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Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing with the Unfinished Business of Your Past (Title Change from How to Get Out of Your Own Way)
 
 
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Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing with the Unfinished Business of Your Past (Title Change from How to Get Out of Your Own Way) [Hardcover]

David Viscott M.D. (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)


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Book Description

July 2, 1996 Title Change from How to Get Out of Your Own Way
Everyone experiences major upsets in life--the death of a partner or parent, divorce, heartache, loss of a job, and other traumas.  Our  resilience in such instances often predicts the course of our recovery; it is what motivates us to rebuild, to spring back from hardship, to grow from painful experiences, and to take adversity in stride.  In EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE:  Simple Truths for Dealing with the Unfinished Business of Your Past, Dr. Viscotta leading authority on emotional health and the best-selling author of nine books on emotional well-beingexplains the simple key to weathering life's emotional ups and downs.  "After working with thousands of clients over the course of more than thirty years, I realized that the secret to emotional soundness is almost always the same," says Viscott.  "We each must tell the truth and resolve hurt feelings at the moment they arise...a remarkably simple idea, but very difficult for most people to put into action." EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE shows why, as difficult as it may sound, telling the truth (both to yourself and to others), is a much healthier option than emotional deception, which always translates into emotional baggage.

EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE is based on Viscott's original theories of personality, feelings, defenses, and the natural healing process, which he calls Natural Therapy.  "Our psyche's naturalinclination if we don't interrupt the processis toward mental health," says Viscott.  "The problem is that we have ignored and supressed those natural instincts, at the expense of our emotional freedom."  When we don't express hurt or angry feelings, we create the condition of Emotional Debt.  "Simply put, Emotional Debt means that an unexpressed feeling is still owed its voice," says Viscott.  "That need does not leave you, even when you squelch it; it only mutates into guilt, depression, anger, or stress, growing more distorted over time."  Ultimately, such withholdings result in Toxic Nostalgia, the sudden and often inappropriate emergence of these unresolved, buried feelings into a current situation.  

EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE shows that any effective therapy must decrease the volume of stored emotions and prevent newer feelings from being withheld; by coming to know our basic character typedependent, controlling, or competitiveand the defense mechanisms associated with that type, we can begin to change our lives, with or without the use of a therapist.  "In order to heal, you must realize your own power," says Viscott.  "The healing process is only blocked by self-deception and avoidance of the truth, so you are the main reason it fails or succeeds.  Becoming aware of your blocked feelings is the first step toward healing."  


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Bestselling self-help author Viscott maintains, somewhat idealistically, that the secret of mental health is to "express your pain the moment it occurs." Blocked feelings, emotional dishonesty, lies and dissimulation defeat trust and thwart the expression of love, observes this Los Angeles psychiatrist and radio show host. In a pragmatic handbook for self-healing, he outlines "natural therapy," a system for being truthful about one's feelings, whether through leveling with one's partner, coming to terms with an old hurt or accepting a painful loss. "Emotional debt," i.e., the withholding of feeling, generates unresolved inner conflicts, stress, anger, guilt, depression. "Toxic nostalgia," the intrusion of buried feelings and attitudes into the present, can take many forms, he says, including anxiety attacks, somatic complaints, prejudices, playing the victim and self-destructiveness. Viscott also identifies three basic character types?dependent, controlling, competitive?based on a person's use of defense mechanisms such as denial, pretense and blame. Notwithstanding the jargon, the writing is clear and straightforward. Author tour.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Do-it-yourself home therapy with a 100,000-copy first printing.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 358 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (July 2, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0517702401
  • ISBN-13: 978-0517702406
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #828,559 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

21 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (21 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Heal and Change Your Life Now!!, October 5, 2005
+++++

Do you know what these are?

(1) Lie.
(2) Try to change or fix others.
(3) Expect the person who hurt you to apologize.
(4) Expect others to recognize your goodness or accomplishments.
(5) Wait for permission to do what is best for you.

These are 5 truths of things NOT to do to change and heal your life. They are found in the brief last chapter of this book by the late Dr. David Viscott, a well-known psychiatrist. There are 8 more of these don'ts. As well, there are 14 truths that you should do to heal and change your life. (This makes for a total of 27 "Dos and Don'ts.")

This book is a kind of handbook to successfully get through the emotional bumps of life that everybody encounters. Viscott explains more eloquently:

"This book is designed to help you achieve and preserve your emotional resilience, so you can face the difficult threats of the present and manage them effectively without being drained, feeling bad about yourself, or second-guessing your actions."

This book centers around three main concepts:

(1) Natural Therapy: refers to the spontaneous process (that this book advocates) that enables healing and change to occur.

(2) Emotional Debt: the condition of withholding feelings. This works on the principle that when feelings are not expressed, a condition of tension is created. Thus, emotional stress is the pressure of unexpressed feelings. What you want to strive for is to limit emotional debt.

(3) Toxic Nostalgia: the intrusion of past feelings into the present that bring up fear, anger, or hurt. These past feelings are stored in emotional debt.

Finally, this is a surprisingly easy book to read. There is no tedious psychobabble to contend with and you will begin learning right away.

In conclusion, read this book and resolve what's bothering you and getting in the way of your sense of freedom and happiness right now!!

(first published 1996; acknowledgments; introduction; 14 chapters; main narrative 355 pages; index)

+++++
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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A book for those serious about changing behavioural patterns, September 29, 2001
By 
Julia Manitius (Gudhjem, Denmark) - See all my reviews
David Viscott's "Emotional Resilience" is a tightly packed book that provides the tools needed to unravel the behavioral and emotional tangles that complicate our lives, and to move on as emotionally healthier and happier individuals. The book is for people who are serious about breaking out of old patterns and who are ready and willing to confront themselves. Using phrases such as emotional debt, and toxic nostalgia Viscott indicates where emotions have needed to be addressed and how our personalities have developed as a result of not having done so. "Emotional Resilience" is by no means easy reading and digesting the contents may take repeated readings at different periods of time. I have reread sections of the book many times, and each time I learn something new. Viscott has provided me with the tools I needed to move out of old patterns and to realize myself as self-reliant adult. I cannot recommend Viscotts "Emotional Resilience" more highly!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Concise presentation with a hopeful outlook, May 24, 2005
By 
Jeff Davidson (Chapel Hill, NC USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing with the Unfinished Business of Your Past (Title Change from How to Get Out of Your Own Way) (Hardcover)
The crux of Viscott's message in Emotional Resilience is that individuals must resolve pain the moment it arises in order to become resilient. He presents his ideas in 10 steps and adopts a therapy-focused tone. This book brilliantly addresses how individuals who are struggling with unexpressed feelings and pain from their past can make breakthroughs.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
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First Sentence:
WHILE COMPLEX EMOTIONS can be reduced to a simple formula, simple emotions can seem incomprehensible when you are embroiled in your own difficulties. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
natural therapeutic process, nostalgic episode, coping phase, nostalgic event, competitive person, controlling person, controlling period, stored feelings, emotional resilience, stored anger, healing perspective, competitive period, dependent period, stored emotions, natural healing process, troublesome dreams, dependent person, competitive people, intellectual defenses, unresolved pain, defensive style
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Emotional Debt, Toxic Nostalgia, Feeling Cycle, Jack Nicklaus
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