Customer Reviews

The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing

5 star:		(52)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This book was a revelation ... finally I understand why my husband behaves the way he does and why I respond to him the way I do ... and why we kept engaging in such a futile dance on a daily basis. In a sense, it's taken us both "off the hook".

The bottom line is that this knowledge has empowered me. I have changed the way I respond to him. I no longer take his behaviour personally, but instead accept this as a universal problem with many, many men and not just with my man. He's now reading the book and (for the first time with any book he's read) said "it makes sense".

Often self-help books make men feel inadequate. This book instead reinforces that the behaviour of the emotionally unavailable man is entirely normal in the circumstances. It acknowledges their fear and hesitancy whilst gently encouraging them to take tentative steps in overcoming their lifelong conditioning. It is a doable "blueprint for healing".

I don't want to be the "hurricane" (albeit a very quiet one) in my husband's life. I love him, why would I want to hurt him or make him even more unavailable? Perhaps this book and the newfound patience it can engender in partners will lead to these men becoming much more available to us and others in their lives who are important to them. This is the first time I've actually been optimistic that this might be possible. Everybody wants to be understood, and this book takes a quantum leap in helping us to genuinely understand the emotionally unavailable man. Thank you sincerely Patti Henry.

Dividing the book into a men's section and a women's section was entirely apt. Partners absolutely need to be proactive in helping their man in his efforts to change. We need to be patient, encouraging and compassionate. We need to empathise. We need to leave our frustration in the past. These men are invariably in pain. They don't shut themselves off happily ... it's self-preservation in its most basic form.

I sincerely believe this book should be recommended reading for every parent with a son. It would be a travesty if we created yet another generation of emotionally unavailable men. We all miss out on way too much in doing so.

I have recommended this book to so many people and they've all loved it. All of the men who I know who have read it have raved about it -- and most guys I know don't really get into "self-help" books.

What makes this book unique -- besides a message that is all about how to have healthy relationships -- is that it's written for both men and women. One side of the book is "for men," then flip it over and the other side is written for the women who love them.

Several times, I had to stop reading just to have a "lightbulb moment." This book is fabulous.

I do not usually read self help books and read this one only at the urging of a friend. It is a marvelous book. Not only is the advice it offers extremely insightful and helpful, but this book passes the major test for any book - it is a great read. I found its analysis of typical problems in marriages so helpful that I sent a copy to my engaged daughter and her fiance.

When I first heard that Patti Henry had written a book, "The Emotionally Unavailable Man", I immediately obtained it. Being a "transplanted" New Yorker, now a "resident" of Texas, I was not sure if it applied to me as I have that inherited Northeastern "skepticism" and was a single, never married male in my fifties. After hearing Patti speak and finding her to be such a great live speaker, I was interested to see how she communicated in writing. I was very pleasantly surprised, in fact shocked as this book, while delving into all aspects of marital relations, really applies to everyone regardless of marital status.

With her eloquent, yet very understandable style of writing, Patti Henry clearly illustrates all the factors that impact on human relationships, first concentrating on the male perspective, then the female. Her chapters on "Family of Origin" and the "Blind Quadrant'" are simply stunning, and make you read it again and again to get a deeper insight into your own life. Many times, people who are having problems in their lives seek assistance from friends, therapists, or reading books like "The Emotionally Unavailable Man." After reading this book a number of times, I am convinced that "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" ought to be required reading for everyone, as it gives a unique insight into the human psyche that would benefit all. Patti Henry writes as she speaks in person. She makes you feel like every word was written specifically for the reader. Without reservation, I recommend this book to any adult and also suggest that if Patti Henry is speaking in your city, treat yourself, and go hear her. You will not be disappointed.

Robert Pryor
President - Educational Resources Intl. Inc.

With all the self-help/self-understanding/relationship books I've read (including Mars and Venus), yours has been the most influential in my life. It has given me the tools I've needed most to be my own person and begin to repair the damage my emotional unavailability has caused for both myself and my (beautiful, wonderful, amazing) wife.

This is the first self-help book I have ever read that hit right on the money. It is the first book that accurately describes how I feel as a man in this society and has helpful, doable suggestions for healing. It has, literally, saved my marriage. I highly recommend it.

Ms. Henry claims, on the inside cover(s), this book will help you to stop avoiding conflicts, calm your partner's anger, and set and maintain appropriate boundaries, etc. Ms. Henry comes through on these claims and so much more!!! She offers insight into our behavior and provides practical strategies with a step-by-step process that will better any relationship. This is by far the best self-help book I've ever read!!! My husband agrees. Our copy is already on loan to a friend.

This book was recommended to me by my therapist. It is a unique book for couples because it has a section dedicated to the man and another for the woman. It investigates the reasons why a man is emotionally unavailable and gives specific steps for resolving the problems. It also touches on why woman chose this type of man and what she can do to change herself and support her husband in his efforts. Eventhough I have been in therapy for years, I learned a lot of new information about me, my parents and my marriage.

This is the best book I've read on men and emotions. I've
probably read every book about men since the mid-80s, and I've tried
three attempts myself to talk about men and the male stereotype. I've
been in mens groups since the late 80s and have facilitated a men's
group since 1999 ... all by way of emphasizing how impressed I am by
this book. You achieved a perfect balance of directness and compassion.

Even more amazing to me is the women's side of the book. I've never read
anything this gutsy and direct to women about the way they treat men
emotionally. Based on my years of listening to men, I can't begin to
say how right-on Henry is in her women's pages. Many, many times I
and the men in the groups have wanted to say just what she's said, but
knew that we would never be listened to if we did. We'd immediately be
shoved off the edge as male chauvinist pigs. So, thanks from all of us.

Would that Henry could get this into the hands of every person ... the
pain and agony it would eliminate.

This book also started me on a healing journey of my own from emotional
incest. A special thanks for this.

This book is fantastic. It is the only book I've found that provides help for men on becoming emotionally available. All the other books I've seen are from the women's perspective and not very helpful. The book provides very concrete exercises and steps to follow. It also goes into how we became emotionally unavailable. It is helping me save my marriage and all other interpersonal relationships.