606 of 743 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This is a book which has profoundly changed my life, December 29, 2005
I placed my original order for Dan Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" about one month before it's release in 1995 after reading the Time magazine cover story "What is Your E.Q.?" At the time I was going through a very difficult divorce, and I was asking myself the question "What did I do to deserve this terrible mess?" I was a 37 year old medical internist then who, in 7th grade, modeled my emotional style after Mr. Spock (from Star Trek) to avoid emotional issues I faced then. I accepted the messages from my parents and teachers who taught me that if I earned good grades, went to college, received an undergraduate and hopefully a graduate degree, then I shall expect to become happy & successful in life. Well, I DID that. I got the T-shirt. I graduated from high school as class valedictorian, winning the science award, I was awarded by my classmates "most likely to succeed", and I won a very handsome scholarship which paid all my undergraduate tuition for 4 years and offered me a summer job. In college I won more scholarships and graduated phi beta kappa in the top 3% of my class. In medical school & residency I did well, but this was more difficult for me as I had to learn to deal with many emotionally and socially challenging issues I was poorly prepared to deal with, but I got through them, but initially was not very adept at dealing with them.
When I entered professional life I started to ponder more the emotional issues in the lives of my patients, and in my own life, and I was slowly coming to terms with the importance of these issues. In 1995, as I reflected upon the failure of my marriage and the miserable circumstances in which I found myself, I realized my biggest contribution to the failure of that marriage was the rational "Spockish" persona I brought to that relationship and my lack of attunement to my inner emotional life. I was ready for a new paradigm of how intellect should relate to feeling.
Goleman's insights on emotional intelligence revolutionized the way I relate to my intellectual and emotional life. Where formerly I was of the belief that the mind was the key to happiness and success in life (and the emotions merely got in the way of clear heading reasoning), I have now come to view that the true formula for success & happiness is the development of an intelligent mind surrendered to an intelligent heart. In my practice in internal medicine, I have come to realize that issues of emotional intelligence (or rather, lack of it) either cause or drive numerous medical problems and I regular strive to teach my patients about emotional intelligence and I often share Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" (or abridged audiocassettes) with them. The book has made a very profound contribution to my practice, to my life, and to the lives of many of my patients. I have given talks at educational conferences to encourage education to teaching emotional intelligence. I have written articles to magazines and books regarding a model of education which integrates intellectual, emotional, moral, and spiritual intelligences (I see emotional intelligence as a gateway to moral and spiritual intelligence).
Especially to those of you who are stuck in the "mind is everything (& ignore your emotions)" paradigm of happiness and success in life, I urge you to read this book. The same goes for educators, physicians, and corporate leaders. I rate Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" among the top 5 most life altering books of my life, and that deserves 5 stars (if not ten).
Kenneth A. Miller, MD
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110 of 133 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great but lacks how-to, December 1, 2010
This review is from: Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (Hardcover)
When I first read this book back when it came out in 1995, it was wonderful to have my eyes opened to emotional intelligence. Goleman is an excellent writer and presents a great deal of thought-provoking content. Where it falls short (could be inevitable for the book that came first) is in teaching you how to increase and apply your emotional intelligence. The only other weakness is the book is dense (the exploration of EQ is largely academic).
Goleman, psychologist and science writer for The New York Times, explains how the rational and emotional work together to shape intelligence, using intriguing new information from neuroscience and psychology of the brain. It details why IQ is not the sole predictor of success, and it reviews powerful academic studies that show how emotional intelligence impacts important life outcomes. Goleman shows how the brain can easily succumb to an emotional hijacking, where emotions overpower your reason.
He uses scientific data from studies based on brain imaging technologies that yield an interesting understanding of how emotions operate in the brain. Along the way Goleman summarizes much of the best psychological work of the last few decades on such topics as the importance of learned optimism, the theory of multiple intelligences, the role of innate temperamental differences, and the importance of emotional intelligence in marriage, management, and medicine. The empirical data Goleman uses is well-researched.
He also suggests that a lack of emotional intelligence is responsible for the horrendous acts of violence that are the stuff of daily headlines. The book calls for universal adoption of educational curricula that will teach youngsters how to regulate their emotional responses and to resolve conflict peacefully.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is the book you should read if you want to learn how to increase your emotional intelligence. It even includes an emotional intelligence test.
