Customer Reviews

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

5 star:		(59)
4 star:		(22)
3 star:		(13)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

I placed my original order for Dan Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" about one month before it's release in 1995 after reading the Time magazine cover story "What is Your E.Q.?" At the time I was going through a very difficult divorce, and I was asking myself the question "What did I do to deserve this terrible mess?" I was a 37 year old medical internist then who, in 7th grade, modeled my emotional style after Mr. Spock (from Star Trek) to avoid emotional issues I faced then. I accepted the messages from my parents and teachers who taught me that if I earned good grades, went to college, received an undergraduate and hopefully a graduate degree, then I shall expect to become happy & successful in life. Well, I DID that. I got the T-shirt. I graduated from high school as class valedictorian, winning the science award, I was awarded by my classmates "most likely to succeed", and I won a very handsome scholarship which paid all my undergraduate tuition for 4 years and offered me a summer job. In college I won more scholarships and graduated phi beta kappa in the top 3% of my class. In medical school & residency I did well, but this was more difficult for me as I had to learn to deal with many emotionally and socially challenging issues I was poorly prepared to deal with, but I got through them, but initially was not very adept at dealing with them.

When I entered professional life I started to ponder more the emotional issues in the lives of my patients, and in my own life, and I was slowly coming to terms with the importance of these issues. In 1995, as I reflected upon the failure of my marriage and the miserable circumstances in which I found myself, I realized my biggest contribution to the failure of that marriage was the rational "Spockish" persona I brought to that relationship and my lack of attunement to my inner emotional life. I was ready for a new paradigm of how intellect should relate to feeling.

Goleman's insights on emotional intelligence revolutionized the way I relate to my intellectual and emotional life. Where formerly I was of the belief that the mind was the key to happiness and success in life (and the emotions merely got in the way of clear heading reasoning), I have now come to view that the true formula for success & happiness is the development of an intelligent mind surrendered to an intelligent heart. In my practice in internal medicine, I have come to realize that issues of emotional intelligence (or rather, lack of it) either cause or drive numerous medical problems and I regular strive to teach my patients about emotional intelligence and I often share Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" (or abridged audiocassettes) with them. The book has made a very profound contribution to my practice, to my life, and to the lives of many of my patients. I have given talks at educational conferences to encourage education to teaching emotional intelligence. I have written articles to magazines and books regarding a model of education which integrates intellectual, emotional, moral, and spiritual intelligences (I see emotional intelligence as a gateway to moral and spiritual intelligence).

Especially to those of you who are stuck in the "mind is everything (& ignore your emotions)" paradigm of happiness and success in life, I urge you to read this book. The same goes for educators, physicians, and corporate leaders. I rate Goleman's book "Emotional Intelligence" among the top 5 most life altering books of my life, and that deserves 5 stars (if not ten).

Kenneth A. Miller, MD

When I first read this book back when it came out in 1995, it was wonderful to have my eyes opened to emotional intelligence. Goleman is an excellent writer and presents a great deal of thought-provoking content. Where it falls short (could be inevitable for the book that came first) is in teaching you how to increase and apply your emotional intelligence. The only other weakness is the book is dense (the exploration of EQ is largely academic).

Goleman, psychologist and science writer for The New York Times, explains how the rational and emotional work together to shape intelligence, using intriguing new information from neuroscience and psychology of the brain. It details why IQ is not the sole predictor of success, and it reviews powerful academic studies that show how emotional intelligence impacts important life outcomes. Goleman shows how the brain can easily succumb to an emotional hijacking, where emotions overpower your reason.

He uses scientific data from studies based on brain imaging technologies that yield an interesting understanding of how emotions operate in the brain. Along the way Goleman summarizes much of the best psychological work of the last few decades on such topics as the importance of learned optimism, the theory of multiple intelligences, the role of innate temperamental differences, and the importance of emotional intelligence in marriage, management, and medicine. The empirical data Goleman uses is well-researched.

