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Emotional Assault: Recognizing an Abusive Partner's Bag of Tricks [Kindle Edition]

Leah E. Smith
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $3.99
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Book Description

When most people think of abuse, images of domestic violence come to mind. However, emotional abuse is a form of indirect violence that also deserves recognition. It is difficult to overcome because it is often impossible to identify. While domestic abuse is tragic, it is impossible to ignore the evidence of it.

The impact of emotional abuse, on the other hand, is often invisible. Since others don’t see any physical scars, they have no idea how much the victim is suffering. When the emotionally abused spouse speaks up, people are often dismissive of her pain. This leaves the victim in a constant state of confusion and self-blame.

In this book, author Leah Smith identifies several common tactics that emotionally abusive people use to control their partners, such as giving the silent treatment or playing the victim. She uses examples from her relationship with her former husband to help readers name abusive tactics in their own relationships. After identifying a trait of emotionally abusive partners, the author goes on to offer suggestions on how to confront it. She makes it clear that calling an abuser out on his behavior may not make it stop and that each woman needs to decide for herself if her relationship is worth saving.

The second section of "Emotional Assault" helps the reader assess her current relationship and provides resources should she decide to end it. This book is hopeful and engaging while empowering emotionally abused women to change their lives. In February 2014, Leah Smith added a third section detailing how she got out of her emotionally abusive first marriage.

A woman who makes the decision to leave her partner must still interact with him when they have children together, sometimes for many years. Those who are looking for additional support may want to check out Leah Smith's book "Out of the Fog: Post-Divorce Coping Strategies When Your Children’s Father Has a Personality Disorder".

Product Details

  • File Size: 499 KB
  • Print Length: 74 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,470 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
33 of 34 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A book borne out of experience August 4, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
For years, the author didn't understand why she was on pins and needles, trying desperately to please her husband. She was taught to submit to him, to put him first, to do all of the things a wife should do. Instead, her husband made her jump through higher and higher hoops and played a barrage of emotional tricks on her to keep her in her place.

I found this book very eyeopening because once you recognize the tricks, you can objectively deal with it without getting your emotions embroiled. Yes, it may be difficult, but the end result is you realize that you can never get the approval of a narcissistic personality. NEVER.

The bag of tricks points to an insecure person who only cares about himself or herself and his/her image. Everything he/she does is designed to protect his/her own ego and truly, you are only there to the effect that you enhance his/her image and ego.

What's even worse is this narcissistic person appears on the surface to be "such a nice guy" or "what a wonderful gal" to outsiders. They are oftentimes charming, sociable, reasonable and jolly with outsiders, behaving like attentive spouses and charming partners in front of others.

The effect of this is to isolate you, the victim, even further. Not only are you to blame for everything that goes wrong in the narcissistic person's life, you are also to blame for asserting your own needs and for the relationship failing.

Perhaps the most lasting insight of all is that the narcissistic person is NOT in love with YOU. He/she is only in love with his/her CONTROL of YOU.

There are basically two things you can do. a) accept the limitations of this personality and call him/her out every time the trick is played on you. If the person has even a smidgen of conscience (i.e.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow. July 7, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Reading this short book is like sitting down with the kindest friend in the world and not having to explain anything because she already understands. This was so healing for me.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy to read and packs a punch! August 10, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As a Psychologist I will encounter many who are engrossed in or recovering from all types of abuse. This book recognizes the tactics that abusers use on their victims. Lisa's personal experience and ability to step beyond the abuse enables readers to recognize their own circumstances and brings hope to those who are in the midst of an abusive relationship. For those who are in the process of recovering, Lisa's experience and easy writing style brings hope of eminent victory over the guilt often carried by those who are victimized! I plan to purchase enough to keep on hand to give to others who desperately need to recognize these tactics used by their abuser and learn how to establish safe boundaries. Profound story of personal personal experience. Very well written....very well done!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
This book hits home not just for me but with many individuals. Ladies and Men alike!

Emotional Assault explains the different tactics that individuals use to control the other person in the relationship. What steps they would take to control the other and how to manipulate them while making others think everything is hunkey dory. I know weird choice of words but so very true.

While reading this book I came across scenarios that I have also been a part of on both ends of the scale, from emotional abuse that was very verbal, to physical as well. One can't stop people from viewing physical abuse but mental emotional abuse might not leave a physical scar but can definately leave invisible ones like gaping wounds that one never heals from.

