Customer Reviews

Emotional Alchemy: How the Mind Can Heal the Heart

5 star:		(32)
4 star:		(14)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

The emotional impact of delving into "schemas" as defined by Goleman was huge.

While intellectually I was aware of childhood influences on my adult being, Goleman's work puts those experiences, and our resultant coping mechanisms, or schemas, into a solid framework.

I had never given thought to how deeply rooted the schemas of abandonment, deprivation, subjugation, mistrust and unlovability were in my own life, or in the life of my signficant other.

Descriptions and vignettes presented by the author brought me to shaking and shuddering tearfulness as long-dormant emotions rose to the surface. At the same time, I could see my partner's schemas at work on both her and on our relationship.

For the first time outside of a pure academic exercise, I highlighted the book as relevancy to my life swirled inside of my head. I later actually wrote out 12 single-spaced pages of notes about these revelations to later share with my partner.

I sent her the book (since she's now moved 1500 miles away. . .) with the promise that we shall discuss in detail once she finishes. Behaviors as individuals and as a couple NOW make sense. What was inexplicable and frustrating before now have a plausible framework.

Most importantly, the author's strategy and techniques for employing "mindfulness," or the way to see things as they are, is very useful and sensible. The ability to recognize the power of our schemas and then help to turn maladaptive schemas away from controlling our lives is totally understandable and useful.

She adroitly blends in various underpinnings for her theory ranging from the latest psychological therapy techniques to the quieting powers of reflection as exercised within Buddaism and other far eastern religions.

This is one of those books that can serve as a personal turning point. It certainly did for me. Personal fears and doubts and needs are now understood.

Mindfulness meditation is now part of my daily mechanism to overcome the previously underestimated power of maladaptive schemas on my life.

Thanks for sharing the wisdom Tara.

I had the pleasure of editing this book for Harmony, and I've never been more helped and enlightened by a book I've worked on than I have by EMOTIONAL ALCHEMY. It is so rare to find a book that combines original insight with an actual practice that can bring the insights to you in an immediate and personal way. It is even rarer to find such a book that is beautifully written, full of stories and wisdom woven seamlessly together. Rarer still is to find an author as authentic, caring and generous as Tara--so true to her message. I can't recommend this book highly enough.

Years ago I attended one of Tara and her husband Daniel's weekend seminar on meditation. I remember feeling a lightness and ease in myself after this seminar. I found a similar experience with reading Tara's book, Emotional Alchemy. Through Western psychology and Buddhist mindfulness Tara guides the reader in self discovery. According to Tara "Mindfulness means seeing things as they are, without trying to change them." I had not previously heard of the practice of mindfulness, but it rang true for me. I feel I will revisit Tara's book again and again as it is a great resource for personal transformation.

I you enjoyed this book, I highly recommend reading another book called "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane. The Kane's approach to modern day enlightenments is based on simple awareness where mechanical behavior can transform enabling you to lead an authentic life, one with meaning and satisfaction. Thanks to all the authors of these two wonderful books!

Alchemy is the process of transformation. It describes "the process of integrating mindfulness with emotional work." "Mindfulness means seeing things as they are, without trying to change them." (p. 6) Tara is an excellent guide. Mindfulness grows on you as you ponder through the numerous personal and therapy stories and descriptions. You really learn to appreciate and taste the contemplative, compassionate, accepting, equanimous, present-focused, light-hearted and liberating mindfulness permeating throughout the book.

At the recommendation of Fr. Anthony de Mello, 10 Catholic priests, including myself, and 8 Sisters (doing a full-year's Sadhana) had the privilege of following S. N. Goenka, for intensive Vipassana or Insight Meditation retreats at Igatpuri, near Bombay, in India, in 1976. The focal point was on sharpening our awareness of breathing, thoughts, body sensations, feelings and accepting whatever IS without judging.

Tara has followed Goenka and many other masters. She suggests many easy-to-follow exercises for awareness and integration. You pick up such awareness by osmosis in reading the book and practising the exercises.

Dalai Lama wrote the Foreword. Though Buddhists like Goenka, Thich Nhat Hanh, Dalai Lama and many Zen and Tibetan masters have done much to popularise "mindfulness", you don't have to believe in Buddha to practise such mindfulness.

About 3 decades ago, Beisser, summarized the essence of Gestalt Therapy as "The paradoxical law of change": "When you accept what IS, change occurs." That is mindfulness. Charles T. Tart, Andrew Weil and many others have all written on mindfulness without a religious context..

Tara not only conveys the spirit of mindfulness here. She explains the changes in the brain and adopts the framework of Cognitive or Schema Therapy. Applying mindfulness to our schemas--mental models, ingrained patterns of perception and response or screening filters--is a fruitful path to inner freedom. 10 maladaptive emotional habits and patterns are described: Abandonment, Deprivation, Subjugation, Mistrust, Unlovability, Exclusion, Vulnerability, Failure, Perfectionism, Entitlement. This is a very concise and illuminating study of developmental psychology. 2 pages on entitlement schema (pp. 93-95) are very relevant for the "Age of Entitlement" (cf. Robert J. Samuelson).

