Customer Reviews

Emotional Resilience: Simple Truths for Dealing with the Unfinished Business of Your Past

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
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2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

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Do you know what these are?

(1) Lie.
(2) Try to change or fix others.
(3) Expect the person who hurt you to apologize.
(4) Expect others to recognize your goodness or accomplishments.
(5) Wait for permission to do what is best for you.

These are 5 truths of things NOT to do to change and heal your life. They are found in the brief last chapter of this book by the late Dr. David Viscott, a well-known psychiatrist. There are 8 more of these don'ts. As well, there are 14 truths that you should do to heal and change your life. (This makes for a total of 27 "Dos and Don'ts.")

This book is a kind of handbook to successfully get through the emotional bumps of life that everybody encounters. Viscott explains more eloquently:

"This book is designed to help you achieve and preserve your emotional resilience, so you can face the difficult threats of the present and manage them effectively without being drained, feeling bad about yourself, or second-guessing your actions."

This book centers around three main concepts:

(1) Natural Therapy: refers to the spontaneous process (that this book advocates) that enables healing and change to occur.

(2) Emotional Debt: the condition of withholding feelings. This works on the principle that when feelings are not expressed, a condition of tension is created. Thus, emotional stress is the pressure of unexpressed feelings. What you want to strive for is to limit emotional debt.

(3) Toxic Nostalgia: the intrusion of past feelings into the present that bring up fear, anger, or hurt. These past feelings are stored in emotional debt.

Finally, this is a surprisingly easy book to read. There is no tedious psychobabble to contend with and you will begin learning right away.

In conclusion, read this book and resolve what's bothering you and getting in the way of your sense of freedom and happiness right now!!

(first published 1996; acknowledgments; introduction; 14 chapters; main narrative 355 pages; index)

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David Viscott's "Emotional Resilience" is a tightly packed book that provides the tools needed to unravel the behavioral and emotional tangles that complicate our lives, and to move on as emotionally healthier and happier individuals. The book is for people who are serious about breaking out of old patterns and who are ready and willing to confront themselves. Using phrases such as emotional debt, and toxic nostalgia Viscott indicates where emotions have needed to be addressed and how our personalities have developed as a result of not having done so. "Emotional Resilience" is by no means easy reading and digesting the contents may take repeated readings at different periods of time. I have reread sections of the book many times, and each time I learn something new. Viscott has provided me with the tools I needed to move out of old patterns and to realize myself as self-reliant adult. I cannot recommend Viscotts "Emotional Resilience" more highly!

The crux of Viscott's message in Emotional Resilience is that individuals must resolve pain the moment it arises in order to become resilient. He presents his ideas in 10 steps and adopts a therapy-focused tone. This book brilliantly addresses how individuals who are struggling with unexpressed feelings and pain from their past can make breakthroughs.

I've read more self-help books than I'd care to admit, and I'm often disappointed by fluffy texts that cite dozens of case studies instead of offering useful advice. Viscott doesn't rely on patients' stories to fill his pages; he presents practical guidelines to help the reader clear her/his own emotional hurdles. The back cover alone (which offers 10 simple truths) is a gold mine, and there's much, much more inside. The tone is neither dry/boring nor warm/fuzzy, but balanced. Case studies are cited as examples, but not to excess, or to cover for a lack of substance. Viscott is mainly interested in you, the reader. This is the most dense (with inspiring, practical information) book I've ever read in the field of self-help. A steal, for the price! But be warned: without the fluff, there's nowhere to hide; you must be courageous to read this book and really take it in. If - and only if - you're truly ready to be honest with yourself, and to experience the pain and joy of genuine growth, do yourself a favor and buy this book.

I listened to the audio tapes "Emotional Resilience" hoping to learn how to be more resilient. A great deal of the discussion outlines case histories of people with troubles; relatively little time is devoted to positive actions and thoughts. The author takes an intellectual approach to emotional difficulties. He speaks quickly and his voice is not soothing. He challenges the listener to come to grips with where and how they are in denial about experiences in their past. I can see how these tapes might be good for people who have denial, possibly alcoholics or people stubbornly resistant to changing their patterns. Hoewever, I would not recommend it for people who consider themselves sensitive, unless they have the support of a caring, understanding counselor or psychologist. These tapes can awaken fears and troubling feelings without providing the support to deal with them once they surface. The author does have some good and valid points to make in his work. But these tapes are not the sort of meditation tapes that make you feel better as you listen.

This is the first book I have read which zoned into the actual method to have complete emotional freedom from past hurt. The truth in this book is so divinely guided that people may not want to become that clear, as you will feel resistance when you read the first few pages as your illusions come crashing down. Keep going and experience freedom - finally! To live your life the way you want to and not be dragged through live through unconscious sabotaging thoughts, which you will become more aware of through this book. May all be blessed.

Have read and re-read and re-read again over the years. Such a good book I've rcmded to others and even bought it for someone. Though a lot of material/content (not pages) it is told in such a manner that makes it easy to read and very revealing, helpful. He is a great author and conveys points easily. Would consider reading his other books.

I think this book is a "must" for everyone who is willing to work on improvement of his/her relationships to other people, especially to the closest ones. Also excellent manual for those who still struggle with unresolved emotinal issues from their personal past. Author describes with great clarity hidden motives behind human behavior and points the way how to disclose and declare them with honesty and opennes to those we love. Needs to be read and re-read repeatedly to derive the greatest benefit!

Heard EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE, written and read by
Dr. David Viscott.

The book suggests a way of life, in which we can communicate
more freely with the people we love without baggage from our
past . . . Viscott discusses the forces that block feelings,
and he presents useful techniques for overcoming the obstacles
that can create unhappiness and unnecessary tensions in
our lives.

In some respects, listening was probably better than reading
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE because it felt almost as if the
author was speaking to me in a one-on-one therapy session.

Among the many insights that I gained were the following:
* Express your pain the minute it occurs.

* Guilt has no purpose.

* People will love you because you're human, not because you're
perfect.

* What you avoid imprisons you.

And these do's and don't at the conclusion:

* Stop trying to prove yourself.

* Be kind to yourself every day.

* Find something to be grateful for.

* Don't try, just be.

* Don't try to change or fix others.

* Don't expect the person who hurt you to apologize.

* Don't expect people to be nicer to you than they
are to themselves.

* Don't expect others to understand you.

This book gets right to the root of depression, addiction, low self-esteem, fear of relationships, fear of change -- any problem that a sane person might suffer from. Whether you're familiar with your issues, or your life just feels stagnant and unfulfilling and you're not sure why, this book is a must-read. And if you have always scoffed at self-help books... this one has your name on it!