He also suggests that a lack of emotional intelligence is responsible for the horrendous acts of violence that are the stuff of daily headlines. The book calls for universal adoption of educational curricula that will teach youngsters how to regulate their emotional responses and to resolve conflict peacefully.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is the book you should read if you want to learn how to increase your emotional intelligence. It even includes an emotional intelligence test.

Great spiritual teachers, like Buddha and Jesus, have touched their disciples' hearts by speaking in the language of emotion, teaching in parables, fables, and stories. Indeed, religious symbol and ritual makes little sense from the rational point of view; it is couched in the vernacular of the heart. ~Daniel Goleman

Of all the books I have read in my entire life, Daniel Goleman's book on Emotional Intelligence was as difficult to begin as it was to put down. After numerous attempts to make it past the first chapter, I finally dedicated an entire week to the reading of this classic treatise on the importance of emotional awareness. Surprisingly it then only took three days to finish reading because I read constantly day and night, night and day.

The rare beauty of Daniel Goleman's writing is breathlessly intellectual all while retaining a centered approach to the research of his topic at hand. Not only has he brilliantly woven carefully placed threads of awareness into a coherent and comforting blanket of understanding, he uncovers truly helpful and practical applications.

From a deep ocean of emotional conflicts and social programming, ideas for healing appeal to our hunger for inner coherence. His work also explains why we long for positive nourishment in a negative world and why a range of skills beyond basic IQ serves to enable our success.

Daniel Goleman's writing is rich and intricate. He draws on a variety of well-known experts and personal interviews he conducted for The New York Times. His extensive interest in this topic reveals itself in the fluidity with which he combines the information so as to make it completely accessible to anyone willing to take the time to follow his logic page by page. He explores the disintegration of civility, biological patterns of emotional response and shows how the rational and emotional minds can work in harmony.

Practical elements include an understanding of feelings as they happen, how to manage emotions and how to handle emotions as they arise. Throughout, Daniel Goleman gives hope and explains why "lapses in emotional skills can be remedied." Anyone who deals with anger or depression will be especially encouraged while reading this book.

All too often we learn by experience and this book is filled with a variety of pathways stemming from emotions that either lead us to peace or conflict. Even while reading this book, you may be triggered numerous times and feel a wide variety of emotions.

I was happy to read about how crying can "lower levels of brain chemicals that prime distress." Many of the topics in this book help to explain why our emotions create various responses and how we can adapt, immediately address the problems or move from one emotional state to another quite quickly with very minimal effort. Even while reading I could feel my emotional state in a constant flux due to various topics bringing memories into my awareness. There are at least three ideas I'm already putting into practice and reading books to distract myself from negative emotions definitely works to change moods dramatically, as does exercise. You may find yourself underlining entire passages and then finally just circling an entire page to refer back to in moments of reflection.

What does it mean when someone lacks empathy?
What are the early warning signs of divorce?
Why can neglect be more damaging than abuse?
Why is the ability to control impulse the base of will and character?

The reasons for addiction, epidemic depression and rage are all addressed from a scientific perspective while at the same time taking practical matters into account. Why do emotional impulses so often supersede rational thought processes?

If you enjoy reading books on psychology, love, interpersonal relationships or communication, this is essential reading. Reading this book could be as essential to your success as a college education.

In the end, I think you can't truly be happy unless you find at least "one" person who really listens to your heart. Once you know what your heart is telling you and you find a place where your desires don't conflict with your rational mind, peace may begin to appear for moments at a time.

Specific religious beliefs are not taken into consideration due to the all-encompassing nature of this book. However, once you read this book in all its beauty, everything you believe will make more sense. Keeping a handle on your emotions then gives you more control over your self-esteem, which in turn can keep you alive.

Reading a book on emotions may be essential to your survival for to understand this aspect of life is truly enlightening. I would not have been able to understand this book in my 20s, but I definitely have enjoyed finding it before I turn 40. I feel like entire worlds will open up as I read additional selections. This is a true basis for understanding the desires of the heart and how we can temper passion with rational thought.

