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Emotional Purity (Includes Study Questions): An Affair of the Heart Paperback – April 11, 2007

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Frequently Bought Together

Emotional Purity (Includes Study Questions): An Affair of the Heart + When God Writes Your Love Story (Expanded Edition): The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships + I Kissed Dating Goodbye
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Crossway (April 11, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 158134855X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1581348552
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #152,885 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Heather Arnel Paulsen is committed to encouraging Christian singles to pursue emotional purity, and she enjoys mentoring and counseling young women. In 2003 she married her husband, John. The couple lives in Illinois with their two young children, whom Heather looks forward to homeschooling. Visit the author’s web site at www.emotionalpurity.blogspot.com.

More About the Author

I wrote Emotional Purity in 2000. It was first released by WinePress Publishers in 2001. After amazing sales, the Lord opened up the door for the book to be published through Crossway Publishers in the spring of 2007. I am excited to watch this new phase of Emotional Purity.

In 2003 I was married and we have two sons Miles (2005) and Luke (2006). I look forward to homeschooling them when the time comes.

I really enjoy communicating with the readers of my book. I feel like it gives me a great perspective on what people think and how it has impacted their life.

Customer Reviews

I read, and reread, and reread this book!!
Melanie Smith
It will bless you and change how you see PURITY in a whole different way!
Read it for yourself and decide, but I would highly recommend this book.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Nate on October 18, 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Emotional Purity - wow, now there's a concept that many teenagers and adults today don't understand. This book thoughtfully examines misconception that Christian purity relates to romantic relationships and only to the physical realm. Heather Paulsen shows through examples and the principles of God's word that purity must be pursued in areas beyond the scope of this faulty idea.
This book's overarching message is to "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23). Guy-girl relationships (not even restricted to the explicitly romantic ones) can often lead to broken hearts because emotions go too far. Many books (see stuff by Josh Harris) focus on general purity in romantic relationships, but Heather shows that even good friends who aren't romantically involved must also be careful to remain pure. Without realizing it, friends can begin to spend more and more time with each other and become emotionally attached. Then, as Heather shows, the ensuing confusion about the goals of the relationship often leads to damaged hearts and severed friendships.
This said, I think it is a shame that this book's message is hindered by generally poor writing. The manuscript is rather clunky and includes occasional grammatical errors. In any other book, this would be cause for a significant deduction in the stars it receives from me, but in this case, the beautiful message that shines through the sometimes obscuring language makes up for it.
As I recall the power of this book's message to write this review, I find myself wanting to read it again. All teenagers and adults (even married ones) should allow this book to show them the importance of purity in all relationships. That means with co-workers, classmates, and friends, not just a significant other.
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By ben hoisington on September 24, 2001
Format: Paperback
Okay, now this is one of the most unique and challenging Christian living books that i have ever read. as a Christain i rate books in 3 ways. first is how scripturally based it is. second is how applicable it is. and third is how much it leads one to prayer. this revalation revealed by God to Heather Paulsen qualifies for all three. Guaranteed to change the way you think about current relationships, and how you act around others.
as a friend of mine Claire Angus, who i let borrow this book says, "I would recommend very highly to EVERYONE." I second this saying. if you are a guy or a girl, and want to know about relationships with others, and how to keep the relationship the way God would want it, Read what God says through his instrument, Heather Paulsen.
Seeking Him First,
Campus Crusade for Christ student President at UMass Amherst
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 30, 2001
Format: Paperback
What a gifted author! Just by reading, one can sense her desire to serve the Lord, sweet spirit, and graceful nature. The issues addressed in her book are both relevant and biblically based. This book had an impact on me because I am very easily attatched to male friends, and this book made me realize the problem with it. God has given her great gifts and talents and she is using them for His Glory! Praise be to God!
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on February 23, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Overall, this is a wonderful book. Paulsen has brought up many wonderful points - for men as well as women. If only men knew how quickly women can get caught up, and how little it takes - perhaps they'd be more respectful!
Heather's message is to guard one's heart, keeping it safe and tender for the earthly manifestation of God's love we are waiting for. Having been burned a few times before, I can wholeheartedly say that in the long run, it is indeed better to play it safe and give our hearts and emotions to God to protect.
I do find myself compelled to point out that some of the grammatical and typographical errors in the book are distracting and annoying - and they are errors any good editor should have seen and corrected. But this doesn't take away from the overall message of the book.
I recommend this book to any dating single, Christian or not. Some of the things Heather talks about are probably not applicable to all (she is over 28 and still lives at home with her parents, which is something I find rather worrisome). My father doesn't sit down with all of my dates or talk to the young men I go out with because I'm an adult and on my own! But still, it is possible to apply most of her message to one's life - women, in particular, should have a respected person to whom they are accountable and someone they trust.
I do think she brings up some questions that are then not answered - for instance, she does not recommend talking about one's hopes and dreams for the future. This is fine at first, at least as far as the house, picket fence, and 2.3 kids go, but I would hope that adults eventually discuss these things before making a commitment, lest they find themselves in a very surprising situation!
Perhaps she can write a sequel. I'm actually surprised she doesn't have a website - the book and its message are absolutely excellent and worthy of noting.
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34 of 43 people found the following review helpful By David Thatcher on May 1, 2009
Format: Paperback
If the author were simply trying to say that men and women should watch how much they give of their hearts and emotions in a relationship, that would be fine. I would agree. If a man or woman continue in an undefined relationship after realizing they have feelings for each other, and do not talk it out, there could be problems. However this is not her point; her point is that you need to have a verbal commitment that you will either be looking at or not looking at marriage, and if you don't have that verbal commitment, don't hang out. The author assumes that young men and women not only don't have but CAN'T have the self-control to handle a relationship without defining it at the outset. So we see that this, like other legalistic teachings, substitutes teaching self-control through the Spirit with a set of rules and guidelines. This is a point at which the author's teaching is tragic, spiritually.
Another problem with legalistic teaching is, that is takes the responsibility of off the sinner and places it on the sin. For example, if a man sees a barely dressed woman at a bar and picks her up for a night of sin, its not the bar's fault, or the alcohol's fault, or the woman's fault for having hardly any clothes on. It is the man's fault. I am tired of hearing the line that women can defraud men with their dress, which the author uses in chapter four as a parallel to her idea of emotional defrauding. The fact that women should watch how they dress does not mean that the responsibility is not mine as far as lust.
Similarly, it is YOUR fault if you give another too much of your emotions and heart. That's your responsibility to set personal limits, and it doesn't require forbidding close relationships with the opposite gender.
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