From Part I on Emotional Alchemy, you go on to Things as They Seem, then A Mindful Therapy and end in Part IV with Spiritual Alchemy. It is such an enriching journey to awareness, insight and true freedom. Space prohibits any further elaboration. If only everyone, regardless of any religious affiliation, can follow the practice and embark on this journey, what a transformed world we'd be!

[It should be interesting to integrate the scientific studies of the HearthMath System with mindfulness, to relate it not only to the brain, but to the physical heart as well. In Vipassana, we literally focus on the heart to send metta or love vibrations.]

This is a beautiful book. And by a beautiful human being. But we have to see where we are going. The author has, intentionally or unintentionally, created a new therapy. It is called Emotional Alchemy. Emotional Alchemy begins with Insight Meditation. Vipassana. The author then combines Insight Meditation beautifully with Schematic Therapy. She lists ten "schemas" for people with deep emotional problems. This book can be a Godsend. But the author is creating a new therapy. Does it work? I went to the website listed by her in the back of the book. They have 16 "schemas" listed there. As opposed to her 10. I took the long test there and scored 55% on "Entitlement". Tara Bennett-Goleman suggests that one concentrates on the largest "shema" at once. Like Jack Kornfield, she believes that meditation can not cure mental illness. We have certain parts of our brains which will simply deny access no matter what. Even until we die. The wonderful revalations that come through this book is that she simply tells you where she is going to and where she has come from. This is entirely ignored by well-meaning new-age gurus such as Kornfield and Levine. They give out meditations in their books which more or less proclaim themselves as Buddhas! Tara Bennett-Goleman does no such thing. Her works are based on cognitive therapy, neuroscience, and insight meditation. With a foreward by the Dalai Lama, this is a pivotal work toward helping those with

emotional problems. After seven years of homelessness, I still fall into the "schema" of Entitlement. You will also spot the schemas of Deprivation (emotional), Subjagation, Unloveability, ans so on. She is really postulating a theory in this book. Certain parts of the brain can not be accessed without something deeper than meditation. I appauld her efforts. Especially since she is not trying to merge Western Psychology with Buddhism as the authors that I mentioned are trying to do.

But Insight Meditaion co-joined with Schematic Therapy will simply need more work. I think she may do it. But not in this book. I shall wait. Both the book and the author are real gems. Buy the book and get ready for a "seperate" Buddhist Therapy. God bless you.

I have spent years working through my psychological problems, and I have ordered -- and read -- many self-help books from Amazon.com in the process. Almost every one of those books has contributed a piece of the puzzle, but this one delivers a whole chunk of it. It helps organize "tough-nut-to-crack" psychological issues into patterns and shows how to tackle them. It also shows how meditative mindfulness can help. I am only half-way through the book and already I am seeing -- and approaching -- my own life and my relationship with my husband differently. Thank you, Tara Bennett-Goleman, for sharing your powerful understanding! In my library, this ranks right up there with Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch as a book that provides far-reaching, actionable insights.

This is a book holding a very strong transforming ability if you take it's lessons to heart. Tara Bennett-Goleman melds eastern and western ideas into a theroy of self revelaion that is at once simple in it's statements yet deep and meaningful the more you probe the questions and ideas posed. She writes in a very approchable manner and I never once felt talked down to. She first offers an in-depth explanation of her ideas of inner peace and how to achive it, then shows you how to apply it to every day issues like breaking bad habits, relationships, findig out where some of your emotions come from, death and spirituality. There is a wonderful introduction by the Dalai Lama included that sets the stage for the ideas to come. On a superficial (yet telling) note, the book has a very subdued dust cover, but underneath it comes to life in color and grandeuer. A marvel to look at!

I've gained much insight from this book and am sure to be referring to it again and again. This is a book everyone should read, but especially if you're interested in growing as a human being and learning just what makes YOU tick. Are you up to the challenge?

Although nothing in this book is new if you've read material on mindfullness/meditation, Buddhism, and schema therapy, Bennett-Goleman pulls the three subjects together and integrates them successfully. I found myself reading the book slowly and thoughtfully, savoring each chapter.

If you, like me, find yourself having the same emotional reactions over and over (for instance, your spouse or mother seem to keep pushing your buttons), this book will help you recognize your schema (automatic reactive patterns) and help you to stop reacting to them.

I could not put this book down once I started reading it. I only wish I'd had this information years ago -- It would have saved much pain & anguish. The author teaches us that as we learn to understand our own "schema-driven" thoughts & actions, we can live more peaceful, productive lives. I will forever be indebted to Tara Bennett-Goleman for the years of study & dedication she put in to bring this book to fruition. If you've ever been puzzled by your own actions ( as well as those closest to you), this book will open your eyes. I highly recommend it.

This book is amazing! While it is true, as another reviewer noted, that this book may not tell you anything you've never heard before, it's the way Ms. Goleman delivers it that makes such an impact. I'd read and heard about mindfulness, about schemas and all that, but I never "got it" until I read THIS BOOK. And it changed my life! It got me to change my thinking about people and what they do and say, and my relationships, especially my marriage, improved tremendously. I was miserable with much of my life before I studied this book, and now, well, I've never been happier! (If you don't believe me, just ask my husband!:)) Thank you Ms. Goleman, for a brilliant book. I hope many, many more people will benefit from it as much as I have.