Customer Reviews

Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Amazing!

I thought I was completley insane for being sad only 2months into my engagement with 13 months to go until the wedding.

If you are stressed or sad during your engagement or know someone who is, this book is a must read.

Allison Moir-Smith destroys all the myths about weddings and planning them. My favorite is "a wedding is just a big party" to which she responds "Really? How many parties have you gone home from with a husband who can make life or death decisions for you, a new branch on your family tree and possibly a new last name?"

She also explains that if you are obsessing over certain aspects of your wedding, there is a reason for it. I'm still stressed, but much better equipped to handle it and take a step back and realize that this is an emotional time in my life and that it's ok to let emotions...ALL of them in.

Discovering what it "really" feels like be to engaged--after years of watching romantic comedies and dreaming about my own far-off, future wedding--was truly one of the biggest surprises of my life. Sometimes, being engaged to my beautiful, wonderful fiance felt blissful and exciting, like I always thought it would. But at other times it felt absolutely terrifying, and I was convinced that I was starting to go crazy. Even worse, my family and friends--so eager to discuss with me the minutest details of wedding, dress, flowers and cake--acted uncomfortable or changed the subject whenever I tried to explain how I was "really" feeling.

If this sounds anything like you (or someone you know), read Moir-Smith's book. It's not the only book out there on the topic of women's transitions from single to married life, but one of the things that sets Moir-Smith's book apart is that it's so enjoyable to read. Even as she discusses the decidedly unromantic emotional challenges newly engaged women face, the author maintains a cheerful and optimistic tone, helping anxious readers remember that this IS an exciting time and that marriage IS something to look forward to. Reading the book was like having the benefit of a professional counselor and a wise and supportive girlfriend all in one (Moir-Smith shares her own engagement and early marriage experiences throughout the book). I particularly appeciated Moir-Smith's discussion of the positive emotional adjustments that can accompany the first year of a healthy marriage--it doesn't HAVE to be a gloomy period of post-wedding depression (by the way, I am now nine months into my marriage and loving it!!).

No one tells you about the rite of passage that commences once you're engaged and transitioning from single to married life. Hollywood would have us believe that we should be a bundle of giddy joy from dawn to dusk. You should be happy - grateful even - you're engaged! But, in fact, like any major life change, it requires adjustments, and Allison Moir-Smith is a lifeboat in choppy waters. She explains just how normal it is to have the feelings you're having, and knowing that you're not alone and that what you're experiencing are normal growing pains helps immeasurably. Easy to read with lots of helpful exercises (check out the "cold feet alerts") that help you discern whether your feelings are simply fear or whether you should head for the hills. Freaking out? Not sure why? BUY THIS BOOK! I've read a few of the books available on this website - if you can only pick one, this is the one.

This is a great book and I throughly enjoyed reading it! As a bride preparing for marriage and a big wedding, it was so helpful. I found myself relaxing while reading about other brides that had gone through the same thing I find myself dealing with everyday. I've actually started to enjoy planning my wedding! Now, on a more important note--this book also helped me mentally prepared to be a better wife. I think that is the part I've struggled with the most. I've blamed it on the wedding planning, but after really disecting my feelings I found it's the stress of being in a marriage. I've been independent so long, it's hard to feel like I'm "in this" with someone else. It's been really hard to give up the "single" side of myself, but with this book I've learned to grow up(so to speak) and realize changes in life are a good thing and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams!

This is the BEST BOOK I've read so far on the EMOTIONAL aspects of being engaged and getting married!

Before I read this book, I was freaking out about getting married and everyone around me was so "oh you're so lucky," and "oh, how's the wedding planning going?" And "wow, aren't you just the happiest ever?" And you know what, yes, I am lucky and I am happy, just not 100% of the time.

The wedding planning is great, but beyond that, there's a marriage about to happen here and that's sometimes scary and often very emotional...but in our society, we're not allowed to talk about that...it's all about the wedding and planning and the ring and so on...and that's all fine and dandy and great....but in reality, it's a big huge life change that is unlike anything else in the world!

I think when people get engaged there's this misconeption that it's ALL fun and games and ALL happy go lucky times...and that's just not true.

Yes, this IS the happiest time of my life, but it's also, much to my suprise, THE MOST EMOTIONAL TIME OF MY LIFE!!! This BOOK MADE IT OKAY TO SAY THAT...this book made it "normal," to feel that way without apologizing for it or feeling like I was wierd.

