The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing [Paperback]

Patti Henry (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 2004

The Emotionally Unavailable Man is two books in one — one side is for the emotionally unavailable man and the other is for his partner. It details why men become emotionally unavailable and specifies the actions that can be taken by both men and women to realize improvement. MEN, do you ever feel like a little boy in a grown-up body? Like you have no personal power? Flip to the men’s side of this book and let expert psychotherapist Patti Henry help you

• Get your "power"
• Stop avoiding difficult situations
• Calm your partner’s anger
• Learn how to say "No"
• Set and maintain appropriate boundaries
• Be more effective at work
• Increase and enhance the sex in your relationship
• Feel personal freedom and happiness

WOMEN, do you want your husband to be emotionally available to you? Flip to the women’s side of this book and let expert marriage counselor Patti Henry help you

• Determine if your partner is capable of being emotionally available
• Decide what you can — and cannot — do to help
• Discover how to lose your anger
• Exercise mutuality and safety
• Learn how to recognize and confront your own resistances
• Restore hope about long-term change
• Gain clarity about your future

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Patti Henry, M.Ed., L.P.C., has been a psychotherapist in private practice since 1988. She began her career developing women’s programs in psychiatric hospitals, committed to empowering women. For the last ten years, however, her focus shifted when she observed how desperately men needed healing, as well. She lives in Houston with her husband and their two sons.

Product Details

• Paperback: 264 pages
• Publisher: Rainbow Books, Inc. (September 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1568250967
• ISBN-13: 978-1568250960
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #28,912 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

55 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A revelation ... a must read., February 21, 2006

By 

Anti-Hurricane (Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing (Paperback)

This book was a revelation ... finally I understand why my husband behaves the way he does and why I respond to him the way I do ... and why we kept engaging in such a futile dance on a daily basis. In a sense, it's taken us both "off the hook".

The bottom line is that this knowledge has empowered me. I have changed the way I respond to him. I no longer take his behaviour personally, but instead accept this as a universal problem with many, many men and not just with my man. He's now reading the book and (for the first time with any book he's read) said "it makes sense".

Often self-help books make men feel inadequate. This book instead reinforces that the behaviour of the emotionally unavailable man is entirely normal in the circumstances. It acknowledges their fear and hesitancy whilst gently encouraging them to take tentative steps in overcoming their lifelong conditioning. It is a doable "blueprint for healing".

I don't want to be the "hurricane" (albeit a very quiet one) in my husband's life. I love him, why would I want to hurt him or make him even more unavailable? Perhaps this book and the newfound patience it can engender in partners will lead to these men becoming much more available to us and others in their lives who are important to them. This is the first time I've actually been optimistic that this might be possible. Everybody wants to be understood, and this book takes a quantum leap in helping us to genuinely understand the emotionally unavailable man. Thank you sincerely Patti Henry.

Dividing the book into a men's section and a women's section was entirely apt. Partners absolutely need to be proactive in helping their man in his efforts to change. We need to be patient, encouraging and compassionate. We need to empathise. We need to leave our frustration in the past. These men are invariably in pain. They don't shut themselves off happily ... it's self-preservation in its most basic form.

I sincerely believe this book should be recommended reading for every parent with a son. It would be a travesty if we created yet another generation of emotionally unavailable men. We all miss out on way too much in doing so.

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars How to Have a Happy Relationship, March 2, 2005

By 

Joanna F. Crawford (USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing (Paperback)

I have recommended this book to so many people and they've all loved it. All of the men who I know who have read it have raved about it -- and most guys I know don't really get into "self-help" books.

What makes this book unique -- besides a message that is all about how to have healthy relationships -- is that it's written for both men and women. One side of the book is "for men," then flip it over and the other side is written for the women who love them.

Several times, I had to stop reading just to have a "lightbulb moment." This book is fabulous.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good advice for all marriages, March 3, 2005

By 

I. Ruth Arnold - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing (Paperback)

I do not usually read self help books and read this one only at the urging of a friend. It is a marvelous book. Not only is the advice it offers extremely insightful and helpful, but this book passes the major test for any book - it is a great read. I found its analysis of typical problems in marriages so helpful that I sent a copy to my engaged daughter and her fiance.