the problems and solutions discussed in the book apply equally well to sons.

There is an elemental message that runs through the book. It urges parents to come out of their pre-conceived roles, inhibitions and relate directly one to one with their children. It echoes TSElliot's view that a cultural role is only a formal outcome of fundamental motivations and rationale`. We will be better off looking for those fundamental rationale` instead of assuming roles and be mere consumers.

This book is the most insightful, rewarding book I have read in years. Dr. Nielsen unfolds and unlocks real information in a format that you can grasp and apply. It should be a required read for every female, even if she has a good relationship with her father or her father has passed. Pure unlightenment and understanding ~ that is what you walk away with after reading this book. It was very, very helpful to understand more completely the demeaning and demoralizing of divorced fathers. I believe this is a real issue in today's world and she addresses it head on. I would love to see a book by this title from Dr. Nielsen. What a gift to the world that book would be! I hope to see Dr. Nielsen on Oprah and Dr. Phil promoting her book very soon.

As my daughters re-connected with their dad (because of Dr. Nielsen's father/daughter course) after 20 years of minimal contact, I felt threatened and insecure. After all, I had them to myself all these years. Would they shift their love to him? Would they blame me for the lack of contact? After reading the book, I realized they can have a relationship with both of us, separately. It's still hard, but Dr. Nielsen's book helps explain why I have these fears and why I shouldn't feel threatened by them reaching out to their father.

As a family therapist for more than 30 years, I have never found a book as well researched (more than 450 references - almost all of which have been published in the past 6 years) and as filled with practical ideas and insightful advice as this. I have already begun using some of Nielsen's suggestions with my clients. I highly recommend that other therapists get this book into the hands of daughters, mothers and fathers - especially in families where the parents are divorced. Nielsen is a straighforward, yet sensitive, psychologist.

Taking time out to read this book has been a blessing to my life and so many of my sisters. We are single mothers who have been divorced and raising girls on our own. The importance of relationships with our daughters and their fathers is essential and Dr. Nielsen did a wonderful job making the interactions realistic and meaningful. I would recommend this book to all of my african american sisters who often times need alittle help from the fathers of their daughters. Thank you Dr. Neilsen for your caring enough to give us sisters a hand at mending and reintiating father-daughter relationships. I can't wait to read more!