Customer Reviews

Emily Post's Etiquette

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I have owned a current edition of Emily Post's Etiquette since I was in high school. In fact, I bought the 16th edition so quickly after it came out that I became the owner of a signed first edition and didn't realize it for almost a year. What a comfort to see new subjects addressed! It was high time for this revision. My mother was the first person to impress the importance of manners upon me. At first I thought what most people think - that the situations described in this book don't happen to most people. Once I had attended my first formal dinner, I sure was glad I knew what to do with all those glasses and pieces of silverware...after all, this was something my lower middle-class upbringing had not prepared me for. This is also a great reference for everyday occurrences, such as writing a thank-you note (there IS an art to this) and communicating with your boss. Every home should have one, so at least if an unfamiliar situation does crop up the tools to prepare for it are at your fingertips. If you think no one notices the nuances of behavior, you're wrong.

I find this book to be a valuable tool to help navigate the often-complex world in which we live. It provides guidance in a whole host of areas, from gracious dining to the business world, from protocol for visiting the Pope to dealing with employees in your home. It covers a broad spectrum of situations, and helps to ensure that the right decisions are made, and that behavior is polite and proper.

The book is broken down into the following sections: Formalities; Your Personal Life; Your Professional Life; Communications; Travel & Tipping; Entertaining and Entertainments; Celebrations and Ceremonies; Gifts, Giving, & Thank-Yous; and Weddings. Each section offers tips and suggestions for making relations between you and others go as smoothly as possible. In this fast-paced world, we need manners more than ever, if only to ensure that life remains civilized, and this book helps determine the best way to proceed if you're unsure. All in all a wonderful reference for anyone who ever has to deal with another human being either socially or professionally. Don't hesitate, buy it!

While the 16th edition of Emily Post's etiquette continues to be the foremost authority on etiquette, Peggy Post has let things slide from its original heritage. I was disappointed enough to seek out an older edition ((c)1940) which I found used on the internet for less than the new edition. What's the difference you might ask? Being able to compare the two I can tell you that the most detailed and well explained traditions are cut and pasted from the original edition. The new parts on email, etc. are of little value. For example, don't write emails in CAPS, and don't use other peoples' computers without permission. Peggy Post has also interjected editorials on political correctness here and there which, regardless of one's political views, are out of place here. In discussing a courtesy as simple as a man holding a door for a lady, Peggy Post talks about how terrible it is that men think that women are too weak to hold open their own doors. But have no fear, she concludes after her diatribe, that a man should still hold a door for a lady. That said, for the most part, this is still the best you are going to find in current publication and it continues to be comprehensive and accurate.

Having owned this book for a couple of years I can attest to referencing it once a month. This book is like a dictionary and should be owned by everyone who has ever had a wedding, been invited, baby shower, or attended a funeral. This book is a fabulous gift idea. I have given it on more than one occasion with rave reviews. If more people read this book "what a wonderful world it would be".

This book has great suggestions on everything from how to correctly crack lobsters, to how to use silverware, and what to expect and do when going to a Buddhist temple, Hindu temple, or a synagogue.

It tells what should happen to gifts given during an engagement that is broken off, suggestions for brunch menus, and includes a large section on wedding ettiquette. It also provides a good deal of information about traditional customs.

The size of the book is rather cumbersome, so it would be best used as a reference manual.

Change, as my dear husband noted, is morally neutral -- neither good nor bad in itself.

However, I think I prefer the older versions of _Etiquette_, in part because I loved Mrs. Kindhart and Mr. Gilding and Mrs. Oldname and all of the other marvelous people that populated the earlier books (pseudonyms for the friends to whom Emily Post dedicated the original 1922 book). My old friends seem to have been ruthlessly murdered in the "modernized" version.

In addition, Peggy Post seems to countenance "innovations" that I believe the original author would have scorned, such as inviting "John Smith and Guest," without bothering to find out whom your supposed friend is seeing these days and whether or not this is a person whom you would actually want to invite (your brother's ex-wife? Your boss's wild daughter? The employee you fired? The potential is endless).

But beyond that, there is something missing in the style. It carries the cachet of the time-honored Post name, but less of her wit and sparkle.

I think Emily Post may have had fun writing her book, and Peggy Post may have thought it uphill work -- or perhaps her writing was excellent originally and her editors created hash from it; at any rate, the writing style is less formal than I hoped (the informality subtly reduces its authority), and it sometimes reads like a committee bickered over each phrase, and occasionally like no one was particularly paying attention.

So I am somewhat disappointed, but primarily because I adored the earlier versions; doubtless there are many who prefer the new version for exactly the reasons that I dislike it.


I also note on the author's website that the 17th edition was released on October 26, 2004, so perhaps if you choose to read a "modern version," you will want to get the most recent.

I read the 1st edition online (do an internet search) and although it was out-of-date it's advice and insight is timeless. If you obey the rules of that book you still cannot go wrong today.

My disappointment might have more to do with how ettiquette has changed than with the book itself. It recommends certain manner that would have been unacceptable to Emily such as introductions and greetings.

I would still recommend you buy this book, but definitely read the 1st edition before you do so. The combination of the two will better prepare you to adapt to each situation allowing you to exceed today's standards and impress others.

Ms. Post is a Post by marriage only - perhaps that explains why she didn't inherit Emily Post's good sense. No wonder people are doing so many incorrect things - horrible etiquette books like this are giving improper advice. I realize that conventions change to meet the times, but advising people that it is acceptable to wear black to a wedding or that a bride may discreetly write "no gifts, please" on a wedding invitation is just telling people to act in poor taste. Isn't that the whole reason people read etiquette books in the first place?

Do yourself a favor and buy any of Judith Martin's Miss Manners books. Emily Post may have the better-known name, but Miss Manners gives the better advice.

This book offers guidelines for just about any situation. The book is user-friendly and well-organized and would be a great addition to anyone's bookshelf.

Perhaps the most useful quick-check reference guide out there. Includes a lot of modern etiquette...very useful.