I have such a SENSE OF PEACE now that I've read this book! It's very CALMING and RATIONAL...even during moments of irrationality!!! LOL!

This book is very well written and thought out and it's full of absolute truths! This book reminded me that being engaged, while happy and wonderful, is also the single biggest life change one will ever make (aside from becoming a parent, of course)! I laughed and cried while reading this book and I read it one night, because I simply COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN.

This books makes it OKAY to FEEL ANYTHING....from happy and great to sad and crying...it talks about the mood swings, the other relatinoship changes you go through (parents, family, friends), the reality of day-to-day life with your fiance (probably more fighting than usual) and most of all, this book, for me, held a mirror up to me, my emotions and my life...and as it turns out, I'm not that crazy after all!

It was so COMFORTING to know that I'm not the only one who feels the way I do about being engaged...and best of all....

This BOOK ALLOWED ME TO ENJOY MY ENGAGEMENT more than ever before! This book has allowed me to get EXCITED about planning my wedding and getting maried.... and not be so scared about actually doing so. This book has allowed me to look at things in perspective and realize, yet again, that I do want to marry my fiancee' and my cold feet has/had NOTHING to do with him what so ever....it's normal to second guess yourself and your fiancee' and it's also normal to have an identity crisis too!!!

While reading this book, I realized that this is all a big huge normal phase and I'll adjust...it made me grateful to feel what I'm feeling becuase now I can name it, claim it and move on.

If you're engaged and feeling overwhelmed, stressed, sad and even depressed, please don't feel guilty about it...read this book and you'll realize that you're clearly not alone!

This book is HONEST, COMFORTING, EMOTIONAL and WONDERFUL! Whether you're newly engaged or have been for a while....

I highly reccomend taking the time to read this book!

This book is a must read for any engaged female and her friends. When one of my best friends was married I practically mourned the fact that she was leaving singlehood with me. I couldn't understand these feelings when I was so happy that she found a wonderful man and I knew she was happy too. When I got engaged, I started feeling sad about leaving my family and my single friends behind. Even though I knew I'd have them both for life. I heard about this book and decided to buy it. It honestly helped me sort through all my feelings of sadness, dragging my feet, and why I was struggling with happy feelings regarding my future with my fiance. After I read the book, I was so excited to get married, I couldn't wait for the day to come. I had never felt that way before the book. At the same time, it helped me understand why I felt so sad when my best friend got married. I have 3 friends getting married this summer and this book will definitely make the rounds to them.

I am so grateful for this fantastic book. I was going through some intense challenges leading up to my marriage and Allison's book saved the day! I managed to articulate gracefully and transform family relationships that were at an impasse. Now, I'm two weeks away from my wedding and feel confident that I have all the tools I need to enjoy my wedding day and be fully present. I have read several bridal book and this is one the one I put at the top of my list. It is witty, intelligent and inspires one to be a better person, full of love!

I recently became interested in books that depicted the engagement and wedding planning process in a realistic light. Perhaps because I did not fall into the fairytale dream wedding scheme, but then again, how many of us do?

This book provided an eye opening read that catered to my emotions are a bride to be...and not just a bride, but a woman who just happened to be getting married and experiencing a big change in her life and status as an individual.

I found myself in the stories in the book...I found myself laughing at the irony of those stories and how I was feeling and I also found myself mourning along with the stories of the loss of the single self and readjusting as a married woman.

I knew I was experiencing the things that are talked about in the book, but I didn't really understand why. Now I have a much clearer picture. I highly recommend this book to any bride to be!

This book was amazing. I felt so isolated when I went through a period of depression after getting engaged and I couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with me. After all, I was going to be marrying my best friend, the man that made me so happy and also made me the envy of every female around me. This book was right on target on providing the insight that I needed to realize that I was not crazy and there were many others who struggled with conflicting emotions about getting married. A huge relief to know that I was NOT extraordinary for initialy not feeling like the euphoric bride that everyone expected me to be. Once I realized why I felt the way I did, I was able to work through these feelings and finally join the populace of those that are happily engaged.

i plan to give this as a gift to anyone i know that gets engaged. it explains the highs and lows of engagement and how to deal with it without the psychobabble. A+