~The Rebecca Review

P.S. If you enjoy this book you may also enjoy "Conversations with the Conscience" by Sarkis Joseph Khoury. It is a very personal account of one man's journey through the rational and emotional mind and it has a very deep spiritual appeal that has universal significance. These two books have truly helped me understand life in all its conflict and beauty.

I think this is one of the most important books written in the past decade. This is not a "self-help" book, but a presentation of data and Goleman's conclusions.

Goleman has great communication skills and this book is very readable. Frankly, I envy his clear writing style. I recommend this book and the ones that follow to everyone.

I wrote this review because I think the negative review listed is inaccurate and does the potential reader harm by steering him away from this important work.

Ever since I read Martin Gardiner's book on multiple intelligences, I have been intrigued by the study of how we learn and the different types of intelligence. No one disputes that mathematical/analytical brain-power is a very different type of intelligence from the kind of bodily intelligence that makes someone a graceful gymnast or a super athlete; while there is often some cross-over between the kinds of intelligence that make for good mathematicians and good musicians, the kinds of intelligence that are brought to bear on different parts of our lives get developed in different ways.

One of the more controversial and overlooked types of intelligence is Emotional Intelligence. I do not agree with the idea that one's EQ is in some way opposite from the IQ, the standard intelligence quotient idea (which in and of itself is calculated and reliant on different criteria depending upon the test). I don't believe that Goleman ever makes such a dramatic claim as to show a precise inverse relationship between the EQ and IQ. He does show that there are different kinds of difficulties that can arise, and that a high IQ does not necessarily (or even often) translate into a high EQ.

After a brief introduction exploring the general issues of intelligence and the power of emotions, Goleman
looks at new discoveries in brain anatomy and architecture, particularly as it pertains to what happens when emotions `take over'. The second, and longest, section of the book looks at the nature of Emotional Intelligence. This is being able to understand oneself as well as others, being able to control emotions (or not), and drawing on Aristotle's phrase from the Nicomachean Ethics, being able to have the right degree of emotion at the right time for the right reason for the right duration. Goleman's third section incorporates the general ideas of Emotional Intelligence into the broader context of living, stating that one's emotional intelligence is in fact a more critical factor than pure computational intelligence at being `successful' in many important parts of life - from personal relationships to professional relationships, self-satisfaction and self-growth, emotions often hold sway over traditional `intelligence'. The fourth section examines developmental issues, leading to the final section exploring what happens when such development goes wrong.

Goleman's observation that children seem to be increasingly depressed, despondent, violent and unruly than in the past may or may not be accurate - unfortunately, such comparisons with the past often rely on shaky anecdotal evidence or studies whose parameters are different, and thus whose conclusions cannot be accurately compared. However, it certainly seems that these are true observations. Goleman warns of a coming crisis as unprepared children face an adulthood full of emotional stress and crises for which they have not developed coping skills. Goleman calls for more emphasis on emotional intelligence issues - anger management, conflict resolution, sense of self, etc. for school children to reduce violence and potential for crime.

Overall, this book presents interesting ideas. The idea of Emotional Intelligence is fairly new, and will no doubt be adapted and revised in the coming years. Goleman's task here may be less of a comprehensive overview rather than an introductory shout to the community that needs to address the issue.

There are three things to clarify for this review:

1) I wanted to read this to gain some perspective on dealing with a boss who I assume has a low emotional intelligence
2) I instantly found what I was looking for
3) I also discovered I already knew the answer

I think #3 indicates why the book exists. Looking through reviews of this book (not just on Amazon) I see a lot of reviews that indicate readers want to learn how to be more emotionally sensitive. To me, that isn't possible. It is the equivalent of reading books on how to be a genius in order to become a genius.

For those that have an emotional backbone, you'll likely find yourself reading this thinking "Yes! Duh!". At the very least it will reaffirm for you that you are not alone and somebody understands where you are coming from. In the meantime, my boss is still a robot trying to mimic emotion and I am an employee doing my best to not get angry at him for it.

