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Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life
 
 
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Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life [Hardcover]

Allison Moir-Smith (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 16, 2006
For the bride who thinks she should be blissfully happy-but is freaking out instead-a smart, compassionate guide to surviving the emotional upheaval of engagement

At last-you're newly engaged, with a beautiful ring on your finger and a great guy on your arm. There are parties planned in your honor, and you've found the dress of your dreams. This should be the happiest time of your life, right?

Not necessarily. The elation of engagement is often accompanied by a cocktail of unexpected emotions: Anxiety about making a lifelong commitment. Sadness about leaving your single life behind. Confusion when even simple decisions-should we serve chicken cordon bleu or beef Wellington?-bring you to tears. Worst of all, since everyone around you expects you to be happy, few brides feel there's anyone (who won't judge them) to go to with these conflicting feelings.

Emotionally Engaged is the guide distressed brides-to-be can turn to for help in determining which of these emotions are normal and even necessary, and which might indicate a real problem. Psychotherapist Allison Moir-Smith, founder of Emotionally Engaged Counseling for Brides, shares with readers her three-stage, tried-and-true process from her workshops and individual therapy sessions, offering insight, guidance, tips, and techniques for becoming an emotionally engaged bride-and wife.

"Framing the transition from fiancée to wife as an identity change was really validating. I found it particularly useful-and fascinating-to learn about others' experiences."
-Emotionally Engaged workshop participant, three months before her wedding



Editorial Reviews

Review

[This] pioneering bridal counselor . . . guides brides through the honest highs and lows of engagement. (Modern Bride)

Excellent . . . A must-read for every single bride. (Tango magazine) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Back Cover

"Framing the transition from fiancée to wife as an identity change was really validating. I found it particularly useful—and fascinating—to learn about others’ experiences."
—Emotionally Engaged workshop participant, three months before her wedding

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 14 and up
  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Hudson Street Press; 1 edition (February 16, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1594630143
  • ISBN-13: 978-1594630149
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.7 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #713,983 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

20 Reviews
5 star:
 (15)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (2)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (20 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars "Happiest" time of my life suddenly less stressful thanks to this book, August 26, 2006
By 
C. Leahy "chris10l_2000" (Haverhill, MA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life (Hardcover)
Amazing!
I thought I was completley insane for being sad only 2months into my engagement with 13 months to go until the wedding.

If you are stressed or sad during your engagement or know someone who is, this book is a must read.

Allison Moir-Smith destroys all the myths about weddings and planning them. My favorite is "a wedding is just a big party" to which she responds "Really? How many parties have you gone home from with a husband who can make life or death decisions for you, a new branch on your family tree and possibly a new last name?"

She also explains that if you are obsessing over certain aspects of your wedding, there is a reason for it. I'm still stressed, but much better equipped to handle it and take a step back and realize that this is an emotional time in my life and that it's ok to let emotions...ALL of them in.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Help for the neurotic bride-to-be, April 15, 2006
By 
Anonymous (Columbia, SC) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life (Hardcover)
Discovering what it "really" feels like be to engaged--after years of watching romantic comedies and dreaming about my own far-off, future wedding--was truly one of the biggest surprises of my life. Sometimes, being engaged to my beautiful, wonderful fiance felt blissful and exciting, like I always thought it would. But at other times it felt absolutely terrifying, and I was convinced that I was starting to go crazy. Even worse, my family and friends--so eager to discuss with me the minutest details of wedding, dress, flowers and cake--acted uncomfortable or changed the subject whenever I tried to explain how I was "really" feeling.

If this sounds anything like you (or someone you know), read Moir-Smith's book. It's not the only book out there on the topic of women's transitions from single to married life, but one of the things that sets Moir-Smith's book apart is that it's so enjoyable to read. Even as she discusses the decidedly unromantic emotional challenges newly engaged women face, the author maintains a cheerful and optimistic tone, helping anxious readers remember that this IS an exciting time and that marriage IS something to look forward to. Reading the book was like having the benefit of a professional counselor and a wise and supportive girlfriend all in one (Moir-Smith shares her own engagement and early marriage experiences throughout the book). I particularly appeciated Moir-Smith's discussion of the positive emotional adjustments that can accompany the first year of a healthy marriage--it doesn't HAVE to be a gloomy period of post-wedding depression (by the way, I am now nine months into my marriage and loving it!!).
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars MY SAVIOR!, April 14, 2006
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This review is from: Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life (Hardcover)
No one tells you about the rite of passage that commences once you're engaged and transitioning from single to married life. Hollywood would have us believe that we should be a bundle of giddy joy from dawn to dusk. You should be happy - grateful even - you're engaged! But, in fact, like any major life change, it requires adjustments, and Allison Moir-Smith is a lifeboat in choppy waters. She explains just how normal it is to have the feelings you're having, and knowing that you're not alone and that what you're experiencing are normal growing pains helps immeasurably. Easy to read with lots of helpful exercises (check out the "cold feet alerts") that help you discern whether your feelings are simply fear or whether you should head for the hills. Freaking out? Not sure why? BUY THIS BOOK! I've read a few of the books available on this website - if you can only pick one, this is the one.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
It all started off happily enough. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
new family map, bridging stage, wedding stress, single girlfriends, engaged women
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Bride Brain, Cold Feet Alert, Einotionally Engaged, Sarah the Sociologist
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Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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