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137 of 183 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Mastering the Emotional Realm, April 10, 2006
Great spiritual teachers, like Buddha and Jesus, have touched their disciples' hearts by speaking in the language of emotion, teaching in parables, fables, and stories. Indeed, religious symbol and ritual makes little sense from the rational point of view; it is couched in the vernacular of the heart. ~Daniel Goleman
Of all the books I have read in my entire life, Daniel Goleman's book on Emotional Intelligence was as difficult to begin as it was to put down. After numerous attempts to make it past the first chapter, I finally dedicated an entire week to the reading of this classic treatise on the importance of emotional awareness. Surprisingly it then only took three days to finish reading because I read constantly day and night, night and day.
The rare beauty of Daniel Goleman's writing is breathlessly intellectual all while retaining a centered approach to the research of his topic at hand. Not only has he brilliantly woven carefully placed threads of awareness into a coherent and comforting blanket of understanding, he uncovers truly helpful and practical applications.
From a deep ocean of emotional conflicts and social programming, ideas for healing appeal to our hunger for inner coherence. His work also explains why we long for positive nourishment in a negative world and why a range of skills beyond basic IQ serves to enable our success.
Daniel Goleman's writing is rich and intricate. He draws on a variety of well-known experts and personal interviews he conducted for The New York Times. His extensive interest in this topic reveals itself in the fluidity with which he combines the information so as to make it completely accessible to anyone willing to take the time to follow his logic page by page. He explores the disintegration of civility, biological patterns of emotional response and shows how the rational and emotional minds can work in harmony.
Practical elements include an understanding of feelings as they happen, how to manage emotions and how to handle emotions as they arise. Throughout, Daniel Goleman gives hope and explains why "lapses in emotional skills can be remedied." Anyone who deals with anger or depression will be especially encouraged while reading this book.
All too often we learn by experience and this book is filled with a variety of pathways stemming from emotions that either lead us to peace or conflict. Even while reading this book, you may be triggered numerous times and feel a wide variety of emotions.
I was happy to read about how crying can "lower levels of brain chemicals that prime distress." Many of the topics in this book help to explain why our emotions create various responses and how we can adapt, immediately address the problems or move from one emotional state to another quite quickly with very minimal effort. Even while reading I could feel my emotional state in a constant flux due to various topics bringing memories into my awareness. There are at least three ideas I'm already putting into practice and reading books to distract myself from negative emotions definitely works to change moods dramatically, as does exercise. You may find yourself underlining entire passages and then finally just circling an entire page to refer back to in moments of reflection.
What does it mean when someone lacks empathy?
What are the early warning signs of divorce?
Why can neglect be more damaging than abuse?
Why is the ability to control impulse the base of will and character?
The reasons for addiction, epidemic depression and rage are all addressed from a scientific perspective while at the same time taking practical matters into account. Why do emotional impulses so often supersede rational thought processes?
If you enjoy reading books on psychology, love, interpersonal relationships or communication, this is essential reading. Reading this book could be as essential to your success as a college education.
In the end, I think you can't truly be happy unless you find at least "one" person who really listens to your heart. Once you know what your heart is telling you and you find a place where your desires don't conflict with your rational mind, peace may begin to appear for moments at a time.
Specific religious beliefs are not taken into consideration due to the all-encompassing nature of this book. However, once you read this book in all its beauty, everything you believe will make more sense. Keeping a handle on your emotions then gives you more control over your self-esteem, which in turn can keep you alive.
Reading a book on emotions may be essential to your survival for to understand this aspect of life is truly enlightening. I would not have been able to understand this book in my 20s, but I definitely have enjoyed finding it before I turn 40. I feel like entire worlds will open up as I read additional selections. This is a true basis for understanding the desires of the heart and how we can temper passion with rational thought.
~The Rebecca Review
P.S. If you enjoy this book you may also enjoy "Conversations with the Conscience" by Sarkis Joseph Khoury. It is a very personal account of one man's journey through the rational and emotional mind and it has a very deep spiritual appeal that has universal significance. These two books have truly helped me understand life in all its conflict and beauty.
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