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The vampires in this book are people who are antisocial, histrionic, narcissistic, obsessive-compulsive and paranoid and exhibit qualities that can be both charming and dangerous. If you don't understand them, vampires can draw you in, drive you crazy, and drain you dry. In this book, Dr. Albert Bernstein reveals the secrets that will protect you once and for all.
Emotional Vampires are out there . . . masquerading as ordinary people. Look down the street, where your charming neighbor oozes cordiality as he spreads stories behind your back. Look in the next cubicle, at that fast-rising corporate player who is paying so much attention to the machinations of office politics that she doesn't have time to actually do her job---she expects you to do it for her.
Emotional Vampires may lurk in your office, in your family, and in your circle of friends; perhaps they even share your bed. Chances are, you know all too many of them. Bright, talented, and charismatic, they win your trust, your confidence, and your affection--then drain you of your emotional energy. Take heart as you walk through the darkness, it doesn't have to be that way--the more you know about vampires, the less power they have over you.
Whether you're stalked by self-serving Narcissists, hedonistic Antisocials, exhausting Paranoids, or over-the-top Histrionic drama queens, this book will help you to protect yourself by teaching you to recognize the various vampire types before they get close enough to do damage, and what to do if you find yourself under attack. Emotional Vampires brings valuable advice, psychological perspective, much-needed humor to the most difficult and draining of human relationships.
Now you can take on those creatures of darkness with supersized egos and invisible consciences, the blood-sucking parasites who seem to think you exist only for their convenience, the monstrous tantrum-throwers who take no responsibility for their own actions, and even those poor little waifs who can't seem to do anything for themselves--tame them or send them back into the night to find easier prey. By the end of Emotional Vampires, you'll be armed with knowledge and tools, and all the confidence you need to take on the most draining people in your life and win without shedding the first drop of blood.
Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D. (Portland, Oregon), is the author of Dinosaur Brains, Neanderthals at Work, and Sacred Bull. A clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant, Dr. Bernstein is well known for teaching people to confront difficult and frightening situations with wit, wisdom, grace, and liberal doses of humor.
Emotional Vampires helps you deal with those coworkers, friends, and family members who would like nothing better than to drain your emotional and psychological well-being. Giving you the keys to understanding the nature of their behaviors and the way their brains work, Dr. Bernstein details a whole range of personality types and human responses and shows you what to expect and what to watch out for. Learn to spot the "vampires" in your life, and discover a range of defense strategies for when you find yourself under attack.
Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D., is the author of Dinosaur Brains, Neanderthals at Work, and Sacred Bull. A clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant, Dr. Bernstein is well known for teaching people to confront difficult and frightening situations with wit, wisdom, grace, and liberal doses of humor.
--This text refers to the Paperback edition.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
388 of 403 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Taking the Bite out of Vampires,
By joyce howell (virginia beach, va United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry (Hardcover)
Emotional Vampires teaches you how to protect yourself from people who emotionally and materially drain you for their own gain and at your expense. These "vampires" prey on colleagues, friends, and family. They are especially dangerous because their self-absorption prevents them from seeing that they are harming others, and even makes them think they are helping others. "Vampires" are especially gifted at finding the most vulnerable victims. With Dr. Bernstein's help, these vampires will see you as no easy prey and move on to others. You recognize Emotional Vampires by the emotional aftermath: they "take a lot out of you," they leave you feeling "drained," they "pushed your buttons," they are "high maintenance," etc. Dr. Bernstein is right on the money with "vampire bite" as a metaphorical diagnosis for the real harm these types cause, but beware: the fangs seldom show, and emotional vampires can seem as harmless and ineffectual as Aunt Bea, or as affable as Will Rogers. Each chapter is a recognizance of different "vampire" personality types. I realized I was particularly vulnerable to the "histrionics" who thrive on drama for its own sake. I used Bernstein's techniques on a certain "histrionic" vampire in my life, and now I'm thankfully out of her perpetual soap opera. I urge everybody to buy this book. It's a funny and easy read, but the subject is serious and the insights ring deeply true. Once you have read it you will have the power to protect yourself from a lot of hard times and wasted hours.
208 of 222 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Grand Master of Disorder Speaks.,
By
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This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Paperback)
Gee, I work with two vampire personalities but I have to tell you that this book by Bernstein has to be, by far, the finest non-technical description of personality disorders that I've ever encountered. It's for both the layman and the psychologist and, best of all, it's self-help. I can't say enough about it. It reads like deja vu for anyone who has ever suffered the attentions of self-promoting, self-worshipping, narcissistic psychopaths. His advice is sound but they're so crazy you can't always use it--yet you will feel better after reading his work.
79 of 84 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Important: a vampire is not a human being...,
By Baz (Manchester, England) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Paperback)
This is one book I wish I'd read before venturing, happily but naively, into the dim and murky world of the emotional vampire. But then, of course, none of this could possibly apply to the charming, gorgeous creature sharing my life. What a ridiculous thought! The poor thing has had a lot of tough breaks, and just needs a little help, right? Nobody's perfect. We can all use a little support. What's friendship for, let alone love? Yeah, lean on me, babe. I'm here for you... The next thing I know, a gradual sense of the surreal slowly begins to pervade my life. I find myself trying to figure stuff out all the time. What was that she said? Why did she say that? Why would someone do that? Is it me? Am I missing something? My mind going round and round in ever decreasing circles. Little did I know this is the first symptom of blood loss.
I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me. Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being. These people are parasites inhabiting the weird and batty world of the undead. I am not joking. This is a difficult concept to explain if you haven't been in a relationship with one. If you even suspect that your significant other is a vampire - there's only ONE thing you can do if you want to avoid more blood loss and keep your sanity. Run like hell in the opposite direction. And keep on running.
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