When I first read Daniel Goleman's book in 1995 I was fascinated by his treatment of the emotions and how they effect our lives both negatively and positively. His work-bringing intelligence to the emotions and how best to deal with them--is invaluable information to anyone seeking to get control of their lives. It is helpful to people of all ages and it is particularly so for people in the gray society. Those of us with gray in our hair are often subjected to age bias particularly in the workplace and that can be demeaning, often impacting negatively on one's sense of self-worth. EQ puts things into perspective. Daniel Goleman's book gives the readers who are facing unjust discrimination a healthy perspecive on their true worth. FOr many it shows that despite the bias some might experience they may be smarter now than ever before.
This book is not only a great work but it is a most significant contribution to our national culture.

This book just confirms what I've been thinking for years- intelligence, that is "book smarts", is just ONE piece of what contributes to a person's overall success in life- and in no way guarantees anything. You can be the smartest person in the world, but if you don't have other qualities like self-esteem or persistence- well, there's a good chance that you won't be happy. Case in point, there is no scientific literature linking IQ or academic ability to happiness levels. Anyway, this book does a good job of elaborating on the idea that intelligence will only get you so far in life- and spends its time telling you why. Here's a quick rundown of the book's five parts:

-Part 1 talks about the brain's "emotional architecture"
-Part 2 shows the reader how neurological givens play out in the most basic flair for living called "emotional intelligence"
-Part 3 examines some key differences this aptitude makes
-Part 4 gets into emotional intelligence and childhood
-Part 5 explores the hazards of not mastering the emotional side of things

So, if the idea of improving your life by taking a look at the emotional side of things sounds interesting to you, I would highly recommend checking this book it out. Other self-help books I liked include Exercise Beats Depression.

This has been a bestseller and many people have found it inspirational. So it may be unfair to judge it from an academic point of view, but that's what I'm about to do.
It has long been known that folk may be smart in different ways, and yet it has also seemed that some are smarter than others. The IQ was originally introduced by Binet to provide some quantification and measurement of the general attribute of smartness, but almost as soon as it was born there were attempts to split up intelligence into different kinds. Even the venerable Wechsler-Bellevue had subscales for such things as memory and verbal ability. Most of the attempts to classify different kinds of intelligence used statistical techniques, such as factor analysis, applied to numerical test scores. Numerous personality tests have been devised, from Allport onwards.
Can we differentiate what is lost in illnesses like Alzheimer's disease and Down's syndrome from what is lost in schizophrenia or Asperger's syndrome? The advent of computers that could perform such feats as play chess added another dimension to the argument.
For a serious student of these questions this book is not the place to go. Coleman has a digressive chatty style, which may enhance readability but detracts from the cogency of his argument. He uses a lot of anecdotes, and when he describes published studies talks about who did the study, and sometimes interviews them. His evaluations of the studies are often lacking in rigor and he fails to balance his views with contradictory evidence.
His treatment of the anatomical and chemical evidence for his theories is perfunctory and his neuroanatomy is hazy. Localizing mental functions function in the brain is a more difficult matter than he indicates. ( Shameless plug here; read "The Psychiatry of Stroke") He does not deal in a methodical way with the methodological problems and the only statistics are raw numbers.
Having said all that negative stuff, I think he is probably right in that we have one set of mental abilities that we share with computers, and another set that we do not. He is an excellent writer with many brilliant original ideas and the book is well worth reading.

I'm about halfway through reading this book.
FYI, I'm not a psych major or an academic.
Generally, I think this guy is really "on the right
track" - I am willing to buy into his ideas at first,
but I don't find his arguments quite as satisfying
as they need to be ... he seems often to make
indirect use of others' research to support his
own distinct hypotheses - and often says the
connection is "obvious". Not very rigorous.

that being said, I do think EI and EQ are really
"onto something important", something that
is largely missing from our public education
system, and something worth pursuing. If this
is the most rigorous treatment to date, then
what we must do is fund more research to
prove the claims in this book by more direct
methods.