Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry [Import] [Paperback]

Albert J Bernstein (Author)

Product Details

• Paperback: 265 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill (2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071372679
• ISBN-13: 978-0071372671
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (113 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #8,012,760 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Al Bernstein is a Clinical Psychologist, Business Consultant and author. Over the past 30 years, he has worked with individual clients of all kinds and consulted with businesses large and small. His writing reflects the variety of his experiences as well as his humor and solid common sense. His books offer step-by-step instructions for dealing with difficult people and situations. Two of them, Dinosaur Brains, on the role of instincts in business, and Emotional Vampires on personality disorders are considered classics in their respective fields.
Born, raised and educated in Virginia, Dr. Al now lives in Oregon with his wife, children, granddaughter, two dogs and three cats.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

389 of 404 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Taking the Bite out of Vampires, November 24, 2000

By 

joyce howell (virginia beach, va United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry (Hardcover)

Emotional Vampires teaches you how to protect yourself from people who emotionally and materially drain you for their own gain and at your expense. These "vampires" prey on colleagues, friends, and family. They are especially dangerous because their self-absorption prevents them from seeing that they are harming others, and even makes them think they are helping others. "Vampires" are especially gifted at finding the most vulnerable victims. With Dr. Bernstein's help, these vampires will see you as no easy prey and move on to others. You recognize Emotional Vampires by the emotional aftermath: they "take a lot out of you," they leave you feeling "drained," they "pushed your buttons," they are "high maintenance," etc. Dr. Bernstein is right on the money with "vampire bite" as a metaphorical diagnosis for the real harm these types cause, but beware: the fangs seldom show, and emotional vampires can seem as harmless and ineffectual as Aunt Bea, or as affable as Will Rogers. Each chapter is a recognizance of different "vampire" personality types. I realized I was particularly vulnerable to the "histrionics" who thrive on drama for its own sake. I used Bernstein's techniques on a certain "histrionic" vampire in my life, and now I'm thankfully out of her perpetual soap opera. I urge everybody to buy this book. It's a funny and easy read, but the subject is serious and the insights ring deeply true. Once you have read it you will have the power to protect yourself from a lot of hard times and wasted hours.

208 of 222 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Grand Master of Disorder Speaks., April 22, 2004

By 

Bernard Chapin "Ora Et Labora!" (CHICAGO! USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Paperback)

Gee, I work with two vampire personalities but I have to tell you that this book by Bernstein has to be, by far, the finest non-technical description of personality disorders that I've ever encountered. It's for both the layman and the psychologist and, best of all, it's self-help. I can't say enough about it. It reads like deja vu for anyone who has ever suffered the attentions of self-promoting, self-worshipping, narcissistic psychopaths. His advice is sound but they're so crazy you can't always use it--yet you will feel better after reading his work.

82 of 87 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Important: a vampire is not a human being..., June 10, 2007

By 

Baz (Manchester, England) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry (Paperback)

This is one book I wish I'd read before venturing, happily but naively, into the dim and murky world of the emotional vampire. But then, of course, none of this could possibly apply to the charming, gorgeous creature sharing my life. What a ridiculous thought! The poor thing has had a lot of tough breaks, and just needs a little help, right? Nobody's perfect. We can all use a little support. What's friendship for, let alone love? Yeah, lean on me, babe. I'm here for you... The next thing I know, a gradual sense of the surreal slowly begins to pervade my life. I find myself trying to figure stuff out all the time. What was that she said? Why did she say that? Why would someone do that? Is it me? Am I missing something? My mind going round and round in ever decreasing circles. Little did I know this is the first symptom of blood loss.

I enjoyed this book even though it's quite a while since I managed to escape, dragging my poor depleted body through the Transylvanian woods to freedom and slowly regaining my sanity. Bernstein is the emotional equivalent of Van Helsing and this book is the string of garlic you need to hang around your neck. He writes well with much wisdom and a few laughs thrown in and there were many 'Aha!' moments for me.

Good as it is, I feel that this book will be most useful for victims outside of intimate relationships. God forbid that your significant other is an emotional vampire. The effects are devastating, extremely damaging and the abuse of friendship and love (much worse than physical abuse in my opinion) takes years to get over. The important thing to grasp is that these creatures are NOT human in the sense that most 'normal' people would understand. By definition, a vampire is not a human being. These people are parasites inhabiting the weird and batty world of the undead. I am not joking. This is a difficult concept to explain if you haven't been in a relationship with one.

If you even suspect that your significant other is a vampire - there's only ONE thing you can do if you want to avoid more blood loss and keep your sanity. Run like hell in the opposite direction. And keep on running.