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Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition Paperback


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Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, Revised and Expanded 2nd Edition + Emotional Vampires at Work: Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers Who Drain You Dry
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 2 edition (May 25, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071790950
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071790956
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #18,000 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Albert J. Bernstein, Ph. D., is a clinical psychologist, speaker, columnist, and business consultant. Dr. Bernstein is also the author of Dinosaur Brains, Neanderthals at Work, and Sacred Bull.


More About the Author

Dr. Al Bernstein is a Clinical Psychologist, Business Consultant and author. Over the past 30 years, he has worked with individual clients of all kinds and consulted with businesses large and small. His writing reflects the variety of his experiences as well as his humor and solid common sense. His books offer step-by-step instructions for dealing with difficult people and situations. Two of them, Dinosaur Brains, on the role of instincts in business, and Emotional Vampires on personality disorders are considered classics in their respective fields.
Born, raised and educated in Virginia, Dr. Al now lives in Oregon with his wife, children, granddaughter, two dogs and three cats.

Customer Reviews

With this book, I finally understand why certain people drive me crazy and drain all my energy.
Drema R. Apperson
Most books on this topic provide great descriptions of each type of personality disorder but provide little good advice on how to handle these folks.
Alexa Douglas
It is written in a clear and witty style that makes the book not only informative but a pleasure to read as well.
Raymond J. Macek

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

66 of 67 people found the following review helpful By RachelB on September 11, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have already posted a review of the original version of "Emotional Vampires" that has helped at least one person in their purchasing decision. Now, with regard to the revised and expanded Second Edition, I also give it 5 stars and encourage anyone who finds themselves navigating the shark-infested waters of living with/working with/associating with a person afflicted with a personality disorder to order it right away and study it like a Talmudic scholar.

Which version should you buy? Buy the original version if you are just starting out in learning about personality disorders. The original version is written for the novice, and shows each personality type defined and described to perfection. Dr. Bernstein will give you tips at the end of each personality type for dealing with their tantrums, tirades, schemes, alternate states of reality, hypnosis, paranoid delusions, aloofness, passive-aggressive assaults, and eyebrow-raising verbal cues.

However, if you already have some experience diagnosing personality disorders and want a more in-depth look, then I encourage you to get the Second Edition. Here you will find a wealth of information on drama queens, bullies, control freaks, daredevils, used car salesmen (not the actual, but maybe also the actual), lovable rogues, gossip queens, the terminally depressed, narcissistic legends, tiger moms, puritans and perfectionists.

Whew! The list is long and tiring, but think about it, if you don't have this trusty book hidden underneath your mattress, how could you possibly navigate a world full of Emotional Vampires? And in the age of the Kardashians, Facebook, iphones, botox, Paris Hilton, and Narcissistic politicians in high office, there may be more of THEM than there are of US.
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35 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Charlie Montana on July 15, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book was riveting in that we ALL have these people in our lives - so we ALL should read it. We might be working with them, living with them, children of them, spouses to them. Either we can't or won't believe that people can be this way and they are so alternatingly charming and pleasant and then cruel that they actually are training us like lab rats to exhibit the behavior they want from us ... and we stay around because we somehow want to save them from themselves. Women especially - READ it - and then make your daughters read it! Know about them before you are reading it to understand what just happened to you! I started out with highlighter but gave up because I was highlighting everything as though the book was just about me and my specific situation. Good stuff. I've shared it with friends who are caught in the world of an emotional vampire and they thanked me. Don't hesitate. You'll swear the author is writing about someone you know.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Cherie M. Mcginn on October 2, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Do you have a person in your life who, when you talk with them, have about 20 seconds worth of interest in you, and then spends the next 2 hours telling you everything that is going wrong in their life? Do you have a relative who only calls for "something". Or a boyfriend who keeps putting off commitment because he's "been so hurt by previous girlfriends"? Well, they are EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES -- pure and simple. They live to suck the life and happiness out of others -- for as long as the others will allow it. This book identifies exactly how we get sucked into such relationships, and how to extricate ourselves from them -- with or without the continuing friendship. I wish I had been able to read this book 30 years ago!
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18 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Vicki on the Oregon Coast on July 4, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was a really helpful book. It gave me some really good ideas and ways to deal with emotional vampires in the workplace, while also making me thankful I don't also have to deal with them at home.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Damaskcat on December 29, 2012
Format: Paperback
Do you have people in your life who seem to drain your energy? Do they need your attention all the time and expect you to put their needs before everything else in your life? Do they question you minutely about what you've been doing, who you've spoken to and where you want?

If you can answer yes to all those questions you may have one or more emotional vampires in your life. Like the fictional blood-sucking variety they may seem more attractive and more fun than anyone else you've ever known. But you need to be aware that this is just the surface and something much darker lurks underneath.

This fascinating, amusing and frightening book will help you to understand the vampire in your life and may help you to salvage a bit of your own life from the wreckage before you become just an accessory to the vampire. The author divides emotional vampires into categories - antisocial vampires, histrionic vampires, narcissistic vampires, obsessive-compulsive vampires, paranoid vampires. Some people may show tendencies from all these categories and all human being may exhibit some of the symptoms and behaviours at times.

The author demonstrates by means of everyday scenarios how vampires manipulate you into doing what they want you to. They put you in the wrong so that you feel obliged to help them and they twist what you say and use it against you. The only way to deal with them is to play them at their own game and stand your ground even if means ending your relationship with the vampire. Even if you don't think there is a vampire in your life at present this is still interesting reading if you are interested in psychology.
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