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on August 16, 2013
I've been a couple therapist for more than 30 years and have been learning and working
within the EFT model for 4 years. I've been giving books to couples for all of my practice
life. I have given or recommended this book to every couple in my practice.
The response has been consistently enthusiastic, and to hear ENTHUSIASM
from women and men about a self-help book is a rare thing. I really want to underscore
this: The couples are really using this book.

The tone of the book is extremely accessible. It's like a handy tool box to help couples relate
to their own and their partner's emotional life and to help them work together on their relationship.
Here are some of the things I've heard from those I've given this book,
"I can really see the impact I am having on my wife." "I can see how my husband
is hurting in a way I never considered." "The book helped me slow down and look
into my primary feeling. When I shared with my wife, there was no fight. She was
receptive. I think this book is really going to help us."

I think this is the perfect book for couples. I recommend it to EFT therapists, therapists
interested in this model, and especially to couples who are looking for a book that
can truly help them be more connected.
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on August 26, 2013
I've been counseling couples for many years and this book is one of the two best books for couples I have ever read. The authors have done an amazing job of elucidating the emotional work that can lead to a safe, secure and loving bond for a distressed couples relationship. I'm recommending this very practical book to all of my couples. It does a good job of clarifying the different roles partners get caught up in, resulting in an often destructive reactive cycle within the relationship. It then presents some well researched tools to help couples interrupt the reactive pattern they are caught in and restore peace and intimate connection to this most important relationship. The hope and strength Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy brings to the field of couples therapy and individual couples is truly transformative as well as personally exciting for me as a therapist and as a husband.
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on September 15, 2013
This was a book we've all been wanting for, for years! EFT can be a complicated therapy to comprehend, and here - at last - is a book that explains it all in very readable terms, for, . . . . . uh, dummies.

No - not dummies so much as those of us who have wanted to be able to understand the model and have a way of explaining it to others. This is a great read- for therapists as well as for all of those couples out there so desiring to have a better, closer, more bonded relationship.

Bradley and Furrow do a most excellent job weaving in stories of the couples they've counseled. Example after example bring it all home - it's easy to see yourself, or your friends, or clients on the pages as the chapters unfold.

This would be an excellent book for therapists interested in the EFT model, but not yet ready to commit to learning EFT. Also for motivated clients who want to understand more than just communication skills (that no one uses under distress). And for seasoned EFT therapists to share with clients so that they can understand what is really going on under the surface. It's not about the silly things that we all fight about - it's about the emotions underneath driving the crazy patterns we all find ourselves in, from time to time.

I couldn't give it a higher recommendation!
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on August 7, 2013
Even though I have participated in numerous trainings on EFT and read extensively to deepen my understanding of EFT, nothing has been more useful for me than this easy to read text! The authors have done an excellent job of presenting EFT,whether you are a practitioner or couple wanting to use EFT in your own relationship. I cannot say enough positive words about the author's efforts to describe this amazing model in easy to understand language, as well as using helpful real examples from their clinical practices. I also liked how they incorporated exercises for couples to use to deepen partners' understanding of their negative dynamics,the role each plays in creating distance, and how to listen to your emotions.
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on October 9, 2013
Highly recommend this book. It includes so much information and is easy to understand. I also own "Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson, which I also recommend, but this book is different from that.

This one includes information on understanding emotions in ourselves, understanding the emotional motivations in our partner that can come across in a negative way, emotional reactivity, overcoming broken trust, and even the topic of shame, which I've learned is very harmful to a marriage.

Not many marriage books explain so many different aspects of what really affects a relationship. And, the examples provided are very easy to relate to.
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VINE VOICEon October 23, 2013
Format: Paperback|Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
As I said, this is an extremely thorough treatment of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, and it's presented in a very readable style that is excellent for both therapists, like me, and lay people.

I was especially taken with a few sections in the back; namely: Ten Questions To Ask a Therapist Before You Make an Appointment, Ten Rituals To Bring You Closer (even though they didn't include the ritual of saying please and thank you), Ten Myths about Emotion and Relationships, and Ten Myths About Sex.

I can easily see how the suggestions and techniques in this book could revitalize a stale marriage, re-orient one that has gone off course, and help many couples just starting out together.
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on October 26, 2013
I'm not sure if the author intended this book for EFT therapists or clients (the majority of the reviews to date are from therapists), but as a client, I recommend it highly. As of this writing, I've only read the 2 chapters on feelings and emotions (chapters 3 and 4). And yet, even given my lifelong and avid interest in psychological matters... the marriage relationship... years of recovery in other venues... and other forays into couples therapy... this book nailed it. I like to think (and my husband would attest!) that I am the keeper of the psychological keys to our relationship, but this book (and the EFT therapeutic process itself) gamely but gently makes it clear that both partners contribute to the cycles that can undermine a relationship. Am looking forward to finishing this accessible tome.
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on July 24, 2014
Painful learning. Especially hard to read if you, like me, are going through a divorce and want it to be over - NOT how to salvage a relationship.

But getting a peek into why you react the way you do, what you do, how you approach or avoid conflict or contact... This book is helping me to re-think how I attach myself to acquaintances, friends, lovers. Why some of the relationships worked well, and others were doomed from the start. There is excellent practical advice and exercises (some impossible to do as a singleton) that can motivate you to find better alternatives in communication and especially to short-circuit the self-destructive habits that have become so ingrained. Whether you pursue or withdraw as a matter of course, this book can help find a softer, safer way to do it.
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on September 5, 2013
I am a therapist and getting certified in EFT. This book would be a fantastic compliment to the work I do with couples or to be recommended to people who need relationship help but are not willing to come in for treatment.
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TOP 1000 REVIEWERon December 17, 2013
Format: Paperback|Vine Customer Review of Free Product( What's this? )
The Good: I think it would be impossible to read this book and not get enough information out of it to make it worth the purchase price or time spent reading it. It's an easy format where you can just flip to the chapter that applies and find the information you need and skip the ones that don't. And over all it is written in a down to earth tone as described. There are so many different areas covered in it that whatever you are going through as a couple I'm sure you'll find some solid guidance or information that makes you think and that you can apply to your situation whether you are facing a mud puddle or a mudslide size problem. For me, I found the chapters that covered patterns and withdrawing the most helpful. And I thought the chapter on Ten Rituals to Bring you Closer was very well done too.

The Not so good: Only two minor ones because the book really was well written overall and had a lot of useful information in it.
A few times it slips into psychological terms and it pulls me out of the ease of reading it because I don't like psychobabble at all. The fact that it is a Dummies book and described as down to earth is what attracted me to it, so I enjoyed the parts that kept it at that level with words without entering territory that had me imagining some stuffy professor in a sweater vest and pipe.

Starting off the sex chapter with the old stereotype "researchers have found that men between the ages of 18 and 25 think about sex once every five minutes. Between the ages of 26 and 55, 25 percent of men couldn't go five minutes without sex popping into their minds." left me rolling my eyes. Come on now. Do they think about it a lot? Of course. Women too. But I've been around even the most perverted of men all my life and I don't know one that thinks about sex every five minutes. Imagine the reality of that. How could they even dress themselves. But the rest of that chapter improved.

I would recommend this book.
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