As someone that has been thru this at times the person on the recieving end is blind to what the abuser is doing to them. They think this is normal and nothing is wrong and refuse to believe that things need to change. Eventually they come to a breaking point. That breaking point opens floodgates as emotions rip apart and after that the whole scene comes so much clearer.

Why is this the case? The abusee finally comes to the conclusion that this isn't right, that they shouldn't have to deal with this, and that its not love that causes the abuser to treat them as such. They finally start to get a fresh perspective and want to have a good change for themselves.

So how does this pertain to the book? Well in the book the different tactics are outlined with clear examples from the authors own life to explain how her ex husband used these tactics during and after her relationship with him ended.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Pretty much the same stuff July 26, 2013
By Kay
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I have read many books on emotional abuse. This is one person's story, yet was very easy to relate to it. Abusers have common characteristics, that's for sure. Part of me felt that at least someone 'gets it', and another part of me is very sad that I can relate to this story because I'm living it. I did appreciate her honesty. I would have liked to see more of how she managed the whole process of breaking free (more detail).
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Dual narcissistic relationship? October 22, 2014
By Darcy
Format:Kindle Edition
The books title led me to believe this would be about researched and credible information regarding emotional assault, it's definition, and tricks an abuser uses to act it out. Instead, this is a story about author's relationship with prior spouse, tricks they played on each other, and the roller coaster of a ride they made their children ride along in with them.
Most parts I liked was when she referenced others work that helped her, such as emphasizing author Alice Walker's quotes hinting that a friend or partner is not a good one if they demand your silence and block personal growth.
What I didn't like is that this book blasts to two innocent children's that their father has a pornography addiction, personality disorder, and their mother is a jealous, unforgiving, and selfish person who ensured she rattled him out for ever flaw, and when done with him, jumped right back into another relationship, and moved herself and girls in with him. Moving in/out of exes home,then on to a new person, and marrying within a year must have been confusing for the kids.
During the relationship with 'abuser', she was determined to catch him doing something wrong, and almost seemed happy to catch him when he did...even after relationship ended, she went as far as mailing him pornography receipts she found to prove to him she caught him. She was 'deeply hurt' that he couldn't talk to her about relationship problems while he was at work. It almost seemed she lived to be the victim. There is part where they attended counseling, giving thought the man was okay with seeking help, yet she didn't like it, and stopped going. She claims 'abuser' didn't like her family yet in other chapters depicts she had a childhood of violence and sexual abuse, which makes sense why he might not want to hang out with them.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars It's Not Just You
This book is written by someone with personal knowledge of what it's like to be in a toxic relationship and come out the other side. The warning signs, the patterns are all here. Read more
Published 6 days ago by Heidi
5.0 out of 5 stars My Kindle has saved me
When I got my kindle I started looking for books to explain my husband. I thought after 40 yrs, yes 40. It can"t be just me. Why was I feeling so lonely. anger and depressed. Read more
Published 8 days ago by Marlene McBroom
1.0 out of 5 stars One Star
I didn't care for it
Published 12 days ago by Elaine Remington
5.0 out of 5 stars I recommend this book to all stuggling under the opression of a toxic,...
This book is well written and concise. The author's personal story illustrates toxic/narcissistic behavior more clearly than any other book on the subject, and I have read many... Read more
Published 12 days ago by Healthy49
3.0 out of 5 stars review
Good information and validates when one thinks they are in a relationship with an abusive narcissist. I was helped by it.
Published 19 days ago by Deretha R. Foy
5.0 out of 5 stars Validation in Print
A college degree is virtually

Meaningless if we are not taught to be aware of abusive attitudes, behavior, and tactics whether at home, in the workplace, on our campus,... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Linda Moritz-Helton
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank You!
I just want to say thank you to the author of this book for helping me to see what was right in front of my eyes for 3 1/2 years! Read more
Published 1 month ago by REMfan
5.0 out of 5 stars An earnest and succinct review of emotional aggression.
Prior to writing this review, I read several other reviews on this book. One review in particular which I earnestly disagree with, offered the critique, that the author is venting... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Robert Doran
5.0 out of 5 stars I Needed to Read This When I Did.
This was helpful. I was a victim of narcissistic abuse. I have since moved on now that I have an understanding of the disorder. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Jan
3.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening
I chose this book to see if I was losing my mind or not. In her description of what emotional abuse really entails, I was stunned. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Imogene Branchwater
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