The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent [Hardcover]

Barry J. Jacobs PsyD (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 16, 2006

Caring for a parent whose health is in decline turns the world upside down. The emotional fallout can be devastating, but it doesn't have to be that way. Empathic guidance from an expert who's been there can help. Through an account of two sisters and their ailing mother--interwoven with no-nonsense advice--The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers helps family members navigate tough decisions and make the most of their time together as they care for an aging parent. The author urges readers to be honest about the level of commitment they're able to make and emphasizes the need for clear communication within the family. While acknowledging their guilt, stress, and fatigue, he helps caregivers reaffirm emotional connections worn thin by the routine of daily care. This compassionate book will help families everywhere avoid burnout and preserve bonds during one of life's most difficult passages.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

For anyone with the responsibility of caring for a sick or disabled parent, this clear-eyed guide will be of real assistance. Jacobs, director of behavioral sciences for the Crozer-Keystone Family Medicine Residency Program in Pennsylvania, knows firsthand the emotional and financial devastation such illness can cause: his father died of cancer when Jacobs was 13. He illustrates the problems caregivers face through the story of two women (composites of caregivers he has known), middle-aged, married sisters struggling with the cancer of their widowed mother from diagnosis to death. As Jacobs points out, the sisters, their mother and her doctors are not perfect models of resilience and wisdom: rather, they're average people whom readers will be able to identify with and learn from. Through this story, Jacobs explores how to define your commitment to caregiving and recruit relatives as well as professionals to help, along with strategies for preserving your own personal life during an extended illness. Jacobs recommends that family members meet regularly, even online, to negotiate caregiving responsibilities. Jacobs's frankness about the emotional as well as medical traps that await families dealing with serious illness, and his concrete advice on how to handle them, offers in-depth support to caregivers. (June)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Review

"Guidelines, advice, and questions for the reader are interspersed with the narrative. This insightful book is an important guide for any family trying to care for a loved one." -- Family Caregiver Alliance Update

"His Q&A approach...is perceptive without being intrusive, instructive without being dogmatic, informative without being technical, compassionate without being maudlin and focuses on problem solving without being cookie-cutter in approach. Even if you are not now a caregiver, it is an important read since many of you will probably become one sooner than later." -- eNN: Eldercare Network News

"Jacobs has a gripping writing style and a passion for the subject that sustain the reader during even the heaviest of topics. His use of the narrative makes the book easy to follow, while creating natural places to interject advice from his extensive knowledge about the stresses of caregiving. He addresses the touchy subjects that caregivers might be ashamed or afraid to ask about, reassuring them that feelings of resentment, guilt, and isolation are normal reactions that go with the territory of caregiving." -- Newsday

"There's plenty of practical advice on communication and finding meaning in suffering, but Jacobs's most valuable contribution is that he lays out the most dreadful selfish, unworthy thoughts anyone looking after a terminally ill parent could possibly have--and then assures us: Everyone feels that way." -- Philadelphia

"Wise material....A collection of questions and answers explores different facets of the caregiving task and offers specific tips and strategies for success. The resources section lists a variety of organizations, publications, and web sites....Highly recommended." -- Library Journal (starred review)

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 261 pages
• Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (March 16, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1593852959
• ISBN-13: 978-1593852955
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #821,592 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars a book that all caregivers and professionals should read, April 25, 2006

By 

David B. Seaburn "family psychologist" (New York State) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent (Paperback)

Barry Jacobs has written an excellent book not only for caregivers of aging medically ill parents but for professionals who work with patients and families coping with chronic illness. Several things stand out in this book. First is the approach which involves following a ficionalized pair of adult sisters who are caring for and coping with an ailing mother. Jacobs writes this account with great depth and creativity and is able to capture the kinds of feelings and describe the kinds of patterns that are often missing in other 'self help' books. Second, Jacobs also utilizes his own expereince, personal and professional, including advice columns he has written over the years. Third, the book covers evrerything from how to decide how much care you can provide to how to consider spiritual and other issues. Fourth, along the way are plenty of very valuable "how to" suggestions that will be of great benefit to any reader. If you are looking for even one caregiving book for your bookshelf, choose this one. Excellent read. Excellent resource.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Real Find for Both Clinicians and Caregivers, October 15, 2006

By 

Janice Goldman (Elkins Park, PA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent (Paperback)

Author Barry Jacobs has done his homework well and speaks of his subject matter with both expertise and the human touch of one who knows this territory first hand from having lived it both personally and professionally. As a practicing clinician, I have recommended it to many patients who are struggling with issues around the aging and declining health of their parents. Jacobs provides a prospective that steers a middle course between acknowledging the guilt that adult children feel around the need to take care of themselves while taking care of their parent, and the real physical and emotional demands of caretaking. Besides all that, he is a good writer and tells us about the central lessons of caretaking through the story of two sisters facing the serious illness of their mother. This subject is one most of us have to face sooner or later, and Barry Jacobs gives us an excellent guide as to how to navigate the terrain as well as possible.

Jan Goldman, Psy.D.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A really good and powerful story, April 24, 2006

A Kid's Review

This review is from: The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping an Aging Parent (Paperback)

The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers is an amazing book focused around the difficulties faces by two sisters taking care of their ailing mother. Real people can relate to the characters and their struggles are real to many people across America and the rest of the world. I think that anyone who is a caregiver should definately read this book.